Interlude: A Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel Story
by Mira-Terrik
Summary: **ANNOUCEMENT-JULY 25: Check Under Reviews** After a recon mission goes awry, Jaina Solo and Jag Fel are stranded on a desolate planet. **COMPLETED!**
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All things STAR WARS belong to George Lucas and his franchise. This story is strictly for fun. No profit is being made off of it, it's simply here for your enjoyment!  
  
***Minor Spoilers from Dark Journey and Rebel Dream. This takes place within the first seven days that our young pilots arrive on Borleias.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER ONE  
  
Colonel Jagged Fel was not accustomed to uncertainty. He stood outside the office of his uncle, Wedge Antilles, his fist hovering in mid- knock. The New Republic had reclaimed Borleias a little more than a standard month ago, and Jag himself had arrived only hours ago with two rag- tag squadrons that had accompanied him from Hapes. He intended to aide the New Republic in any way he could, however it was that intention that plagued him now in the late evening hours.  
  
He was about to ask a favour of a man he barely knew. During his tenure as a liaison between the New Republic and the Imperial Remnant, he spent most of his time away from both sides, and the time he wished he'd had to get to know his uncle was never available to him. He had a feeling that Wedge would give in to his favour; he had heard that his uncle was a fair man, a man who possessed more military savvy than many political figures cared to admit. Yet, something nagged at him to forego this idea of his. Something gnawed at his courage, preventing his fist from making impact with the door. Jag frowned as his hand fell back to his side.  
  
He knew exactly why he hesitated and it had nothing to do with Wedge. If my father knew that I was here, knew what I was about to do, he'd kill me. Jag sighed. The last conversation he had with his father instantly came to his mind, and General Baron Soontir Fel's words still had the power to scold, long after they had been spoken. I expected better of you--a not uncommon dynamic between fathers and their sons. Facing the wrath of his father, disappointing him yet again, was a fate worse than death, Jag had decided long ago. His father wasn't always a hard man to deal with. Out of uniform, Soontir Fel was a kind, compassionate man, but once in uniform, his military training brought about a different facade, one Jag both feared and respected.  
  
His actions here, however, would be considered rash. Rebellious, perhaps, and that would only damage his relationship with his father a little further. However, if I don't go ahead with this, I'm going to continue throughout this war with the Yuuzhan Vong feeling as if I haven't done my share in aiding the galaxy in some way. Father will be disappointed, but he will understand my reasoning.  
  
He straightened and knocked on the door. It was only a matter of seconds before the door rolled back, and Wedge Antilles stood there, smiling through his weariness. Behind him, Jag noticed Luke Skywalker standing next to a corner desk. The Jedi Master looked over and smiled.  
  
"Jag!" Wedge stepped away from the door, making room for Jag to enter. "It's good to see you! C'mon in!"  
  
Jag bowed respectfully to his uncle, not moving into the office. "I apologize for stopping by so late. I didn't mean to interrupt--"  
  
Wedge waved away the comment, the smile still on his face. "Nonsense! Luke and I were just talking." He clasped Jag on the shoulder, ushering him into the office. "Besides, I always have time for family."  
  
Luke nodded to Wedge and Jag. "I'll leave the two of you to talk."  
  
Jag executed the same bow to Luke. "Please don't leave on my account, Master Skywalker. I'm not here on personal business."  
  
"Oh." Luke looked mildly surprised as he turned to Wedge. They glanced at each other, exchanging conspiratorial smiles. The Jedi Master took a seat in front of Wedge's desk.  
  
Wedge closed the door and gestured to a seat next to Luke. "Have a seat, Jag, and tell us what's on your mind." His uncle circled his desk and seated himself, taking up a glass of amber liquid.  
  
Unsure what the look between his uncle and Luke meant, Jag shrugged it off and took the proffered seat, maintaining his formality. "I overheard some of your E-Wing pilots discussing a reconnaissance mission to the Kesna Sector."  
  
Wedge turned an annoyed face to Luke, rolling his eyes. "Remind me at our next meeting, Luke, to reiterate the definition of the word 'classified'." Jag noticed a slight grin on the Jedi Master's face as Wedge looked back to him and sighed. "Kesna is on the fringes of the Sesswenna Sector, closer to Averam than to Coruscant. It's mostly made up of uninhabitable worlds. The last recon we had there was six months ago, and there were no signs of Yuuzhan Vong activity." Wedge finished his drink, setting the empty glass down in front of him, his fingers still wrapped around it. "With the enemy on Coruscant, the Vong could use Kesna against us, waging a war on two fronts should they decide to throw a full military assault on Borleias. However, if they are not there, Kesna could be used later on as a staging area for our troops when we take back Coruscant."  
  
The confidence in his uncle's voice was refreshing. Jag had heard too many talking about surrender and failure lately that the determination in Wedge's voice sparked his own further. "I thought that E-Wings were not equipped for long-range recon operations?"  
  
"They're not." Wedge snorted. "E-Wings have the speed and the firepower required for medium assault and close support for convoys or to reinforce planetary defences, such as here at Borleias. Because I'm lacking in supplies, I don't have any unmanned probes to send to Kesna, so, I'm sending five of my fastest ships. A modified Corellian Corvette will accompany them as a command ship, and each E-Wing will be hitting a different system . It will take them about seven days, and the information they'll gather won't be nearly enough, but it will help aide us in piecing together what's going on in Kesna, if anything. I'd prefer to keep them here, but this information could be critical down the line. "  
  
"I see."  
  
"You have a suggestion, Colonel?"  
  
Jag blinked, not realizing he had been lost in his thoughts, and turned toward Luke. The Jedi Master was studying him pensively, and Jag had the sudden feeling that his thoughts were no longer his own. He regained his composure, and nodded. "Yes, I do." While he spoke, he kept his attention divided between the two veterans. "Your E-Wings and the Chiss Clawcraft have a number of similarities. Both ships are exceptionally manoeuvrable, fast, and have superior firepower. Clawcraft can be used in the same capacity as your E-Wings; either for modular support or planetary defence. However, I can take it one step further." Wedge raised an eyebrow, and Jag knew he had his unsolicited attention. "Over the past five years, one-third of our starfighters have been upgraded with advanced long-range sensors and in-flight mapping abilities. As you both know, the Chiss have been mapping the Unknown Regions for decades. I, myself, have taken part in a number of recent expeditions. I know what to look for, what kind of information you need. With the Vong setting up shop on Pyria VI, you're going to need as many fighters as you can get stationed here, and your E-Wings are suited for that purpose." He paused briefly, taking a deep breath. "Provide me with a map of Kesna and strategic points of interest marked on it, and I'll get the information you need in three days."  
  
Wedge nodded slowly. "A very interesting suggestion, Jag, but I don't see how sending twelve ships instead of five is going to be more effective. You said yourself that I need as many fighters here to aide in our defence."  
  
"I didn't say anything about sending twelve ships, sir." Before Wedge or Luke could interject, Jag went on. "Only two Clawcraft arrived from Hapes, as I'm sure you're aware. My second-in-command, Shawnkyr Nuruodo, is taking over the squadrons while I assist with your Twin Suns Squadron, and she will remain here. I'd go alone."  
  
He didn't think his uncle's eyes could pop so far out of his head, but Wedge surprised him. That initial shock was immediately erased with an expression that Jag couldn't decipher. However, Luke was the first to speak.  
  
"Our last recon to Kesna was six months ago. If the Vong are there, you run a very high risk of being detected, no matter where you jump in. If that happens, you could be captured or killed, and if you are captured, you'll be tortured and turned into one of their slaves."  
  
The intensity on the Jedi Master's face was chilling and for a brief moment Jag wondered if Luke had experienced one of those Jedi visions he had heard about. No, he's simply voicing a concern, one that I've thought about a lot while walking to this office. He returned Luke's stare, hoping he portrayed the same intensity. "That won't happen. I'd kill myself before the Vong got me."  
  
Wedge started to say something, but Jag interrupted before his uncle could get the words out. "There is an advantage to sending me alone, sir. The Vong have only encountered the Chiss on a handful of occasions, mostly during missions where we've assisted the New Republic. They know who we are, but for whatever reason they have yet to attack the Unknown Regions. Either we don't matter to them or they have something lined up for us later on. They know that we have aided you from time-to-time, yet they are smart enough to realize that we are not aligned with you."  
  
Wedge continued to stare at him with that unreadable look. It made Jag slightly uncomfortable. "Go on." His voice revealed no emotion.  
  
"If I go to Kesna on my own and there is a Vong fleet there, they will most likely consider me as a long-range scout for the Chiss, checking things out since they've taken Coruscant. There would be nothing in my ship's logs or my arrival that would indicate that I'm affiliated with your resistance group here, should my ship be captured. I'll plant false information to make them think I was nothing more than a long-range scout for the Chiss. I don't think they'll concern themselves too much with one fighter." He glanced at Luke, then back to his uncle. "You need all the support you can get to help defend Borleias. Why risk five ships and their support on a recon mission when you can risk only one? Your loss won't be as great if one ship goes down instead of five. I'm more expendable--"  
  
"No!" Wedge pushed himself up from his desk in one fluent motion, his action so swift the chair he was sitting in fell to the floor. "Don't ever say that again, Jagged! No one is more expendable than anyone else here. Not you, not me! I'm surprised to hear such talk coming from the son of Soontir Fel!"  
  
There was no mistaking the anger in Wedge's voice and it had the power to silence and reprimand at the same time. Jag stared wide-eyed up at his uncle. The expression on his face had an eerie resemblance to his father's. Wedge's eyes narrowed at they seemed to bore right through to his soul, and his lips pursed into a tight, angry frown.  
  
The silence blanketing the room was deafening. Jag could feel Luke's stare flitting between himself and Wedge. He rose from his seat, placing his hands palm-down on the desk. Whenever he'd had discussions like this with his father, it usually resulted in Jag becoming too impassioned and Soontir showing disapproval towards his son's pleas. He hoped things would be different with Wedge. He hoped his uncle would listen, instead of lecture him.  
  
He took a deep breath, locking stares with Wedge. " To the Chiss, knowledge is power. The more you know about your enemy, the better your chances of destroying them piece-by-piece before the eventual explosion. I don't need to remind either of you of Grand Admiral Thrawn." He paused briefly then continued. "The Chiss parliament and my father are not willing to make any commitments to the ongoing war because they don't know enough about the Vong yet to gauge how they will react. They are being cautious, and I have no problem with that. Caution is good. However, that is not what I want.  
  
"I have been a liaison between the New Republic, the Imperial Remnant, and the Chiss for a while now. I have engaged the Vong in only a handful of skirmishes. I have spent most of my time either performing recon missions or sitting in the Unknown Regions waiting for my next command--"  
  
"And that's a bad thing?" Wedge folded his arms across his chest, his expression softening, but only slightly.  
  
Jag sighed, lowering his head. He studied his hands and wondered how he could make his uncle see how much this recon mission to Kesna meant to him. He sighed again, bringing his gaze back to Wedge. This time he did not hide his feelings behind a mask of severity. If he was going to get his point across, he would have to appeal to his uncle's rebellious heart.  
  
"I feel as if I'm standing behind a transparisteel window. The Unknown Regions are behind me and the rest of the galaxy is in front. I'm watching everything fall down around me. The universe is changing; the Yuuzhan Vong are unleashing a plague that is destroying worlds, sentient beings, and here I am, safe behind my window. I have this sense of security because I'm behind the transparisteel, but that is nothing but a false belief. Soon, that window is going to develop a crack and then the Unknown Regions will be subjected to the same cruelty and debauchery as the rest of the galaxy. None of us are safe.  
  
"I feel as if I'm not contributing enough to the cause. Yes, I am joining your Twin Suns Squadron and yes, I have engaged the enemy on a number of occasions, but that's not enough for me. I need to do more. I have to do more. This is what I was trained for and I feel as if I'm being held back for some unknown reason." He leaned over the desk, still holding Wedge's stare. He was barely aware of movement to his right. Luke had risen from his seat and retreated to a corner of the room, granting them some privacy. "Please, uncle. Please. Let me do more. Let me do this one recon mission for you. I can get you the data you need. I may not be able to hit five systems at once, but I know what to look for, what you need. Three days is all I ask for."  
  
Wedge blew out a long breath, glancing away to look at some invisible point on the wall. He looked weary and saddened, his eyes losing some of their sparkle. He slumped visibly, turning his stare back to him. For a moment, Jag felt surprise wash over him. The anguish displayed plainly on the other man's face was something he had not expected.  
  
When Wedge spoke, his voice was quiet. "As a parent, we do everything in our power to protect our children from danger. It's easy when they're smaller because their fears are simple and easily disposed of. As they get older, they develop their own thought process, their own state of mind and it's harder for us to protect our children because they are able to make logical decisions on their own and defend themselves from danger. Still, it doesn't stop us from worrying about them, wanting to protect and to keep that danger away from them, like when they were small."  
  
He leaned forward and placed his hands on the desk, mimicking Jag's stance. The young pilot's heart sank as he truly listened to his uncle's words. He's not going to send me because I'm family. He struggled to keep his gaze focused on Wedge, but failed. He dropped his head, fixing his stare on his hands once again, waiting for the acknowledgement from Wedge that he would not be going to Kesna. Another failure to add to the unimpressive streak of disappointments that seemed to follow him lately.  
  
"Those feelings extend to you as well, Jag. Your arrival here adds a different level of concern. You're a damn good pilot and having you here to assist is something I am truly grateful for. However, no one can predict the outcome of our defence of Borleias. If something were to happen to you, not only do I lose a pilot, I lose a member of my family. I'm not a stupid man. I know that is a consequence of war, but that doesn't mean that I want a moment to come where I have to contact your family and tell your mother--my sister--that her third child is dead."  
  
Wedge sighed. There was another awkward silence and Jag suddenly wished that he had never come to Borleias. He'd prefer to stay in the Unknown Regions then stand here and listen to his uncle tell him he wasn't going on a recon mission simply because they were family. He stood up, drawing his hands away from the desk and allowed them to fall to his sides. He raised his head, focusing his stare beyond Wedge. He couldn't bring himself to look at his uncle. He didn't need to see his father's expression staring back at him.  
  
"If you truly feel that you need to do this, however, I will support you in any way I can."  
  
Jag's eyes flicked to Wedge. His uncle was studying him, his hands behind his back. His expression was still sombre, however there was no disappointment in his eyes. Jag couldn't have been more surprised by those words; he believed that Wedge wasn't going to allow him to go on this mission. "Excuse me?"  
  
A small grin tugged at the corner of Wedge's lips. "I can understand your feelings of inadequacy; knowing that you could do more but being restrained by a government that is unwilling to support you one hundred percent. I've been in that position myself, more times that I care to remember." He looked over to where Luke stood, then back to Jag. "I'm not thrilled about letting you do this, especially since we have no idea if the Vong are at Kesna. However, you have mentioned that you've been on assignments like this before, and I trust that you'll know when to get your ass out of there should trouble lay in wait."  
  
Wedge walked around the desk and stood next to Jag. He turned to face his uncle, the shock slowly leaving him. "You have three days, Jag. If you're not back in three days or if I have had no contact with you since then, I'll have to assume the worst. I can't afford to send people after you."  
  
Jag nodded, falling crisply back into formality. "I understand."  
  
He began to bow respectfully to Wedge, but that was immediately halted when his uncle pulled him into an embrace. He stiffened, not use to such displays of emotion, then hesitantly hugged Wedge back.  
  
"Come back safe, Jag." Wedge said, stepping away from him. "Don't give me that reason to contact your parents." He extended his hand to him.  
  
Jag shook the proffered hand. "I won't."  
  
"Good. You'll leave in the morning. Come see me one hour before your departure. I'll have a detailed map of Kesna ready for you." He turned away from him, walking back around to his desk. "Now, you should leave before I change my mind."  
  
He bowed to his uncle, even though Wedge still had his back to him. Jag turned and repeated the gesture to the Jedi Master. Luke grinned, executing a salute. Jag walked out of the office and when the door closed behind him, he leaned heavily against the wall. He had gone into the meeting unsure of Wedge would say, experienced a moment where he thought his suggestion had been shot down without any further thought, then was surprised by Wedge's decision to allow him to Kesna. His heart beat hard in his chest, and Jag felt as if had just finished running laps around the base's perimeter.  
  
Growing up, he had always thought of his father as his only true hero. Not so much because of his accomplishments, but because of the way he conducted himself during times of crisis. He had known about Wedge in his youth, knew about his uncle's endeavours through stories from his mother and the history lessons during his schooling. He knew that Wedge had been a hero with the Rebel Alliance and later on the New Republic, but he never fully understood why until now. He allowed a smile to creep onto his face as he began walking down the corridor. Most of the friends he had growing up didn't have a hero, it was something the Chiss didn't consider. The few that did, only had one to look up to. Jag didn't realize until know that he was fortunate to have two heroes. He only hoped that one day, he could be half the hero that Baron Soontir Fel and Wedge Antilles were.  
  
*** 


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep was not a friend to her this night. Jaina Solo stepped out of the biotics building and slowly made her way toward the landing grid. The last several weeks had been the hardest she'd experienced in her young life, and the dreams that came to her in the darkness of night did not offer comfort or a reprieve of the grief that had seized her heart. Admittedly, she had only tried to get some rest for about an hour after she had arrived on Borleias, after she'd had a meeting with Wedge Antilles about her purpose here. Her thoughts were divided, confused even, and that only helped to prevent any peace from entering her mind.  
  
Jaina glanced around at the technicians and mechanics who worked ludicrous hours, just to ensure the smooth running of the base. The distant sounds of heavy machinery echoed in the air, but for the most part Borleias seemed quiet tonight. That is, if you ignore the fact that there are still Vong warriors on planet. A sigh slipped from her lips as Jaina brushed stray strands of hair away from her eyes. The wind was warm and gentle and the sky above was as clear as a Corusca white gem. She thought about visiting her parents, but changed her mind as the memory of how she treated them on Hapes danced through her thoughts. She had been upset by Anakin's death; his funeral on Hapes still seemed surreal to her, and she couldn't face talking to her parents about Jacen because both of them believed he was still alive. The only one she felt she could talk to was Lowbacca, and the Wookiee had gone to his quarters right after their late night dinner, weary from the journey to Borleias.  
  
So, Jaina decided to head to the landing grid and seek out a technician who could direct her to the X-Wing that she would be flying while here. She loved being around starships, loved the chance to work on a craft every opportunity she had. Perhaps her ship would need some maintenance. That would keep her busy for a few hours, and hopefully by the time she was weary enough for sleep, she would be too tired to dream. Shoving her hands in the pockets of her flightsuit, Jaina quickened her pace, eager to become knee-deep in grease.  
  
A strong ripple in the Force momentarily surprised her and Jaina stopped a few meters short of the landing grid. The presence was powerful and familiar to her yet different from that of a Jedi. Her father and Wedge possessed this sort of energy, as well as a few others she knew, but this aura was neither of them. Jaina turned in the direction of this presence and after a few quick seconds of searching, she saw him.  
  
There were rare moments in her life where her breath had been taken from her. Jaina could count on her fingers the moments where she had been left speechless. The first time she used the Force. The first time her father let her help him work on the Millennium Falcon. The first time she flew among the stars. And this moment.  
  
The Chiss Clawcraft sat alone on a dimly lit platform just east of the main landing grid. The floodlights shone upon the starship as if it were some sort of prized statue. Standing to the right of the ship was its pilot, dressed in a black flightsuit with red piping on the sleeves and pants. His left hand rested on his hip, his right dangled by his side. His right foot was propped up on an irregular rock that seemed out of place in this perfect moment. Jagged Fel's face was turned slightly to his right, his head tilted upward toward the stars. The warm breeze played with his almost jet-black hair, the white lock above his right eyebrow falling repeatedly against his forehead then flying backward as if the wind took it on a private journey.  
  
Jaina knew that she shouldn't be staring at him. Anyone who happened along and saw her like this would probably enjoy spreading the word that she was practically drooling over the general's nephew. She reluctantly pulled her stare away, gazing at the ground, but her eyes soon sought him out again. He has no idea how handsome he is. The thought jumped out at her at the same moment Jag closed his eyes, raising his head a little higher, and Jaina's heart fluttered, an affect that Jag seemed to have on her every time she was near him.  
  
Her hands came out of her pockets, falling to her sides. She had never seen the young colonel so deep in contemplation. At least, he appeared to be. Jaina wanted to reach out and touch his mind, something she was now able to do because of their connection through the Force that established itself right before they left Hapes. Jag wasn't aware of it, of course, but Jaina could get a tentative hold of his thoughts and emotions. She changed her mind, not wanting to risk his ire should she probe his mind and he learned of it. He had agreed to fly under her command with Twins Suns Squadron and she wasn't willing to risk anything that could cost them an exceptional pilot.  
  
It seemed like a good time to thank him for his assistance with Twins Suns, yet at the same time Jaina didn't want to interrupt him. She brushed hair from her eyes again, and decided that if she didn't move in some direction within the next few moments, Jag would see her and suspect that she had been watching him.  
  
Jaina walked slowly toward Jag while at the same time trying to figure out the right words to say to him. They had barely spoken since they departed Hapes and she couldn't shake the feeling that he was unhappy with her. For what, Jaina didn't know, but she suspected it had something to do with the way she treated him on Hapes as well. I sure wasn't nice to a lot people in the last few weeks, she sighed. Her sudden change in attitude was not unexpected, having lost both her brothers, however her dabbling with dark side powers was a different matter. Somehow apologizing to those who expected more of her, like her parents, Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara... That was going to take more courage than she felt she had at this moment.  
  
She reached the Clawcraft and stopped behind Jag, slightly to his right. He opened his eyes but didn't turn to greet her. Jaina sensed a moment of brief annoyance from him, and he seemed distracted as well. Another emotion coursed through him, one she hadn't expected. Uncertainty? This isn't the first time I've sensed that from him. Jag was always in control of his emotions, his thoughts. A couple of times on Hapes she had sensed the same indecision from him, however then she knew where it was directed. He had been unsure of how to respond to her, and with good reason Jaina realized. She had provoked him into arguments on a couple of occasions and it had left him exasperated and herself with a feeling of victory over him. He was probably expecting another round of discussion and didn't want to bother with her.  
  
Jaina raised her head toward the stars, following the path that Jag's eyes had taken. The gentle breeze swirled around her, and yet again she had to push her hair back from her face. They stood silent for another moment, and she became aware suddenly that his stare had shifted to her. You better say something soon, Solo. The longer you stand here, the more stupid you're going to look.  
  
She cleared her throat, turning to meet his stare. Her heart jumped when she noticed the intensity of his gaze, his pale green eyes unblinking as he studied her.  
  
"I was going to check on my ship," she started, "when I noticed you standing here. I didn't get the chance before, but I wanted to thank you for agreeing to fly under my command with Twins Suns. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision for you."  
  
Jag blinked, erasing the impression that he had turned to stone, and his left hand fell from his hip to dangle at his side. "I can take orders as well as I give them. I have no problem with the prospect of flying under your command. I think my uncle's plan is a very intriguing one. I look forward to assisting him in anyway I can."  
  
Jaina nodded. At least you know that the reason for his uncertainty has nothing to do with his thoughts on your leadership abilities. Jag turned his stare back toward the sky, his eyes focusing on some unknown point among the stars. Jaina continued to watch him, noticed the taut movement of muscle as his jaw clenched.  
  
"I'm sure that whatever Wedge has in mind for our neighbours on Pyria VI is going to infuriate them royally. I'm glad that we can be a part of it." A small smile touched her lips at the thought of giving the Yuuzhan Vong a lot of hurt.  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Hmm? That's all you have to say?" She nearly laughed at his cavalier response. Jag Fel was not a man of few words.  
  
He nodded, not turning to her.  
  
Her brow furrowed as she watched him, not sure what to think of his sudden aloofness. Here she was trying to bridge the gap that developed between them on Hapes and he was practically ignoring her. She was almost tempted to just walk away without so much as another word to him. Something in his expression stopped her, though. Jaina studied his face yet again, the firm set of his jaw, the look in his eyes...  
  
...and suddenly realized that what she thought was contemplation moments ago was something entirely different. Jag was troubled about something. She sensed it immediately through the Force now that she recognized it, and that was probably the source of his distraction. Jaina silently cursed herself. Even through the Force you have trouble figuring this man out. What's up with that?  
  
Part of her knew that she should just go and leave Jag with his thoughts. After all, whatever was bothering him had nothing to do with her. Yet at the same time she told herself that, the words were already forming on her lips.  
  
"Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice soft.  
  
He finally turned to her, his sigh heavy and deep. "I was thinking about how my father will react once he learns of my presence here."  
  
"What's this? Colonel Fel is afraid of angering his father?" she teased, playfully poking him on the shoulder.  
  
"No. I'm afraid of losing his respect."  
  
He obviously surprised himself more than he did Jaina, for Jag's eyes widened and a tinge of colour hit his cheeks. That was an admission she had not been expecting. Although she hadn't been around Jag a lot since she first met him on Ithor, she knew enough about the man to know that he didn't normally let things get to him. He allowed the words of politicians to bounce off him as if he were made of rubber. He took her criticisms and taunts without ever being insulted by them. It had never occurred to her that the one person who could shatter his cool disposition was his father, General Baron Soontir Fel.  
  
There was a moment of awkward silence between them as Jaina tried to think of a response and Jag tried to look as if he hadn't said what he did. He ran a hand through his hair, messing it more than the wind did, then drew a long breath.  
  
"I can't believe I said that outloud."  
  
Jaina grinned. "I'm sure your father will be proud of you for making a stand here. I can't imagine why you would lose his respect when all you're doing is help fight against the Vong."  
  
He nodded slowly, looking back at her. Once again, he had the power to take her breath away. Jaina found it increasingly hard to look into those green eyes and not become swept away by the emotion she saw there. She fixed her stare on the scar that ran from just above his right eyebrow and back into his hairline.  
  
"My father and the Chiss parliament are unwilling to make any commitments to the war until they know more about the enemy. I'm suppose to be gathering tactical information, and I don't think my father will see my proactive stance here as a reconnaissance mission." He pursed his lips in a grim line. "It's complicated."  
  
Jaina thought about some of the decisions she had made recently, how they had affected others in her life and understood, on some level, what was going through his mind. Still, General Baron Fel was revered as a great tactical mind. Surely, he would understand Jag's decision to join Twins Suns, and respect that.  
  
"I doubt it's as complicated as you make it out to be." She smiled encouragingly, locking eyes with him once more.  
  
"I'm the only son he has left. You have no idea how much of a burden that is."  
  
Once again, shock washed over him and Jag looked away from her this time. Before Jaina could respond, could think of something to say to that, she sensed her uncle approaching them. Turning toward the biotics building, she groaned as Luke sauntered toward the platform. Great. I really didn't want to face him right now. 


	3. Chapter 3

Jag looked at her, puzzled, then noticed Luke's approach as well. He quickly fell back into his customary decorum, bowing reverently as the Jedi Master stopped in front of them.  
  
Luke smiled, acknowledging the salutation, then turned his gaze on Jaina. "I didn't get the chance earlier to welcome you to Borleias." he said, stepping forward and taking her in a hug. "It's good to see you, Jaina."  
  
She blushed, embarrassed, and quickly ended the hug. "It's good to see you, Uncle Luke. How did you know I was here?"  
  
"I didn't. We'll have time to talk later." Jaina sighed, knowing what that meant. *He'll want to talk to me about what happened on Hapes.* Luke smiled, turning to Jag. "I came to see Colonel Fel."  
  
"Oh." Curiosity pulsed through as she tried to figure out what Luke would want to speak to Jag about. To her knowledge, they had only met one other time before, on Ithor.  
  
Luke glanced at her. "It will only take a moment, then I'll leave the two of you alone."  
  
She was about to protest, but her uncle had already given Jag his full attention.  
  
"I just wanted to say how impressed I was with the way you conducted yourself in Wedge's office. If I didn't know better, I would think that there was a bit of politician in your blood."  
  
Jag scowled. "I hope not. I couldn't get my point across like that on a daily basis. I'd go insane."  
  
Luke chuckled. "I agree. That's why I leave the diplomacy to my sister." He paused, shoving one hand in his pants pocket. "I thought I'd stop by now, since I probably won't see you tomorrow before you leave. May the Force be with you, Colonel. Be safe out there." He extended his hand.  
  
"Thank you, sir. I will."  
  
Jaina watched the two shake hands, her curiosity growing tenfold. *Before he leaves? Tomorrow? What's going on...?* Recalling their conversation only moments ago, Jaina turned a hard stare on Jag. "Wait a second. Don't tell me that you're returning to the Unknown Regions? Is this because you don't want to face daddy's wrath?" A spike of anger and disappointment shot through her. "You committed yourself to Twins Suns and now you're abandoning us? How can you do that? I thought---"  
  
"Colonel Fel is not returning to the Unknown Regions." Luke interjected in that calm tone of his. "He is taking part in a reconnaissance mission to the Kesna Sector, and will be gone for three days. He will be returning in time to assist your squadron, Jaina."  
  
She looked at her uncle, embarrassed at her outburst, and immediately recognized the silent reprimand in Luke's stare. She felt Jag looking at her as well, and it wasn't hard to pick up on his displeasure. "Sorry."  
  
Jag nodded, his expression cool once again. "It was easy to assume that I was heading back to the Unknown Regions, considering our brief conversation. No need to apologize."  
  
*He's as handsome as he annoying.*  
  
Luke smirked and Jaina blushed again. She quickly recovered. "So, who's all going with you to Kesna?"  
  
"I'm going alone."  
  
"What?" Jaina nearly fell over as her stare flitted back between Luke and Jag. "Are you crazy?"  
  
"I think we've just concluded that if I were crazy, I'd be a politician." Jag responded., giving her the same hard stare she had executed only moments ago. "I have been on a number of solo recon operations and I know what to look for, how to gather critical data in a swift, effective way. I don't need any assistance."  
  
Jaina stared at Jag, then turned her disbelief on her uncle. "Isn't Kesna near Coruscant?"  
  
Luke nodded. "Yes, Kesna is near the Sesswenna Sector. We haven't had a scout there in six months and it's important that we find out if the Yuuzhan Vong are there, or have been there."  
  
"So, you're sending one flyer in to do the recon? That's ridiculous! What if the Vong are there? You have no idea what to expect." She turned back to Jag, wondering what could possess him to take part in this mission. She folded her arms across her chest. "And just how are going to survey an entire sector in three days?"  
  
"Colonel Fel and Wedge have come to a mutual agreement regarding this assignment. If you want the particulars, you'll need to discuss them with the colonel, here, or talk to Wedge."  
  
Again, she looked between the two men, and had the distinct feeling that there was more going on than either one of them was willing to divulge. She had known Wedge her entire life and sending one flyer on a recon to a sector that could be a potential hazard just didn't seem like something he would do. They were keeping the true reason from her and Jaina decided that if Luke and Jag were not going to share it with her, she'd find a way to get the truth from one of them. *And I know exactly how to do that...*  
  
Hoping she looked nonchalant, Jaina folded her arms across her chest and focused on Jag. "I'm going with you." *There. He'll have to tell me the truth to keep me from going.*  
  
His expression didn't reveal any of his thoughts. "No, you are not."  
  
"Yes, I am. The Rogues always travel with a few recon X-Wings. I'll take one of those."  
  
"I don't need any assistance."  
  
"Fine. I won't assist you then. I'll do my own scouting."  
  
She was satisfied when annoyance flowed from Jag. "That's ridiculous- --"  
  
"Isn't that what you're doing?"  
  
"That's different--"  
  
"How?"  
  
Jag sighed. "You have responsibilities to Twins Suns. You need to stay here."  
  
"You have a responsibility to them as well---"  
  
"You're the commanding officer---"  
  
"Kyp can take over while I'm away---"  
  
"---and your family needs you."  
  
Jaina blinked, surprised by Jag's remark. A mixture of anger and disbelief washed over her. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
He was surprised at her response and for a brief second, Jag was speechless. When he found his voice, his words came out low and soft. "Jaina, your family has suffered terrible losses. You've only been on Borleias for a few hours and now you want to leave again. Your immediate family is here; you need to spend time with them, to grieve---"  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!" She held back the temptation to slap him.  
  
Jag's voice resumed its clear, deep tone. "I am not telling you what to do. I am simply stating---"  
  
She stabbed at finger at him, unshed tears stinging her eyes. "No! You're dictating and no one tells me how to run my life! Don't you dare try to tell me what I should think, what I should feel---Why are you looking at us like that?!"  
  
At the same time she directed her question to Luke, Jag had turned his stare on the Jedi Master as well. Luke had been quietly listening to the banter between them and Jaina had just noticed the look of amusement on his face. His lips were curved into a smile, one that Jaina would define as mischievous. His gaze shifted between herself and Jag, his expression seemingly lost in deep thought.  
  
She didn't know which man in front of her irritated more right now.  
  
Poking her uncle in the shoulder, Jaina glared at him as Luke came back from wherever he was and blinked at her. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"  
  
"I asked why you were looking at us like that." she said, her arms falling to her sides. "That's the stupidest grin I've ever seen."  
  
Surprisingly, Luke laughed. "I was listening to the two of you and I was reminded of when Han and Leia first met." *And I don't need to tell you how that relationship turned out.*  
  
Jaina stared wall-eyed at her uncle, unsure if his reference to her parents shocked her or the thought he send in her direction. Next to her, Jag stiffened in surprise. He had obviously caught Luke's implication as well. His eyes were wide and a bright red suffused on his cheeks. She imagined she looked the same right now. Only seconds passed, but to Jaina, it seemed like hours.  
  
Jag was the first to break the awkward silence, turning to Jaina. He cleared his voice and spoke in a tone that was restrained, as if he were choking on every word he said. "I leave at oh-eight-hundred. Not a second later."  
  
"I'll be here." she replied unable to look him in the eye.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Without another word, Jag bowed quickly to Luke then left the platform, heading toward the barracks at lightspeed. Jaina couldn't think of anything to say to Luke, thoroughly embarrassed by his statement. She simply nodded and walked off toward the landing grid, intent on finding a recon X-Wing.  
  
She did her best to push all thought of her uncle and Jag from her mind even as her eyes found Jag and watched him retreat into the shadows.  
  
She knew on Hapes that something had changed regarding the way she felt about Jag Fel. Respect and admiration had always been there, but now another emotion buried itself deep in her soul, one she could not readily identify. There was no mistaking how beautiful he was, his determination mirrored hers and he possessed an intelligence similar to hers, and in some regards, even greater. She suspected there were other facets to him that she would never see, but was what she knew about him now enough? It seemed to be, for every time she saw him or was around him, her heart fluttered and all sense of logic seemed to disappear.  
  
Reluctantly, Jaina pulled her eyes away from him. She focused on the docking bay, anticipation settling deep within her. *This is going to be interesting.* 


	4. Chapter 4

Jag sat in the cockpit of his Clawcraft, reviewing the map of the Kesna Sector. His uncle had been detained in an early morning meeting and Colonel Celchu had brought the data tape to him before he joined his friend in the conference hall. He had already looked over the disk several times in the last fifteen minutes, but he needed something to distract him from the thoughts that had kept him up most of the night.  
  
Jaina Solo. The more he learned about her, the more confused he became. He couldn't understand why she wanted to join him on a recon operation when she could be spending time with her family. They were here and needed her, and she seemed to be doing whatever she could to avoid them. Jag sighed, leaning back in his seat. He had hoped to talk with his uncle this morning and plead with him to find a way to keep Jaina on Borleias. Ever since he met up with her again on Hapes, he had seen signs that she was becoming unstable. Her actions were reckless, her behaviour bordered offensive, and she seemed to delight in provoking arguments with him. The Jaina Solo he had met on Ithor seemed almost nonexistent.  
  
He understood that the grief of losing her brothers would change her, however he would have expected her to want to be with her family; to grieve as one and lean on each other for support. That didn't seem to be the case with Jaina and it was something Jag couldn't understand. Perhaps he would never figure her out. Maybe things simply were different in the New Republic; the way they fought, the way they lived, the way they mourned.  
  
Jag looked up from the readout of Kesna and was surprised to see Han Solo approaching. He jumped down from the cockpit and waited for the Alliance hero to join him. He recalled the only time he had met Jaina's father. It was on Hapes and Solo was on the receiving end of an assault by some of Ta'Chume's henchmen. He was fortunate to be able to help the veteran pilot, but since Solo had been unconscious at the time, he hadn't even had the chance to say "Hello."  
  
Jaina's father slowed his pace as he neared the Clawcraft, the infamous Solo grin on his face. Jag was about to execute a respectful bow, but Solo stopped him by extending a hand. Jag shook it and nodded his greeting.  
  
Solo glanced at the ship then back to Jag. "I never got the chance to say thanks for helping me on Hapes. If you didn't show up when you did, things could have gotten ugly."  
  
*And they weren't already?* Jag fought back a smirk, and matched the other man's expression. "I'm glad I was able to assist, although I admit I would have liked to have met you under better circumstances."  
  
Solo laughed. "Kid, most people who have met me, have under *those* circumstances."  
  
Jag blinked. *Did he just call me kid?*  
  
"Anyway, I just thought I'd come by and say that." Solo said, planting one hand on his hip. "Thanks." The grin never left the older man's face and Jag imagined that Solo was one of those people who could easily smile, a man who refused to let most things get him down. Even though he had suffered greatly since the war with the Yuuzhan Vong began, there was still a sparkle in his eyes.  
  
"You're welcome, sir." He placed his arms behind him, assuming a more casual stance. "Have your injuries healed?"  
  
"Yeah, for the most part. I still have aches and pains here and there but I don't know if that's the injuries or old age."  
  
"It's most likely the injuries."  
  
The two men exchanged conspiratorial smiles.  
  
Solo ran his other hand through his gray hair and something flickered in his eyes as he studied Jag. "So, how's Pops been lately?"  
  
Jag raised an eyebrow. "Pops?"  
  
"Your old man. How's Soontir doing?"  
  
"He's well, I suppose--You know my father?" Jag tried his best to keep the surprise from his voice, but judging from Solo's expression, he failed.  
  
"He never told you? Your dad and I were at the academy together. Not only that, but he flew around with me a few times when he was the New Republic."  
  
Jag nodded thoughtfully. He knew most of his father's history with the Empire and his reasons for joining Rogue Squadron back then, but he had learned long ago not to question his parents about those times. The few occasions he had asked even the simplest of questions, his father had reprimanded him for his curiosity and his mother had fought back tears.  
  
"He doesn't talk much about those days." He couldn't think of anything appropriate to say.  
  
"I can't really blame him." The grin faded from Solo's face as his thoughts, too, became reflective. His eyes became shaded and his thoughts appeared to consume him. There was a brief silence before Solo spoke again. "Listen, Luke told me that Jaina invited herself along on your recon mission."  
  
Jag grimaced. "Yes, sir. She's....persistent."  
  
"You don't need to be kind, Fel. She's stubborn." A long breath escaped him and Jaina's father suddenly looked old and tired. Jag guessed that Jaina's behaviour was affecting her parents in ways he'd never understand and he felt sympathy for them. They certainly didn't need any more pain in their lives.  
  
"Look, Fel. Jaina hasn't been herself lately. She's been careless and reckless and I can't figure out her motives for wanting to go on this recon with you. Over the last few weeks she's changed. She's different. Dangerous, even. Darker." Solo paused, sparing a glance toward the direction of the docking bays.  
  
He turned back to him, concern evident on his face. "My family can't stand any more heartache, Fel. Take care of my daughter out there, will you? Bring her back safe."  
  
"I'll protect her with my life." The response came to him without hesitation, an automatic response. He wondered at the ease of saying those words.  
  
Solo smiled. "Well, I don't know if you have to take it to *that* extreme, Fel. Just pull rank on her every now and then to keep her in line."  
  
Jag couldn't hide his smile. "I may just do that."  
  
"Good. Be careful out there." They shook hands again and without another word, Solo began walking toward the docking bays.  
  
Jag sighed. *This recon mission is turning out to be far more than I bargained for.* It wasn't the idea of heading into an unknown sector that bothered him, but the thought of being responsible for Jaina was an unexpected burden he'd now have to bare. Even before Han Solo had asked him to watch his daughter, he had recognized that her presence was something he could have done without. He'd have the added worry of her ever-changing mood to deal with as well as collecting data for his uncle. Jag blew out a long breath and turned back to his ship. *Maybe I'll get lucky and come down with a case of Cardooine Chills in the next thirty minutes and we'll have to stay behind.* Feeling as healthy as a rancor, he shook his head and began to pull himself back up into the cockpit.  
  
"Jaggie! Wait!"  
  
He froze in mid-step, feeling as if he'd been hit over the head with a blunt object. Jag blinked several times to make sure he was still conscious, then shook his head. Turning slowly, he looked to his right and spotted two dark-blond girls running toward him, followed closely by a slender woman with hair the same shade, only tinged with streaks of silver. *Jaggie?*  
  
The smallest of the two wrapped her arms around his ankle, her face turned up to him. Jag looked down and was greeted by sparkling blue eyes and a smile that could melt one's heart.  
  
"You can't leave without saying good-bye!" she said, her arms locked around his ankle with all the strength her little body had.  
  
"I'd laugh if he shook his leg and you went flying through the air!" the other girl said, standing just behind her sister, her blue eyes not quite as dark but just as dazzling.  
  
"That wouldn't be funny!"  
  
"Why wouldn't it be?"  
  
"Girls, that's enough. Let go of his leg, young lady."  
  
Jag looked at the woman, his actions sluggish and calculated. He felt as if were moving in slow motion. The woman smiled as she looked at the scene before her. The one that had been clamped to his leg let go of him and stood back, the smile never leaving her face, while the older girl moved to stand next to her mother.  
  
He climbed back down and stood facing them. Jag had never had the chance to meet his uncle's family during his tenure as liaison with the New Republic. His duties kept him away most of that time and when he was able to spend a few moments with Wedge, it was usually spent surrounded by military personnel. He did not like the feeling of awkwardness that swept over him.  
  
"I'm glad that we've finally had the chance to meet." Iella Wessiri Antilles said, placing a hand on the shoulder of each of her daughters. "This," she said, indicating the older girl on her right, "is Syal. And Myri, here," she patted the other's shoulder, "couldn't wait to come by and wish you good luck on his mission."  
  
Again, Jag felt is if he had been smacked on the head. He hadn't actually considered himself a cousin to anyone before, the only family he had ever known being his immediate one in the Unknown Regions. It was a strange thought.  
  
Myri moved closer to him as her eyes seemed transfixed on his face. "How did you get that scar on your head?"  
  
Iella looked apologetically at him. "Myri, you don't ask questions like that."  
  
"It's okay." He squatted down in front of Myri so he was eye level with her. "I crash landed my ship when I was younger and cut my head when I climbed out of the cockpit." He decided she didn't need to know the whole truth about that crash.  
  
"I bet that really hurt."  
  
"Yes, it did."  
  
"This is an interesting ship," Syal said, coming to his side, her small fingers gliding over the hull of the Clawcraft. "Is it of Imperial design?"  
  
Jag rose, smiling. Syal was probably around ten years old, yet she tried to sound as if she twenty. "Yes, it is. The specs are very similar to that of a TIE Interceptor and TIE Advanced."  
  
Her eyes danced as she slowly began to walk around the ship, doing her own private little inspection. "This is *so* cool!"  
  
A tug on his left arm brought his attention back to Myri, and as she continued to look at him with her wide, blue-eyed stare, she reached up and slipped her fingers around his hand. He stood dumb-founded for a moment, puzzled how this little person he barely knew could show such trust in him. Myri squeezed his hand, her smile growing as if she recognized his discomfiture and sought to ease it.  
  
Iella noticed it too and Jag felt his cheeks grow hot. He instantly decided he did not like being embarrassed so often in such little time. First Jaina, then Luke Skywalker, and now Iella and her children had the power to make him turn red.  
  
"You don't know how much your being here means to Wedge." Iella said, her voice soft.  
  
"I'm glad to assist him in any way I can---"  
  
"Not as a pilot. As family." She folded her arms across her chest, studying Jag with an intensity that unnerved him. Her eyes seemed to follow an invisible path from his hair, down along his jawline, over his nose, then back to his eyes. Her brow narrowed in thought. "Wedge says that he sees his sister in your eyes." Iella frowned a little, tilting her head to one side as she gauged his reaction. "How is your mother?"  
  
Jag suddenly wished that he were transported out of this moment. It was too awkward, too personal, and that was something he did not do very well. What could he say? That every time he visited, his mother would plead with him to stay home? That every time he looked at her, he saw a shadow of the woman she had once been? That tears came more easily than laughter? That the very thought of his mother sitting by the window, staring out towards the ocean , alone with her thoughts was enough to break his heart?  
  
He stiffened, gently pulling his hand free of Myri's and hoped that his expression didn't reveal any of his thoughts. "I haven't spoken with her in two months, however I imagine she is doing well."  
  
There was a brief silence before Iella spoke again, this time directing her words to her daughters. "Jag has to get ready to go, girls. Say your good-byes." The smile returned to her face and Jag nodded his head briefly, a silent thank you for not asking any more questions about his family.  
  
Syal completed her inspection of the ship and walked over, smiling as if she had found a new toy. Jag grinned; he had felt that way when he flew his first starfighter. "I'll tell you what, Syal. When I get back I'll take you for a spin around the base, if you like. We'll buzz your father's office a few times and scare him. How's that sound?"  
  
Her eyes widened with delight. "Really? That would be so cool! Thanks, Jag!"  
  
"You're very welcome."  
  
"When you get back, will you play dollies with me?" Myri's eyes lit up with anticipation.  
  
Jag made a face and ignored the look of amusement he saw on Iella's. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at playing dolls."  
  
Myri planted her little hands on her hips, her expression skeptical. "How can you not be good at that?"  
  
"Well, when I was younger," he began, feigning disappointment, "my sisters made me play dolls with them and every time I did, my boy dolls would end up tied to chair leg, missing an arm, or worse, their head. I didn't enjoy it very much."  
  
Both girls laughed. "That's funny! I'm going to do that to daddy next time he plays with me!"  
  
"I can't wait to see that." Iella said, grinning.  
  
"I know a lot of fun games that we can play. I'll teach you some of them when I get back, okay?"  
  
Myri wrapped her arms his leg again and hugged with all her might. "Thanks, Jaggie! Be careful!" She pulled back and started to skip merrily toward the barracks. Syal waved to Jag as she followed her sister.  
  
Iella stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "When you get back, I'd like it very much if you'll have dinner with us."  
  
"I'd be honoured. Thank you."  
  
"May the Force be with you, Jagged. Be safe." Iella turned to follow her daughters, waving over her shoulder.  
  
As Jag watched them leave, his brow furrowed in thought. He wasn't accustomed to a send-off when he went away on assignments. He was usually surrounded by the other pilots in his squadron, tech crews, and on occasion, his father and high-ranking members of the Chiss military. There were only a few times where his mother and sisters had come to watch him leave, but those moments were rare; his mother never being able to watch her son prepare to go to battle.  
  
Iella and his cousins had come to wish him luck on simple recon mission. It seemed natural to them, their good-byes were casual yet their wishes for a safe journey heartfelt. It was only a few brief moments, but to Jag, it was something that he would never forget.  
  
He turned back to the ship and was surprised to see Jaina standing a short distance way, her stare fixed on him. He had a feeling that she had witnessed some, if not all, of his visit with Wedge's family. He sighed, not wanting to waste any more energy and being embarrassed and as he pulled himself up into the cockpit, he glanced at Jaina out of the corner of his eye and thought he saw her smile. 


	5. Chapter 5

Jaina turned away and began walking to the docking bays, the smile still illuminating her face. If there was one thing in life right now that had the power to erase the misery from her soul, it was watching Jag become embarrassed. It was a situation she was not use to seeing him in and the look on his face when Myri Antilles grappled his ankle was priceless. Although she hadn't heard what was said between Iella, the children, and Jag, she had sensed his emotions change from utter surprise to uncertainty and to amusement. It was sweet to see Syal and Myri accept him as family without question, but it was sweeter to watch Jag shift uncomfortably when Myri took his hand and smiled her most charming smile at him.  
  
She wondered why people seemed to be able to connect with Jag. He didn't present himself as socially accessible, yet he was able to relate to those he met. Perhaps it was because he treated every being as an equal; respected the culture and attitudes of different races better than most because humans were in minority among the Chiss and he had experienced both ends of the spectrum. Or maybe people feared him because of his relationship to the Chiss and his belief in Grand Admiral Thrawn's philosophy. Or maybe it was as simple as people recognizing him as a leader, a new face to turn to or count on during this dreaded war. Perhaps there were those who saw his presence as a sign of things to come and offered him respect and kindness because of a possible alliance with the Chiss in the future.  
  
Her thoughts on that matter got her to thinking about why she was so drawn to Jag. Jaina sighed, and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. She really didn't know him that well yet her feelings for him were so strong it had the ability to make her think of him at the most inopportune times. There was no mistaking the beauty of him, and the fact that he wasn't aware of his physical power only made him more attractive.  
  
It wasn't just his face that was handsome. His flightsuit and dress uniform seemed tailor-made to hug his body, to highlight every line and curve of muscle. Jag wasn't built like an Askajian body builder, but he had a wiry muscularity that befitted him as a pilot. The first thing Jaina noticed about him after she managed to tear her eyes away from his face was that he had nice arms. When he had shaken hands with Admiral Kre'frey at Ithor, she was acutely aware of the sensual shape of his bicep. Jaina felt her cheeks warm and hoped that it was usually hot on Borleias today.  
  
Forcing herself to think beyond Jag's good looks was difficult, but she managed to find other reasons for her attraction to him. He was intelligent and earnest. He was strong enough to admit to his mistakes and he wasn't afraid to make a stand against something he deemed unjust. He was an excellent leader; someone who could be trusted to get the job done. There wasn't any appropriate words to describe his ability as a pilot. He simply was amazing.  
  
Jaina frowned. *Those are great qualities to have but when you think about it, you really don't know him. What about the character of the man?* It was an odd thought to know that in the short time she had known Jag she really didn't *know* him. She knew *what* he was, but *who* was he? She knew nothing about his background except that he was raised among the Chiss and that he was the son of a holo star and the greatest TIE pilot the Empire ever had. The few moments they spent talking the night before saw Jag unwittingly reveal a piece of his complicated relationship with his father. It was a rare moment, as if he had been trained to hold his emotions and thoughts close and was suddenly given a chance to let them free.  
  
"Hey! Watch where you're going!"  
  
She had been so engulfed in her thoughts that Jaina hadn't even noticed she'd already entered the docking bay and was on a collision course with Kyp Durron. He was standing at the nose of the recon X-Wing she'd be flying, dressed in civilian clothes, and looking as if he was ready to cause mischief. His green eyes sparkled, a grin planted firmly on his face. Jaina groaned as she picked up on an unexpected exuberance in Kyp's presence and wondered what kind of trouble he'd gotten himself into this time.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.  
  
Kyp ran his fingers through his hair, the grin on his face widening. "I heard you're heading out with Fel."  
  
Jaina sighed. *Isn't anything on this planet classified?* "Yeah. And?"  
  
"And I just wanted to stop by and wish you a safe journey."  
  
She blinked, folding her arms across her chest. Kyp mirrored her stance, and the playfulness surrounding him seemed to increase tenfold. "You're not going to try and stop me from going? You're not going to tell me this is a mistake?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. You're a big girl. I know you can take care of yourself."  
  
A smile touched the corner of her lips. "I'm glad someone thinks so."  
  
"Besides, with all the commotion going on here, I can understand why you'd want to get away to be along with Fel. There's no privacy here."  
  
Jaina's jaw dropped and a rush of embarrassment and anger surged through her. She attempted to glare at Kyp but her eyes were still wide from shock. Kyp looked triumphant as he planted his hands on his hips, a laugh bubbling in his throat. When she found her voice, it was hoarse and trembling. "What does *that* mean?"  
  
"Oh, c'mon!" Kyp snorted. "Why do you think he came here?"  
  
"To help his uncle in the defence of Borleias!" Her hands dropped to her sides and balled into fists. *He is so dead...*  
  
"Well, that may be *one* reason."  
  
Jaina fought back the urge to send a blast of force lightning in his direction and having picked up on her thoughts, Kyp's smile faded, but only slightly. It hadn't gone unnoticed since they departed Hapes that Kyp's opinion of Jag had changed somewhat and the two seemed to be getting along better than she thought they would. She wondered why, all of a sudden, Kyp was an advocate for Jag.  
  
*The rank you were born with suits you very well. Anything more would be redundant.* That brief conversation on Hapes came flooding back to her and the sudden realization that Jag's feelings for her would never be returned hit Jaina like a ton of bricks. She instantly shielded her thoughts from Kyp, not allowing him the chance to feel her pain yet again.  
  
"You have no idea what you're talking about." she finally said. "Jag made it clear that I don't fit into his future plans."  
  
Kyp tilted his head and studied her, his expression skeptical. "He said that?"  
  
"Not in so many words, but the intent was there."  
  
"Don't listen, Jaina. *Feel."*  
  
Despite the fact that her relationship with Kyp had been tumultuous as of late, the older Jedi had never swayed from being a true friend to her, someone she could talk to and someone she could count on to be honest with her. She had known him almost her entire life and over the years she had thought of him as an extended member of the Solo family; the older brother in many ways.  
  
He was looking at her in a manner that was similar to Jacen when he was concerned about her. She felt a lump form in her throat and Jaina blinked back the tears before they could break through her barrier. *I will not think about Jacen or Anakin right now. I have important things to do. I need to keep it together.*  
  
"I know that things have been tense between you and Fel." Kyp was saying. His hands fell to his sides. "I saw how the two of you behaved around each other on Hapes. You have to remember, however, that he was raised differently than us. He's not open to his emotions like we are and it may be harder for him to express what's on his mind."  
  
Again, she was surprised at Kyp's words. This time, she couldn't keep her thoughts to herself. "Since when did you become the poster boy for Jag? Did he say something to you?" A little spark of hope danced in her heart.  
  
Kyp smiled, a gesture that brought out some of the youthfulness and innocence that lingered within. "Next time you have a conversation with him that doesn't involve piloting skill or battle tactics, don't just listen to what he says, Jaina. *Hear* what he means. *Feel* him. You may be surprised." He winked, reaching out to touch her arm gently. "May the Force be with you. Be safe out there."  
  
Jaina watched as Kyp turned and left the docking bay, a light bounce in his step. Since Hapes she had watch Kyp become a different person, or perhaps he was finding his way back to the man he had once been. She nodded thoughtfully, hoping that was the case. He was such an integral part of her life, a member of her extended family, that she didn't want a moment to come where he, too, was gone. Aside from Lowbacca, Kyp was the closest thing to a confidante she had right now.  
  
"Your mother and I were expecting you to join us for breakfast this morning."  
  
Jaina turned around and greeted her father with a curt nod. She wasn't ready to talk with her parents yet. There was so much left unspoken between them that she didn't know where to begin. *When I get back from Kesna then maybe I'll be ready to talk to them. Not now. I need to stay focused for this mission.* "I didn't know I was expected. Sorry."  
  
Han narrowed his stare, a look Jaina was all too familiar with. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Doing what?" she asked, feigning ignorance.  
  
"Don't act stupid with me." Her father's voice was low but harsh. She sensed simmering anger course through his presence along with a surge of disappointment. She pretended not to notice. "You don't need to go on this recon."  
  
She straightened, her own ire rising. "Despite the fact that everyone seems to think that Jag Fel is invincible, this recon is too much for one person to handle. Wedge needs information and I intend to help get that for him."  
  
Han smirked. "And here I thought you were avoiding your mother and I."  
  
Jaina took a step toward him, her thoughts suddenly becoming clouded. She hated that her father knew her so well. "If you want to believe that, go right ahead."  
  
"Don't use that tone with me, young lady!" His voice raised and Jaina was aware that several technicians had stopped to watch them. Han's fingers balled into fists and Jaina saw the side of her father that many still feared, even after all these years. "You're not the only one who has suffered in the last few weeks, Jaina, so stop acting as if you're the only one who matters."  
  
She was too stunned to reply to that comment and coming from her father it hurt more than she expected. Over Han's shoulder she saw her mother approaching and decided that now was a good time to get out of this conversation. Her emotions were in a tailspin and she couldn't deal with anything that intense right now. Her mind had to stay clear and focused for this recon and fighting with her parents was not going to help.  
  
Jaina shoved past him and climbed the ladder. "I have to finish my pre- flight. Jag wants to leave at oh-eight hundred and I'm running late." She pulled herself down into the cockpit and read the data the astromech droid seated behind her scrolled up on the display screen.  
  
Han turned and glared up at her. He was still angry with her, but she sensed his concern as well. "This conversation is not over, Jaina."  
  
"Bye, Dad." With that, she lowered the canopy, cutting herself off from the rest of the clatter of the docking bay.  
  
She saw her father turn and walk away from the X-wing, his hand running quickly through his hair as he stopped Leia before she approached the ship. She looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment on her mother's face and stared at the console. She had already finished her pre-flight earlier and she suspected that Han was aware of that too, but thankfully he didn't push the conversation any further. Leaning back against the seat, Jaina closed her eyes.  
  
*Take care of yourself, Jaina. May the Force be with you. I love you, precious.*  
  
A single tear slipped past her barricade and streamed down her cheek.  
  
"Lieutenant Solo? Are you there?"  
  
She swatted at her wet cheek then opened her eyes, turning on the comm with her other hand. "I'm here, Jag."  
  
"We've been cleared for departure. I'm on my way up now. I'm transmitting the coordinates and we'll jump once you clear the atmosphere."  
  
"Acknowledged." She switched off the comm and put her helmet on as the R2 unit brought the engines online. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her parents standing some distance away. Han's arm was around his wife's shoulder and Leia had placed a hand over her husband's heart. A small smile lit her mother's face, lending her grace at a moment that undoubtedly broke her heart every time she witnessed her daughter take off on an assignment.  
  
Jaina felt pride, worry, and sadness pass between her parents and realized that their emotions echoed hers. They would definitely need to talk once she returned to Borleias. She didn't look at them again as she prepared to leaving the docking bay but she no longer wished to ignore them. They were her family. They were all she had left.  
  
*I love you too, Mom.* 


	6. Chapter 6

There once was a time when she loved travelling through hyperspace. There was something about the mottled realm of space outside the viewport that always fascinated her; that would draw her in and take on her a mystical journey through a place where imagination soared.  
  
Now, Jaina dreaded it. She hated the moments that she was forced to be alone with her thoughts. There was no where to retreat, no where to direct her attention. The trip to Kesna was only a four hour journey but it seemed so much longer when she had nothing else to do but think about her life and how drastically it had changed since the Yuuzhan Vong invaded her galaxy.  
  
So instead of drowning herself in memories of what she had lost and what she still may lose, Jaina tried to figure out exactly why she was sitting in a recon X-Wing travelling to a sector of space that was most likely uninhabited, with a man who confused her more than a simple spin at a Jubilee Wheel.  
  
She had never intended to go to Kesna with Jag. She only wanted to know why the Chiss commander and her uncle where so secretive about his mission. She didn't like being left out of such important issues, especially when a member of her own family was keeping something from her. She still wasn't convinced that they had told her the truth and perhaps spending three days with Jag would reveal the true nature of his purpose here.  
  
*Or after three days, we'll end up wanting to kill each other.* A small smile creased her face. Finding out why Jag had planned to come to Kesna on his own was not the reason she was following him, though. So, why was she here? Perhaps her father was right and she was trying to avoid them. It didn't make much sense though, travelling to a different sector of space just to avoid her family. She could have done that easily on Borleias by simply being elsewhere on the base.  
  
Gathering information that Wedge could use against the Vong was definitely an incentive to want to go on this recon. However, there was no guarantee that they would discover anything, considering the fact that most of Kesna was desolate.  
  
Perhaps she wanted to be near Jag now that her feelings for him were blossoming into something new and different from anything else she had ever experienced. Jaina leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. She had done little else but think of Jag since he arrived at Hapes and she thought that she wouldn't see him again after they left there. Now he was flying under her command with Twins Suns.  
  
*Why do you think he came here?* Kyp's question came back to her and Jaina found herself wondering about the answer. Why was Jag here? Was there more to his wanting to assist Twins Suns than just his commitment to the war and his uncle? She sighed. *Kyp must be having delusions if he thinks Jag is here for me. And, even if Jag does have feelings for me, he hides them extremely well.* Perhaps she came along on this recon to try and get to know him better, to try and learn exactly what it was that Jag felt towards her.  
  
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, vaguely aware that the chronometer was counting down the minutes they would be exiting hyperspace. As interesting as it was to find all the reasons she thought she had come along on this mission, the real reason was the exact one Jaina had been trying to forget about.  
  
Chewbacca. Anakin. Jacen. Her home. Coruscant. Ithor. Yavin. Her innocence.  
  
Jaina felt the slight prick of rage spread across her soul. Everything that she had lost. *No, not lost. Everything that has been taken from me.* If she stayed on Borleias, waiting for her next set of orders, she would have time for three things. One would be to meet and greet with the other pilots of Twins Suns and spend time getting to know them and work with them. Two would be to spend time with her family, and the third would be to take the idle moments that she wasn't doing the first two to think about her brothers.  
  
The problem with getting to know the other pilots was the fact that it would suddenly become personal, and if one of them should die, it would be painful. It would be another face, another friend gone from the fight. Or, if she should die, they would mourn her as well. There was already enough tears shed since the Vong invasion and if Jaina could spare herself and others any more grief, she would.  
  
Spending time with her family was something she knew she couldn't avoid, but at this moment, she couldn't be with her family in the way they needed her to be. Her parents still believed that Jacen was alive, and as much as Jaina wanted to believe that, there was nothing to convince her otherwise. She had felt his departure from the Force through the other Jedi and it was so definite, it couldn't have been anything else but his death. She couldn't be surrounded by hope, especially when there was no reason to believe in it anymore.  
  
She couldn't think about Jacen or Anakin. She needed to stay focused if she was going to survive this war and she couldn't allow her grief to consume her and prevent her from doing what needed to be done. She would shed her tears and share her pain when the fighting was over, but not now. She didn't want to cry. She would not cry.  
  
A warning from the chronometer pulled her from her thoughts, and Jaina straightened in her seat, blocking out any further thought except for that of her mission. Checking all her systems quickly and acknowledging the scrolling text on her readout from her R2 unit, Jaina made the reversion to realspace.  
  
They dropped out of hyperspace near the planet Drognan, in the system of the same name. There were only five other planets in the system and of all the systems in the Kesna sector, it was the closest to the space lanes used from travelling to the Sesswenna sector. A brief detail of the geography of Drognan scrolled on her screen, courtesy of the R2 unit. Jaina noted that two-thirds of the planet was covered in snow and was thankful that she wouldn't have to scout out the surface. She glanced outside her viewport, looking for the Clawcraft, and was happy to note that it wasn't beside her. *He should be contacting me right about...*  
  
"Lieutenant?"  
  
*...now.*  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Those are not the coordinates I sent to you before we jumped. Why are you one thousand kilometers away from me?"  
  
"Why does it matter?" she replied sweetly. "You didn't even want me on this mission."  
  
"I never said that I didn't want you to come along." Jag said, the same mock innocence in his voice. "I simply stated that I didn't need any assistance. There is a difference."  
  
"Only in the way you word it." A smirk creased her face as she sensed Jag's annoyance. It was extremely strong given the distance between them. Jaina guided her X-Wing slowly toward Drognan, if for no other reason than to bug Jag. "So I deviated a little bit from the original course. It's not like we are not going to get any work done."  
  
There was a short burst of static. "That's not the point. When I give an order or issue directives, I expect them to be followed. So, here is what we are going to do. I am going to wait right here, at our original coordinates." Jaina noticed the blip on her heads-up display indicating Jag did not move from its location. "You are going to form up on my position and once you have done that, we will continue with our mission. Now, snap to it."  
  
Jaina glared out the viewport in Jag's direction, irritation suddenly coursing through her veins. "I have a better idea. I'm here. You're there. You can finish scanning this system and I'll take a short cut around Drognan to Torvis Prime and recon that system. I'll meet you at Ro'shara in, oh, three days?" She imagined the look on Jag's face and smiled despite her ire.  
  
"If you give orders in the same manner in which you take them, we are not going to last two seconds at Borleias."  
  
Jaina bristled in her seat. "Why you condescending---"  
  
An abrupt jolt to her ship's portside sent the X-wing teetering slightly and the R2 unit twittered anxiously. She checked her systems and was thankful to note that she hadn't taken any damage. "What was that?" she asked her astromech. The reply she got was a droid equivalent to bewilderment.  
  
"Lieutenant, is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm not sure." she replied. Another brief jolt and again, the X-Wing rocked slightly. "I think I hit something."  
  
There was a short pause. "It could have been a gravity pocket, given your proximity to Drognan."  
  
"Maybe, but it didn't feel---" She was interrupted as the X-Wing was jostled around again. This time, however, the systems winked out for a moment, and when they came back on, she stared at the report on her readout. "Um, I don't know what happened here, but I've just lost twenty- eight percent power to all systems."  
  
"I'm on my way." At the same time he spoke, Jaina noticed the blip on the HUD turn in her direction.  
  
Another blow, this time against the nose of the ship. She stared at her readout and sighed, confused. "My forward sensors are gone and I've lost thirty-three percent power to all systems."  
  
"I'm getting no energy readings from the planet and there are no signs of ships in system." Jag's tone was calm and controlled as always, however Jaina did pick up on his concern through the Force.  
  
She attempted to direct herself toward Jag, but a thunderous *pop* and another sudden jolt stopped her. Jaina kept a steady hand on the stick at the same time Drognan seemed to be filling her cockpit. She was moving closer to the planet than she had originally intended. She cut her throttle back slightly and was greeted again by a *thump* against the hull. This time, however, the X-Wing bucked under her control and she noticed wisps of smoke outside her cockpit at the same time the R2 unit screeched at her.  
  
"Forty-two percent power gone from all systems." She stared incredulous at the readout. "And I've lost my number three engine?" Jaina read the data again, her heart pounding hard in her chest. "R2, what happened? What did we hit?"  
  
Jag responded before the astromech. "It could be proximity mines. They're too small to detect in most cases. You may have reverted from hyperspace directly into a mine field."  
  
Jaina blinked. "A mine field? Here? This system is deserted!"  
  
"A freighter may have dumped its cargo in passing or Drognan may have been under blockade and the mines are left over from that. It's hard to say."  
  
There was a short moment of silence as Jaina weighed her options. If she had indeed wandered into a mine field, there was no telling how many there were and where a clear path to safety was. She could cut what little power she had left back to one-third and try to drift out of harm's way. There was no guarantee that would work for it seemed that every collision her X- Wing had with a mine, she was effectively being disabled.  
  
Nodding to herself, Jaina diverted some of the energy from the lasers to the engines. "There is no way I can operate on only fifty-eight percent power. I'm going to set down on Drognan and do some repairs. You can go ahead without me. I'll catch up."  
  
"You will not land on Drognan, Lieutenant." Jag's voice came back crisp and clear. "The closer you get to the planet, the further you go into the mine field. Veer off to vector one-one-dash-two-niner and return to Borleias."  
  
Angry and disgusted with this sudden turn of events, Jaina pounded a fist on the console. "I am not going to pull out of this mission! It will only take me a few hours to make some repairs to my systems, and it's not like I haven't flown on three engines before. I am going to fini---"  
  
A tremendous blow to the X-Wing aft section silenced her further. The ship started to shake uncontrollably and Jaina struggled to regain control of the craft. The cockpit went dark and fear gripped her as she realized that she had lost all power and was spinning out of control. The planet's gravity seemed to reach up and grab the X-Wing, pulling it ruthlessly toward Drognan.  
  
Seconds later, the lights flickered in the cockpit as Jaina continued to fight for control of her ship. She heard Jag's voice come over the comm, but it was faint and full of static.  
  
"....spiralling toward Drog.....almost there.....The...appear to be cloa...."  
  
An explosion rocked the ship and the intensity of the blow pulled her back hard against the seat. A squeal from the R2 unit was silenced and just as it looked as if some power was being restored to the X-Wing, the engines winked out, the cockpit when dark once again, and Jaina suddenly found herself plummeting toward Drognan. 


	7. Chapter 7

"What happened? You're spiralling toward Drognan." Jag could see the faint outline of Jaina's X-Wing as he closed in on her position. He was less than two hundred kilometers away, however the unsteady path the ship took toward the planet was a clear indication that something had gone terribly wrong. "I'm almost there, Lieutenant. We'll find a safe way to get you out of there. Wait." He noticed a spark of energy just before an explosion rocked the X-Wing. *What the---?* "The mines appear to be cloaked. Hold your position---"  
  
A garbled burst of static was the only reply he received and he watched stunned as the X-Wing began descending wildly toward the planet. The Clawcraft was already going at top speed, but Jag exchanged lasers for engines and managed to give himself an extra burst of speed. He focused on the ship, trying to keep a lock on its position as it disappeared into Drognan's atmosphere.  
  
The only way he was going to get to the planet was to fly on the same vector Jaina had, bringing himself right into the mine field. The only advantage he had, if he could consider it one, was that he would be moving much faster than Jaina had and he may be able to avoid a great deal of damage. Then again, he could fly into a cluster of proximity mines and never know what hit him until it was too late. He threw caution out the exhaust port; getting to Jaina was his only concern. If she was injured, well, it was going to be an awkward journey back to Borleias in the confines of his cockpit.  
  
As he neared the planet, he cut his engines, but only slightly. There was no telling how big the mine field was and considering the fact that the mines appeared to be cloaked, it was going to make manoeuvrability more delicate. He allowed himself to briefly consider the strategy behind this ploy and guessed that the mines were leftovers from the glory days of the Empire. Perhaps they had been used to block Rebel passage to Coruscant during the early stages of the Galactic War. He pushed the thought out of his mind. He would have time to consider that later.  
  
He was within one hundred kilometers of the planet, almost on the last position Jaina's X-Wing had been at. Jag decided that his best chance of finding her would be to follow the path her ship appeared to have taken. A burst of static stung his ears and he sighed with relief as Jaina's voice flooded the comm.  
  
"Jag, can you hear ...damaged....trying to re-route..."  
  
"I can hear you, but not very well. Have you managed to get power to your engines? What's your status?" He couldn't tell if she was wounded or not.  
  
"...no engines but I've managed to...storm...snowing really har...can't see very well."  
  
No engines. "I'm going to try and follow your path planetside. I still have a lock on your position. I should be there---"  
  
"No....too dangerous....I've been...lightning...going down..."  
  
A fear like no other seized him and Jag diverted some of his shield power to the engines. He had to get to her. He was not going to lose her on this mission, and certainly not to something as small as a damned proximity mine. His normally calm composure faltered but Jag forced himself to be relaxed. He didn't want Jaina to pick up on his growing concern.  
  
"You're going to have to eject. I've got a fix on your current position and I won't have a problem finding you if you eject now."  
  
"Are you crazy? It's....freezing...not prepared for tha...."  
  
He understood her worry. From what he gathered of Jaina's description, there was a massive snow storm blowing around down there. "You won't be left out in the cold for long. I'll come down and get you and we'll head back to Borleias."  
  
There was a moment of silence and Jag thought he had lost communication with her. When she spoke again, her voice was strong, but the connection was still poor. "A pilot....never abandons their...can crash this thing safe...."  
  
"Now is not the time to argue with me, Lieutenant. You will abandon your X- Wing now!" He thought about Han Solo's joke about pulling rank on Jaina if she gave him any trouble and found it ironic that he had to do just that to keep her out of trouble.  
  
Another moment of silence and Jag had the sickening feeling that she was going to disobey another one of his orders. Sighing deeply, he spoke with an uncustomary gentleness, one he did not use when talking to his pilots. "Jaina, you have to abandon your ship. There's no other choice." He was surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded. "I'll come get you. I promise I won't leave you---"  
  
"Ejecting now!" Her voice was frantic.  
  
He pushed all other thought from his mind and headed toward Drognan with a tenacity befitting a rancor on a rampage. Jag punched his way along the path Jaina had taken and he knew instantly that he should have been more cautious.  
  
An impact shook the Clawcraft and the ship spun dizzily out of control. He pulled back on the stick and expertly levelled off, steadying himself. He was pushed hard against his seat and felt the ship lurch underneath him. He was suddenly going much slower than before. He scanned his readout and noticed something disturbing. The Clawcraft had sustained no external damage, yet his shields were down to fourteen percent and he had lost two- thirds power to all his systems. Puzzled, he double-checked his readings.  
  
Jag narrowed his stare in thought. His ship had sustained only internal damage. All of his systems were reading loss of energy and he was only running on one-third power. It was as if he had been hit by a blast from an ion cannon. *But there are no ion cannons on Drognan. There were no energy readings at all when I got hit.* A sudden thought came to him and he cursed to himself.  
  
He had learned a long time ago that during Grand Admiral Thrawn's tenure with the Empire, his forces had encountered a small group of modified B- wings that had the capability of rendering starfighters and capital ships defenceless by disabling their systems while causing little damage, if any, to the hulls. The tactic had been effective, if only for a short time, and Grand Admiral Thrawn had managed to capture a B-wing and he had the MagPulse technology researched. For whatever reason, he had not used the weapon extensively during his fight with the New Republic.  
  
It made sense to Jag now. Thrawn had not only had the MagPulse technology, but he had his own cloaking devices as well. He had used cloaked ships and asteroids during his attack on Coruscant. The proximity mines were not only cloaked, they were accompanied by some sort of ion mine based on the MagPulse technology. Drognan could have been a testing area for Thrawn or one of his ships could have dumped its cargo while leaving Coruscant. That could explain why Jaina had suffered external damage to her X-Wing while at the same time slowly becoming disabled.  
  
*And I've just become a victim of the same fate.* He had little energy to his lasers and his shields and Jag diverted every bit of it to his engines. Because he was only running on one-third power the time it would take for him to get to Jaina was increasing. He didn't know what the conditions on Drognan were like, however from Jaina's description it didn't sound good. Fortunately, the Clawcraft had been close to the planet when it was hit and Jag was already entering the atmosphere.  
  
"Jaina, talk to me." He hoped that she would still be able to hear him over her helmet's internal comm. He waited a moment, concentrating on his descent through the uppers levels of the atmosphere. "Jaina? If you can hear me, I'm on my way. I've taken a bit of damage, but it's nothing I can't fix. We'll get the ship up and running at full power than head back to Borleias. Hold on, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes." He ignored that fact that they'd have to fly back through the mine field just to get a clear jump to Borleias.  
  
Jag tried to push the growing dread from his mind but it seemed desperate to consume him. He'd had a lock on the X-Wing's position but it had disappeared on his HUD. Jaina would have manually had to eject from the ship, but he didn't know where she was. The fact that she wasn't talking back to him only made it worse. He didn't know if she had made it clear of the X-Wing, or if she had been injured and couldn't communicate. He hoped that the only problem was that the comm had malfunctioned.  
  
The Clawcraft had cleared the upper levels of Drognan's atmosphere, but Jag didn't have time to get his bearings for a sudden blazing bolt of lightning struck the ship. The Clawcraft rocked viciously and because he had diverted all power from shields to engines, the blow to his hull felt ten times worse than it should have. Jag flattened his suddenly chaotic path and saw on his console one of his engines had taken damage.  
  
Outside the cockpit, a violent storm enveloped Drognan. Snow and freezing rain pelted his viewport and the wind that engulfed the Clawcraft had the strength to pull the ship in a multitude of directions. He struggled to keep a straight course as another bolt of lightning struck a tree to his left. Jag rolled the ship hard to its right, the movement pushing him forward in his restraint. A crack of thunder echoed around him and he was thankful it was nature making that awful noise and not his ship. The strain of the winds buffeting it back and forth and Jag trying to prevent it from smacking into trees was more tension that the ship was accustomed to.  
  
The freezing rain and snow made visibility near zero and the surface of the planet was suddenly coming upon him rapidly. Jag cut back his power even more, almost crawling along as he dodged bolt after bolt of lightning while weaving through the trees. The sky was darkening, but from the storm or the onset of night, Jag couldn't tell. Another flash directly in front of the ship surprised him and Jag yelped as another tree fell in his path. He rolled the Clawcraft to starboard then took the fighter in a long loop around a dense patch of trees. The sound of the freezing rain on the viewport reminded Jag of footsteps on durasteel. It had an almost hypnotic beat to it.  
  
He passed low over some snow-capped foliage and felt his body contract as a small patch of orange material tried to fly free from the branch it had become ensnared in. *Jaina...*  
  
The clap of thunder shocked him and Jag jumped in his seat. He cursed himself for his lack of focus and continued to deftly manoeuvre through the trees. "Jaina? If you can hear me, I'm skimming the surface. If you can find a way to help me see you, I'd greatly appreciate it."  
  
No reply. *Damn.* He was learning quickly that his patience was not as strong as he had thought. The longer it took for him to find her, the longer she would be exposed to the elements and the risk of hypothermia was a definite possibility in this cursed weather. He estimated that she had already been down about five minutes.  
  
He finally cleared the trees and emerged into a opening. In the clearing sat a stone house near a lake. Hope washed over him as Jag began a slow circle of the area. *Perhaps Jaina came here and the owners of the house allowed her to wait inside.* The Clawcraft approached the fortified house slowly, the wind pushing at the hull as if to speed it on its way.  
  
The house seemed roughly rectangular in shape, surrounded by a curtain wall and a massive angular building rose from the southern corner near the lake- like moat that surrounded three-quarters of it. There were two drum-shaped towers at each corner of the house, the one on the right had a conical roof. There was an arched entrance to the western tower and it looked to Jag as if it had either been damaged or had never been fully constructed. The stone it had been made from looked old and the exterior appeared unkempt. As he brought the ship around the rear of the house, he noted that it was more diamond-shaped than rectangular and had suffered considerable wear-and-tear. It was definitely older than he originally thought.  
  
Everything around him was covered in white, except for the water. The lake was a deep shade of blue, almost black, Jag thought as he surveyed the surface for a safe place to land. There were so many trees of every kind and size surrounding this clearing that Jag found himself anticipating the emptiness of space once they left here.  
  
He was about to turn back to the house and find a place closer to land when his attention became riveted on the water. The Clawcraft hovered in its place as Jag blinked in both shock and alarm. In the water, laying on its side was the X-Wing's chair, and still strapped to it, half emerged in the frigid water of the lake, was Jaina. 


	8. Chapter 8

All conscious thought and feeling left his body as the military training he had spent most of his life learning and perfecting set in. Gone was the pilot with the expert hand at the stick and in his place was the soldier he truly was. Jag guided the Clawcraft to a narrow outcropping on the other side of the lake, the only space not punctuated by trees. The ship bucked several times, buffeted by the wind and the elements before it finally settled on the ground. He killed all power to the ship, popped the access hatch and pulled himself out of the cockpit, tossing his helmet into the chair below him.  
  
The freezing rain and snow assailed him and Jag felt the sting on his skin as Drognan's weather welcomed him with antipathy. The wind was not only blowing strongly but it was bitterly cold. He found himself repeatedly blinking against the harshness of the elements and as his feet landed in the snow-covered ground, he cursed. The snow was almost to his knees and would slow him down slightly in his movements.  
  
Jag had set the ship down as close to the lake as he could and he only had to take several steps before he was in the water. His body seized as the freezing water of the lake swooshed around him, and he silently wished that his training had prepared him for this type of rescue. He was a strong swimmer but the worsening storm and icy waters hampered him considerably.  
  
The lake was a reluctant ally and seemed eager to pull him far below the surface. Jag struggled against the ever-changing current but within a couple of minutes he reached the X-Wing's chair. He noticed as he clutched the seat and started to pull it toward him that his fingers felt numb and sluggish through his flight gloves. Turning the chair over on to its backside brought Jaina on her back, and Jag stiffened as he noted that she was not moving. He supported himself against the chair as he quickly checked for a pulse. He couldn't feel her skin through the material of his glove but he knew that her body was just as cold and most likely traumatized by the impact with the water.  
  
He sighed. *She's still breathing. Barely.* He fumbled with the restraining straps of the chair while at the same time cursing the weather for slowing him down and making his task so much more difficult. Once he accomplished that, Jag eased Jaina's limp form out of the chair and wrapped an arm over her chest while supporting her against his side. Consecutive bolts of lightning hit the shoreline near the ship and was instantly followed by a rumble of thunder that seemed never-ending.  
  
Jag started swimming back toward the Clawcraft and noticed that the water around him was beginning to freeze over. The temperature had dropped and the freezing rain was changing into snow. A very heavy snow. The wind pushed against him as the water once again tried to suck him under. Several times he had to adjust his hold on Jaina for she started to slip from his grip and it didn't help at all that his body was warning him that if he didn't get out of the cold soon, he would also start showing signs of hypothermia.  
  
After minutes that seemed like hours, Jag pulled himself on to the shore, dragging Jaina behind him. He laid her down on her back, checking once again to make sure she was still alive and nodded satisfied that there was still a pulse. He blinked repeatedly against the stinging cold as he stood up and ran back to the ship. Pulling himself up once again, he leaned into the cockpit far enough to pop open a compartment behind his pilot's chair. Grabbing a small black backpack, Jag came back up and closed the access hatch. He jumped down from the Clawcraft and ran back to Jaina.  
  
The sky was almost black. Thick clouds rolled in from the west and the wind continued to pick up speed. The blowing snow made visibility worse and Jag knew there was no way they would be leaving Drognan this day. He pulled the backpack over his shoulders then bent down on one knee. He brought one arm under Jaina's neck while bracing her body with his other. He stood up, shifting Jaina's body so her face was against his chest and away from the harshness of the wind, and started walking as quickly as he could toward the stone structure.  
  
Walking became more of a challenge to Jag than he anticipated. Within the moments he had exited his ship and pulled Jaina from the lake, the snow had piled up considerably, now slightly above his knees. He had to stopped several times because his grip on Jaina slackened, and each time he had to reposition her against him, catch his breath, and start moving again. The snow plastered his hair against his head, blocking his view a bit as several locks stuck to his brow. His breath caught in his throat several times as he sucked in the bitter cold while he breathed. Jag tried to think of warm, sunny thoughts to help him forget how sluggish he was becoming.  
  
The ground shifted beneath him and his left leg buckled. He fell hard on his side, his left leg twisted uncomfortably beneath him. He winced at the pain, feeling the muscle pull opposite his movements. Jag struggled to his knees and repositioned Jaina's body once again, this time bringing her over his right shoulder. It was an uneven weight on him, but it was probably the most practical way to carry her. Getting to his feet, Jag winced as he continued towards the house, ignoring the fact that he was limping heavily.  
  
The structure was like a beacon in the storm. The grayish-brown stone seemed impervious to the elements, the towers guiding a weary traveller to the safety within its walls. Jag didn't know how long it took him to come around the lake to the fortified house, but he was thankful that he was only steps away from the door. The closer he got to the building, the more Jag realized that the house was not partially constructed as he had initially thought. In fact, the stone structure was much older than it looked from the sky. The upper windows were cracked, the arched entrance to the western tower looked as if it had suffered substantial damage, perhaps from a bombardment of some sort. The stone bridge leading from the woods to the house was weather-beaten, some areas were devoid of any stone or brick. The eastern tower had no windows, Jag noticed, just stone frames of where they had once been.  
  
His shoulder ached from Jaina's limp form. His leg throbbed with pain, worsening with each step. His body shivered. Tears stung his eyes as the harsh wind continued to assail him. Jag imagined he looked like a walking snowman, the blizzard coating him from head to toe. He hoped that the homeowners would be gracious enough to allow them to stay the night and warm up. He didn't think he could make it back to the Clawcraft if they refused.  
  
The huge double doors of the house were made of wood and looked as if they had seen better days. Creases in the wood no doubt allowed drafts to enter the structure. He braced Jaina again as she started to slip from his shoulder. The wind whistled against his ears and pummelled his body and Jag had to adjust his stance, feet apart and firmly planted on the ground to keep from falling. His left leg was throbbing so bad he thought he was going to collapse. He started to pound on the door with all the strength he still had left in him, just to be heard over the howling of the wind.  
  
The door slowly opened but not from any help from inside. The wind pushed the door at the same time Jag knocked. A snow pile crossed over from the outside to the inside of the structure. Without hesitation, he stepped inside.  
  
"Hello? Is there anybody here? I need assistance!"  
  
Silence greeted him. Jag stepped further into the house, closing the door behind him with a swift kick. His left leg jerked from that action alone and he stumbled backward. Leaning heavily against the door, Jag took a moment to catch his breath. It wasn't any warmer in here. The sound of the wind hitting the windows and breezing through the open frames created an eerie song throughout the building. Raising his left hand slightly to brush wet hair out of his eyes, he called out again.  
  
"Is there anyone here? I have an injured person here! Hello?"  
  
Silence.  
  
The foyer in which he stood was massive. To his left was a wide stone staircase that curled upward and directly in front of him was a long, narrow hallway that led to places deeper inside the structure. To his right were two huge wood doors, separating the foyer from the room within. Battered tapestries lined the walls near the stairs and along the hallway. The gusts of wind that crept into the house gently moved the tapestries around. There was a large desk against the wall near the hallway and on its surface were data tapes covered in a light dusting of snow. Dust seemed to be everywhere, giving the impression that the house had been deserted for some time.  
  
Jag took a deep breath, getting his strength once again and moved toward the doors. He grasped the gold handle and pushed the door inward, calling out once more in case the inhabitants were in here. The room was empty and as Jag stepped inside and surveyed his surroundings, he knew exactly what he would have to do.  
  
The dining hall was easily double the size of the foyer. A large wooden table sat in the middle of the room and surrounding it were at least sixteen high-backed chairs. Each chair was covered with a deep red material and in the centre of the table was a bouquet of dried flowers. An ancient fireplace was to his left, near to the doors and in front of it was a rusted fire-screen. Two armoires sat at the back of the room, just as dusty as the rest of the furniture Jag had seen so far. Next to the door sat an old chest, about as long as he was tall. On the wall opposite the entrance to the room were eight ceiling-to-floor windows covered in the same deep- red fabric as the chairs. The scene before him was something right out of ancient history. This place was seriously lacking in up-to-date technology.  
  
Moving further into the room, Jag turned to the chest and eased Jaina from his shoulder onto the sturdy surface. He placed the backpack on the chest next to her and opened it. Pulling out the medpac, Jag turned it on and quickly scanned Jaina's bio-signs. Her pulse was weak and her body temperature had dropped, yet everything else seemed okay.  
  
He closed the door behind him, hoping to erase some of the chill that dominated the foyer. He stripped off his flight gloves and tossed them on the floor next to the chest. Then, he limped over to the table, grabbed a chair, and went straight to the windows. Placing the chair against the wall, Jag climbed up and immediately felt the muscle in his left leg contract from the movement. He winced against the pain and grabbed a hold of the drapes on the window in front of him. The fabric was soft to the touch yet heavy. He pulled the drapes toward him, tugging hard enough to pull the brackets holding them in place off their perch. The plush material fell into his hands. The exterior of the window was frosted over and the storm continued to bombard Drognan. Another flash of lightning struck close to the house. Jag eased himself off the chair and walked over to the fireplace.  
  
Taking the first drape, he double-folded it and laid it down on the stone floor. His fingers grazed the stone and Jag was thankful that it wasn't as cold as he thought it might have been. He straightened out the fabric, making a place in front of the fire that could have easily accompanied three people. He double-folded the other drape and tossed it over the nearest chair.  
  
Next, he went to the fireplace and took several pieces of old, dusty wood from the berth next to it and tossed them into the hearth. He stood up and glanced briefly around for something to ignite it with. Seeing nothing, Jag shrugged, drew his charric, aimed, and fired. Flames burst up around the wood, quickly creating a glowing fire. Satisfied, Jag went back to the chest near the door.  
  
For a second he stood staring down at Jaina's lifeless form. Her flightsuit was soaked, the last flakes of snowing melting into the material. He squatted down next to her and gently removed the flight helmet. Her hair was plastered to her head and a fine gash on her forehead indicated that her helmet had cut into the skin during impact. Jag reached over and grabbed the medpac. He took a small bacta patch and gently placed it over the cut. He gently pushed her hair back from her face and removed the barrette that had been holding it back in a ponytail. Resting his hand against her brow, Jag sighed. He knew what he had to do next and he only hoped Jaina would understand when she awoke.  
  
He removed her boots first, followed by her flight gloves. He unhooked her utility belt and lightsaber and placed them at his feet. Then, he began to un-zipper the flightsuit. Jag was acutely aware that his fingers were shaking. He stopped once he reached her mid-section and tenderly placed his fingers inside the flightsuit. He brought one arm around her back, sitting her up slightly while the other eased her upper body of the flightsuit. The thin straps of her tank top were damp, but thankfully not as wet as the outer shell she wore.  
  
Laying her back down, he finished un-zippering the flightsuit and gingerly slipped it over her legs. He felt a tight lump constrict his throat as he noted the slender curves of Jaina's shapely legs. Jag cursed and tossed the flightsuit on the floor. Now was not the time to admire her beauty. She was laying consciousness on the chest clad only in a thin tank top and panties. The sudden image of Han Solo's hands around his neck entered his mind. Jag shivered, but this time, not from the cold.  
  
He hurriedly stripped himself of his flightsuit, tossing his uniform, boots, and utility belt onto the floor next to Jaina's assorted garb. He stood there, wearing a black muscle shirt and athletic shorts, his hair dripping against his neck and face. Jag grabbed his charric and then picked Jaina up in his arms. Out of the wet flightsuit she was much lighter but the pulled muscle in his left leg hindered him still and he limped back over to the fire. The charric dropped from his grip as he laid Jaina down on the make-shift bed. Jag grabbed the other drape then eased himself down on the plush material. It wasn't the greatest, he knew, but he didn't have much to work with and the heat from the fire would warm the room in a short time.  
  
Easing Jaina on her side, Jag pulled her against him until her back was pressing against his chest. He pulled the other drape over them and brought it up to their necks. Under the cover, Jag wrapped his arms around Jaina and rested his head against hers.  
  
A sigh like no other escaped him. It felt like hours had passed since he had pulled her from the water when in reality it was probably no more than twenty minutes. His body ached and stung from the cold. Jag tightened his grip on her as he recalled seeing Jaina emerged in the lake. He had known fear in his life, had known the pain of watching those he cared for die in circumstances behind their control. This time, however, it was different. It felt different. He didn't know why seeing Jaina like that affected him so strongly.  
  
He cared about her as a pilot and an acquaintance, but as something more? He barely knew her and when he had attempted to change that on Hapes she had rebuked him. If there was anything in life that truly baffled him and made him want to bang his head against a wall, it was women. His experiences with them were few and far between, but the encounters he did have left him wondering why men even bothered trying to impress and enchant them.  
  
Jag focused his stare on the crackling flames of the fire in front of them. When he left for Kesna this morning he had never dreamed that he be laying on the floor with Jaina, half-dressed, and covered with window curtains. Then again, he hadn't planned on her coming along with him either. He wished that he could say that he had been in stranger predicaments, but he hadn't. Not that this was strange. In fact, it felt...natural. He shifted a little, moving closer to provide more heat to Jaina's body. A smile touched his lips as he closed his eyes, weariness taking over. *She is going to kill me when she wakes up.* 


	9. Chapter 9

*At peace. Comforted. Admired. Protected.* If warmth could be defined as a way of being, then this was what she wanted. In a time where her emotions and her thoughts were converging into one, leading her to a place dark and empty, these feelings were something she longed for. To be at peace in a time of turbulence. To be comforted by the presence of someone who cared for her in a way she had never known. To be admired for all aspects of her being; her mind, her abilities, her body, her strengths and weaknesses. To be protected from the things threatening to pull her down, both material and emotional. She was in a place she never wanted to leave.  
  
Even as she felt her body begin to react to the impact of the crash, she didn't open her eyes. She ignored the blazing pain that seemed to spread from every limb and stayed in the shadows of her thoughts. She felt the warmth around her as brilliantly as she felt it swirl through her. The arm across her waist tightened its grip ever-so-slightly and inwardly she smiled as Jag's presence shone like a supernova through the Force. He was alert and watchful over her, she knew, for his concern was strong and almost consuming him. She wondered what had happened to make him feel this way, what did he see that altered the way he carried himself, the way he shielded his thoughts and emotions from her.  
  
Jaina blinked several times before she opened her eyes and was greeted by the soft glow of a crackling fire several meters away. The room in which they were in was dark, except for the shadows created by the flames. A blanket was pulled up to her chin and even as the fire provided warmth, she still felt terribly cold. The sound of thunder sliced the air and the wind repeatedly pounded on windows she could not readily see.  
  
A small gasp escaped her as the pain in her side increased with each breath. Jaina blinked back tears as the memory of what happened came back to her in one quick flash. After she had ejected from the X-Wing, she had used what little repulsor power the chair had left to guide her to a safe landing and she had used the Force as well to help slow down her descent. The warning that something was wrong came to her at the same time a bolt of lightning snaked through the trees and nailed the chair. The force-field failed, the repulsors winked out and she had spun uncontrollably towards a lake. She had tried to guide herself again but the currents of the ever- changing wind had proved to be a competent challenger and smacked her hard against a tree, rendering her unconsciousness.  
  
Considering the fact that she was still alive, her landing couldn't have been all that bad, and Jag had managed to get to her. As she slowly shifted herself from her side to her back, she gasped again and felt her body jerk in the opposite direction. Her head was spinning and the worst headache she'd ever had flared to life, right across her forehead.  
  
Jag's arm slackened and adjusted its position with her movements and Jaina found anger among the myriad of emotions she felt right now. Why was she laying on the floor, in front of a fireplace, with Jag behind her, half- draped over her as if they were in a lovers embrace? She felt warmth flood her cheeks again and knew that had nothing to do with the crackling embers.  
  
Turning her head slowly, Jaina glanced over her shoulder at Jag. He was watching her intently, the glow from the fire casting a shadow on his face that made him look both seductive and dangerous. His pale green eyes studied her, his brows were drawn together, and his lips were pulled into a grim line.  
  
"Where does it hurt?" he asked, his voice low.  
  
Jaina sighed, an action she immediately regretted. Her sides ached with an unbearable pain and her head felt like it was going to explode. "Everywhere." Her voice sounded hoarse and uneven.  
  
"Let's have a look, shall we?" Jag shifted her gently, pulling his arms away from her. Jaina frowned, wanting to be back in the safe haven of his embrace.  
  
He pulled the blanket away from her, bringing it to rest below her waist. Jaina suddenly became aware of two things. The first was that the room was cold despite the fire. The second was that Jag was out of uniform. In fact, he was out of most of his clothes. He wore a black muscle shirt that defined the sinewy shape of his arms and the short athletic boxers he wore clung a little too tightly to his well-toned body. She was also aware that she wore only her gray tank top and panties.  
  
Before she could question him about the lack of clothing, Jag kneeled next to her and lifted the tank top up a little. Jaina huffed in both pain and shock. Her fingers found his and tangled with them in a weak effort to stop his actions.  
  
"Jaina." Her name was a whisper on his lips. He hardly ever addressed her by her first name and it sent a shiver down her spine. It sounded different when he said it; sweet and innocent.  
  
"Don't touch me." She tried to sound angry and threatening, but it came out sounding more like a breathless plea.  
  
"You may have broken a few ribs and if that happened, I'll have to set it before they start to heal improperly." Jag looked at her apologetically while at the same time talking to her as if she were a child.  
  
Jaina knew the longer she ignored her injuries, the worse it was going to get. She nodded slowly, the effort reinforcing the pain in her head. Her fingers moved away from his and she pulled the tank top up to a discreet position against her chest. She watched as Jag's stare narrowed and he gently pressed his fingers against her skin.  
  
Immediately the pain flared. "Ow!" She pressed her lips together and tried to keep the urge to scream from escaping her.  
  
"I'm sorry." He continued his exploration, gingerly exploring the area. "Where does it hurt most?"  
  
Everywhere, she wanted to answer again, but discovered that wasn't true when he poked a particularly excruciating spot. "Ow!" She cried out again, bringing her other hand up to swat at him, a feeble attempt to stop his examination.  
  
"I'm sorry." he said again, the look on his face as pained as hers she imagined. "You've bruised yourself pretty bad and you've probably broken two, maybe three ribs." Jag pushed himself up from the floor, looking down at her. "I'll be able to mend it a little and hopefully it will be enough until we can get you to a med-ward."  
  
He turned and walked over to a chest near two massive double doors. Jaina watched him, noticed the taut muscles of his legs as he moved, the perfect posture he executed while reaching for a medpac. It was the most inconvenient time to think about how masculine and handsome he was. However given the amount of pain her entire body seemed to be in, admiring Jag was the only thing to help distract her from how much she hurt all over.  
  
Jag walked back to her, pausing long enough to throw another log on the fire. He kneeled down again, placing the medpac next to him. "Do you think you can sit up?"  
  
Jaina nodded. "I think so." She accepted his outstretched hand and gently eased herself up. A streak of pain shot from under her left arm to her waist and Jaina screamed, a sound that began loudly and then faded to a series of gasps. She squeezed his hand with all her strength and more, and Jag visibly winced.  
  
She breathed heavily, releasing Jag's hand and placing her palms firmly on the plush blanket beneath her. "I'll be okay. Just do what you have to do, and make it quick." Somehow she managed to grant him a small smile.  
  
Jag frowned, opening the medpac. She needed something to focus on, something to help relieve some of the discomfort she was feeling. Calling on the Force, she calmed herself into a semi-trance, and was pleased to note that the pain slowly began to feel as if were far away. Instead of closing her eyes, she focused her stare on Jag. She wanted to be aware of what was going on as well and found that it was very easy to lose herself with Jag.  
  
Shivering against the chill of the room, she was torn between watching him and erasing her pain. He pulled out a spray hypo and a small vial. "What's that?" she asked, her voice soft.  
  
"Just a little something to help ease the pain. It might make you a little groggy." he spoke with the same tone she used.  
  
"It's not some strange Chiss anesthetic, is it?"  
  
Jag spared her a glance, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "No. This is a standard medpac. It's a localized nerve anesthetic. You'll start to feel the effects as soon as I give it to you."  
  
"Oh." They were silent for a few moments as Jag administered the painkiller then checked her vitals using the medpac's diagnostic scanner. Satisfied with the readings, Jag turned back to the medpac and rummaged around in it once more.  
  
Jaina closed her eyes and felt his fingers return to her skin, warm and soft. The effects of the drug he gave her were beginning to take effect and her body began to feel sluggish. She was still exhausted from the crash and wanted desperately to go back to sleep, to go back to that wonderful place she had visited before the pain stirred her awake.  
  
"Do you remember what happened?"  
  
Jag's voice sounded like music to her ears. Jaina opened her eyes and blinked, focusing her stare on him. The glow of the fire made him look rugged, defining his features in sharp lines and hard curves. He was bent over her slightly, a small silver instrument in his hand. She felt the pinprick as he prodded at her injuries and jumped a little.  
  
She nodded and the action seemed to take all the energy she had. "The chair was struck by lightning, knocking out the repulsors and the force-field. I tried to land using the Force but the wind and snow and rain didn't help and I smacked into a tree." Jaina raised a hand briefly to her head and she felt the bacta patch there. "I guess I hit my head." The sentence sounded silly in retrospect, she thought.  
  
"I found you in the lake next to this place." he said, still working on her injured ribs with the bone stabilizer. "I had trouble finding you and when I finally did, I estimated that you had been down for about five to seven minutes. I brought you here, hoping that they owners of this house could assist us, however, it appears that this place has been abandoned for some time."  
  
He looked up briefly and Jaina noticed for the first time since she woke how weary he looked. She hadn't considered how much of a struggle he might have had finding her because of the storm raging outside.  
  
"I had to make the most of the resources available," he went on, "and I haven't had the chance to see what else might be here that we can use. I know that the fire's not much, but it's warming the room up a little. I fell asleep for a bit but I think it's only been about three or four hours since you crashed. I apologize if I gave you the wrong impression when you woke up, but I had to keep you warm."  
  
Through the haze of the painkiller Jaina managed a small smile. "You do realize that when I'm feeling better, I'm going to kill you."  
  
Jag set the bone stabilizer back in the medpac and took up the spray splint. "I'm aware of that, however, in my defence I didn't strip you of all your clothes."  
  
Jaina blushed and looked away. She sensed nothing but honourable intent from Jag and as relieved and pleased as she was with that, it surprisingly saddened her a little. She frowned at that, wondering why it was so important to her that Jag reciprocate her feelings. On Hapes she had felt the connection through the Force grow and change into something so much deeper and full of meaning, but why didn't he feel it too? Surely he didn't think of her as just another pilot and comrade-in-arms? Even though she wasn't entirely clear about what exactly it was that she felt for Jag, she understood that it was something she could not ignore. It was something that needed to be explored. His upbringing in the Unknown Regions had such a huge impact on the way he dealt with things. She wished that he wasn't so adept at masking his emotions.  
  
"Jaina?"  
  
"Yes?" She turned back to him and tried to push the sudden urge to collapse into sleep from her mind. A thick fog crept into her head and the headache seemed to numb her senses.  
  
"What were you thinking just now?" Jag turned away and took the laser cauterizer from the medpac. Bunching the top blanket in his hands, he use the medical instrument to cut a thick strip of material from the bottom of the blanket.  
  
"You." she replied. Jag looked up, his stare perplexed. *You.* she whispered again in her mind. "Thank you for saving me." she replied, not eager to tell him the true extent of her thoughts.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Jaina touched his presence through the Force and grinned when she noticed that all too familiar uneasiness there. He seemed to convey that lately and although it was uncommon to see him uncertain and bewildered, it was endearing at the same time. He suddenly didn't seem so inhuman.  
  
"I'm going to bind your injury, just for a little added support." Jag said, clearing his throat. "Since we're going to be here overnight it might make movement a little more bearable for you."  
  
Jaina nodded. The pain was ebbing away to a dull ache yet sleep was desperately trying to claim her. She couldn't wait for Jag to finish dressing her wound. She was tired and the draft in the room was making her colder. She leaned her forehead against his chest and closed her eyes.  
  
Jag pulled her tank top up a little higher, still maintaining her dignity, and began to wind the cloth around her side, lifting her arm carefully as he did so. His knuckles brushed against her skin as he rolled the cloth across her stomach and around to her back again.  
  
Pressing the flat of one hand against her back, he held her upright. His palm was growing more heated, either that or she was colder than she thought. She didn't feel cold, though. Instead there was a warmth inside that travelled from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. Sighing, Jaina breathed against him and found the soft material of his muscle shirt a nuisance. She should take the shirt from him and place her hands on his chest and warm him too.  
  
Once again, he raised her arm and his fingers brushed against her elbow and the inside of her arm, lingering there.  
  
Suddenly she was so tired she could barely keep her head up. She pressed her face against his neck, breathed against his skin. Speech was beyond her, the silence between them an enchanting voice all its own.  
  
Jag's breath was warm against her chilled shoulder as he bent to test the tightness of the binding. He glanced down at her, then looked away just as quickly.  
  
It seemed to take him an eternity to finish wrapping her injury and Jaina revelled in it. The sound of the storm outside seemed almost inaudible. She wished that they could stay like this forever.  
  
Her head was spinning and as she opened her eyes, she became fascinated by the movement of the muscles in his arms. "I don't feel like myself." she said, her words a little slurred.  
  
"That's the effect of the anesthetic." Jag said, his voice sounding a little strange. "I admit it's the first field dressing I've done, but hopefully it's good enough to support your ribs until they heal."  
  
He put the laser cauterizer back in the medpac, then moved it off to the side. Jag helped her lay back down on the blanket and the moment she made impact with solid ground, she sighed deeply. She hadn't realized how much of a strain it had been on her body to simply sit up.  
  
Jag laid down beside her and before he could do anything else, Jaina slowly turned to him, pressing herself gently against his side. She sensed his surprise and concern as she draped an arm across his chest, one leg slipping over his.  
  
"You'll be more comfortable on your back, Jaina." his voice cracked a little causing Jaina to smile against him. "You're applying pressure to the broken ribs and---"  
  
"And I'm still really cold." she whispered, closing her eyes.  
  
Jaina felt him shift a little then felt the softness of the blanket cover her. She was aware that her body moved slightly and the pain that shot through her was immediately erased by the press of Jag's arm around her back. She snuggled closer to him, greedily taking the warmth he was offering her.  
  
"I'm glad that you're all right, Jaina."  
  
Jag's voice seemed to come from far away. She was too weary to answer him with words, so she simply tightened her grip across his waist. She sighed, falling into a pleasant sleep, accompanied by the vision of pale green eyes smiling at her. 


	10. Chapter 10

Jag felt as if he had been squashed by an Imperial Walker. His entire body ached from the awkwardness of sleeping on the stone floor and he had not changed positions during the night. He blinked slowly, adjusting his vision and realized that some time throughout the night the fire had burned out. Faint shadows danced across the ceiling and the walls, and the sound of the wind beating against the windows was almost hypnotic. Bringing his left hand up to rub sleep from his eyes prompted a groan and as he attempted to raise his head, he regretted it quickly. His neck ached from the stone pillow of the floor and a minor headache blanched in the back of his head.  
  
A soft sigh next to him halted his actions. Jag slowly turned his head to his right, his breath hitched at the sight before him. Jaina had not moved from her sleep as well, her body was turned toward his, pressing against his side gently. Her arm was still draped over his waist underneath the make-shift blanket, her leg still gingerly resting over his. Her head was turned slightly upward, granting him a view of her face. She looked even more lovely in sleep, at peace with her thoughts and feelings. Her chestnut brown hair billowed behind her like a halo and he had the sudden urge to run his fingers through it, to see if her hair was as soft as it looked.  
  
Moving slowly so as not to wake her, Jag shifted Jaina's body a little so he could free his other arm from its place around her back. He flexed it several times in an effort to erase the stiffness, then pushed himself up from the floor as quietly as he could. Jaina sighed again and stretched out a little in the spot he had just vacated.  
  
Jag stretched his tired, aching limbs then walked over to the fireplace. He was happy to note that his left leg didn't hurt as much, but the limp was still there. He squatted in front of the log pile and picked through it, looking for the thickest pieces to throw on the fire. Tossing several logs on the hearth, Jag grabbed his charric from the floor next to the fireplace, then ignited the wood with a single shot. He watched the flames lick the wood as if it were an animal hungry for a meal.  
  
He placed his hands on his knees and turned his stare back toward Jaina. The curtain covered her from head to toe, with the exception of her right shoulder which was peeking up over the material. She was curled on her side still, her back hunched a little in sleep. Pushing himself back up, Jag walked over and bent to adjust the blanket. He noticed that the strap of her tank top had slipped down her arm a little and he gently tucked a finger under the material, pulling the strap back up over her shoulder. His finger grazed her skin. Delicate. It was the first word that came to mind when he touched her. He had thought the same thing the night before when he was tending to her injured ribs.  
  
Uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts were taking him, Jag brought the blanket up over her shoulder then rose abruptly and walked over to the chest. He picked up the small backpack and rummaged around in it until he sought what he had been looking for. He pulled out a pair of black pants and slipped them on, leaving his muscle shirt to hang just below the waist. Then he took a plum-coloured shirt from the backpack and set it on the chest. Finding the three ration bars he kept there, Jag took everything over to the table and set them down on the surface, disturbing the light covering of dust. He placed the charric on the table as well, then returned to the chest and gathered up their flight suits, utility belts, gloves, and boots. The suits were still very wet, so he hung them over the backs of two chairs and propped the boots up against the chair legs. He spread the gloves out on the table to dry and placed the belts next to them. His fingers ran over the smooth handle of Jaina's lightsaber, a grin touching his lips. He couldn't begin to imagine the amount of discipline and training that went into her ability to weld the weapon.  
  
Jag quietly paced the room until he reached the windows. He stopped at the one he had removed the curtains from and looked outside. Snow had piled against the window and he couldn't see all that well, however the fact that he couldn't even see the yard outside told him enough. The snow continued to devour the landscape and the wind did not cease with its quest to rearrange the foliage into its own twisted image. It was still relatively dark outside, either from the weather or early morning. The storm was going as strong as ever yet it did not compete with the one raging inside him.  
  
Before they arrived at Kesna, he thought he understood how he felt about Jaina. He applauded her accomplishments and admired her courage. He was impressed with her ability as a pilot and was intrigued by her Jedi heritage. Her frankness was refreshing, her stubbornness a challenge. On Hapes, he likened her to a puzzle; there were many pieces of her that he had yet to figure out and the ones that he had created the image of a strong, charismatic young woman. He had also recognized her pain over the loss of her brothers and understood it in a way that was almost frightening. She frustrated him, angered him, tested his patience, and somehow through all that, she had found a way to make him smile. To make him laugh. To make him feel not so grim.  
  
Leaning against the window, Jag thought back to the moment on Hapes when they had almost discreetly excused themselves from the banquet Ta'Chume had hosted. They had managed to weave their way through the party-goers and into the hallway before the former queen mother had stopped them, seeking Jaina's company. He hadn't known at the time just where they had intended to go, but he had found himself wondering many nights after what would have happened if Ta'Chume had not interrupted them. Where would they have gone? What would they have talked about? What path would their relationship have taken after that night?  
  
When he had found her lifeless body half-emerged in the lake, fear had taken over his senses for the briefest of moments. He had experienced more emotions than he had ever willed himself to feel. Anger that she had disobeyed his orders. Apprehension that she had died on impact. Regret that he had not spent more time with her...  
  
And what about last night? Jag blew out a long breath, his stare focused on an invisible point in the snow. He recalled the bewildered look on her face when she woke from unconsciousness and his breath had caught in his throat. In her dishevelled state, she looked ethereal in the glow of the flames. The sound of her cries while he prodded her injuries was like a blade through his heart. He hated to cause her discomfort. The blush that hit her cheeks when she realized they were both half-dressed. He couldn't fault her for that though for he was just as red-faced.  
  
Nothing had prepared him, though, for her actions after the anesthetic had kicked in. She had lazily leaned against his chest while he wrapped her bindings and he had struggled with trying to keep his mind from two prominent thoughts. The first was that his fingers consistently grazed against her stomach while he wrapped the binding around her, her skin soft to the touch. He had wondered if she used lotion to make it that way or if it was naturally silky.  
  
The second thought was the one that bothered him the most. When Jaina had fallen gently against his chest, her breath a whisper against his neck, he had unexpectedly become aware of every hollow and curve of her body. It was almost as if her shape had been made just for him, granting him her tenderness and warmth. He had bent to fasten the binding together at her waist and his mouth had been only inches away from her skin. The curve of her shoulder was a beacon calling to him, inviting him to plant a simple kiss there and then take it on a journey that would lead to her lips.  
  
His breath hitched again and the softness of it shocked him. Jag blinked several times, his eyes still searching the snow-covered land outside. When Jaina had turned to him, half-drunk with pain and exhaustion, he hadn't expected her to embrace him the way she did. It had shocked him beyond all conscious thought and had effectively kept him awake for a long time. From the moment he had found Jaina in the lake, Jag was aware that something had changed inside him regarding how he thought of her. It ran deeper than he'd ever anticipated. It went beyond friendship. It went beyond desire. It went beyond anything else he had ever known in his life.  
  
And the very thought of it scared the hell out of him.  
  
*You can't deny it to yourself any longer, Fel. A nagging little voice inside his head taunted. Whether you want to admit it or not, you've been falling in love with Jaina Solo since the very moment you saw her.*  
  
"Jag?"  
  
So startled was he by the sound of her voice, Jag jumped, even though Jaina's tone was just above a whisper. He turned to look at her and found himself fixated on the scene before him.  
  
Jaina was sitting up, her left hand helping to support her while her right crossed over her chest, holding the blanket up just below her neck. The radiance of the flames seemed to enveloped her and highlighted every curve of her body underneath the blanket. Her hair fell over her shoulders and down her back and was only a little tousled from sleep. She still looked weary yet her brandy-brown eyes were alert and sparkled with something Jag couldn't decipher. A smile touched Jaina's lips, both tender and alluring.  
  
She was absolutely breath-taking.  
  
"Jag? Are you all right?"  
  
He nodded slowly, bringing himself out of his daze. The sound of his name on her lips stirred something in him that he couldn't name. "I'm fine. How are you feeling?" Immediately, he pushed all thought of her from his mind, shutting himself off from her Jedi senses.  
  
"I feel better than before, I think." She raised a hand to brush hair away from her eyes. "Still sore, of course. And tired."  
  
"I could give you some more of the anesthetic, if the pain is still bad." He started to walk back over to the make-shift bed.  
  
Jaina gasped. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"I just pulled a muscle. It's nothing." Jag squatted next to her and picked up the medpac. He opened it and began to take out the spray hypo but was stopped by Jaina's fingers on his. He noted that they felt a little warmer than the day before.  
  
"I don't need any more painkillers." She grinned up at him and Jag almost lost himself in that gesture. She didn't have much to smile about lately yet she somehow found the strength for it. He was glad that she could share that with him. "The pain isn't all that bad and if it does flare up, I can use a healing technique to get rid of it."  
  
He closed the medpac then set it down away from the bed so he wouldn't trip over it. "You should be laying down. Sitting up is adding pressure to the injury and you're going to become uncomfortable very quickly."  
  
She made a face. "It's hard to get comfortable when your bed is made of stone." She shifted her hand on the floor for better support. "I'll be okay."  
  
Jag rose and walked over to the table. Grabbing the plum-coloured shirt, he turned back to her. "We have my mother to thank for this. She reminds me every time I leave for a mission to pack an extra pair of clothes, just in case." A grin touched the corner of his mouth. "In case of what, I have no idea." He started to walk back over, then as an afterthought, turned and grabbed a ration bar.  
  
Jaina was silent and Jag was acutely aware that she was watching him. He tried but failed to squelch the blush that hit his cheeks. Sitting cross- legged next to her, he held out the shirt. "It may not be much, but it will help to keep you a little warmer."  
  
"Will you help me?"  
  
Jag blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
Jaina shifted a little on the floor, sitting a little straighter. "I don't want to put any added strain on my ribs. Please?" She released the blanket from her grip, letting it fall into a little pile at her waist.  
  
Without saying a word, Jag leaned over a little, coming up behind her . Jaina stretched out her right arm and Jag slid the material over her skin. She turned slightly as he did so, bringing her body a bit closer to his. He then drew back to his original position and was greeted by her outstretched left arm. Once he assisted her with that, he eagerly turned his attention to the mundane task of opening the ration bar.  
  
"Is it still really bad outside?"  
  
Jag looked up and was relieved to see that she didn't need him to help her fasten the shirt. At the same time, however, seeing her sitting there wearing his shirt brought about a sense of longing that surprised him. There was something about her wearing his clothes that had the power to seduce him.  
  
He waited until the lump in his throat disappeared before he spoke. "The storm hasn't subsided. I think it's gotten worse, if that's possible. It looks like we're going to be here a little longer than I thought."  
  
"Well, we'll just have to make the most of it, I guess." Surprising, Jaina didn't sound too disappointed.  
  
He unwrapped the ration bar, tossing the foil aside, then split the bar into two pieces. "I know it's not much," he said, offering her a piece, "but it will have to do for now. I'm going to look around here in a bit and see if I can find something resembling food. I'll also see if I can find anything else we can use for blankets or pillows and I'll find the 'fresher as well."  
  
"Thank you." She accepted the piece of ration bar and took a small bite.  
  
Jag nodded and devoured his small piece in one bite. The full impact of their predicament came to him suddenly. He didn't know how long they were going to be stranded on Drognan and the idea of being alone with Jaina both intrigued and troubled him. Since this house was technologically- disadvantaged he couldn't send off a distress signal and the storm was bad enough outside that it would be treacherous for him to try and reach his ship.  
  
At the same time, however, it was the perfect opportunity for them to get to know one another. Jag wasn't sure he could do that since he excelled at keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself. He did not like discussing his personal life with anyone. *Probably because you don't have much of one.* So much of his life was devoted to his career that even when he had been granted downtime, he still found something important enough to keep him on base. It wasn't that he didn't know how to have fun. It simply was something that he did not take part in.  
  
Jaina had finished her piece of the ration bar and was adjusting the blanket around her when Jag looked over. "Do you want another curtain?"  
  
She turned her lovely smile on him again and Jag's heart skipped a beat. "No, thank you. I should be warm enough." A hint of red spotted her cheeks and Jag had the feeling that she was thinking about the night before. He nodded, running a hand through his mussed hair.  
  
"I don't think I've ever seen your hair that long."  
  
"You call this long? My ears stick out like a mynock on cable wires."  
  
Jaina laughed. "No, they don't! When I first met you at Ithor they did, though."  
  
Despite himself, Jag grinned. "When we get back to Borleias you'll have to help me find the base's barbour."  
  
"I could cut it for you." She raised her head a little and jutted her chin toward the table. "Lightsabers can be used for a multitude of reasons."  
  
"Really?" Jag smirked. "Well, I happen to like where my head is, thank you."  
  
"Suit yourself." she said, feigning disappointment. Jaina raised her hand to her forehead and touched the bacta patch. She must have forgotten about for she was surprised to find it there. "I guess I really banged myself up, didn't I?"  
  
Jag nodded. "I think you cut your head on your helmet when you made impact with the tree. Let me take a look at it and see how it's healing."  
  
He knelt next to her and leaned forward to inspect the cut. His position brought him closer to her and he could feel the heat of her breath against his neck as he removed the bacta patch. Jag wondered if the thumping sound he heard was the wind on the glass or his heart in his chest.  
  
Delicately he examined the spot where her skin had made impact with the helmet. He nodded, satisfied. "It's healed up nicely. You won't have a scar." He folded the bacta patch then tossed it next to the foil wrapper, and then sat back down next to her.  
  
"How did you get your scar?" She shifted again and turned herself to face him. The strain of the movement was on her face and Jag wished that he could take away her pain.  
  
He shouldn't have been surprised by her curiosity. He wondered if the mystery of his scar was something she thought about sometimes. He hadn't shared the story with anyone outside academy friends and his family. Jag rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the dull ache of the headache still lingering there.  
  
"Well, the story behind it is not as dramatic or thrilling as you may think."  
  
Jaina grinned. "You're being modest, I bet. So, what happened?"  
  
Jag hesitated. "Well, ah, I crashed."  
  
"You what?" Jaina blinked in surprise.  
  
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes, even I, Jagged Fel, have been known to crash on occasion." He omitted the fact that while at the academy, he happened to crash a good deal. Before she could say anything else, he went on. "The academy was under attack by pirates and I crashed through a part of the building that was already damaged. I took a few of them out before that, though." He paused, then added, "My Clawcraft was already damaged from a previous battle."  
  
Jaina studied him, her gaze went from his scar back to his eyes. "You must have hit your head pretty hard on the console to crack yourself up like that."  
  
*Haven't you humiliated yourself enough in front of her?* he sighed. Try as he might, he couldn't find a place to divert his stare. "Actually, I didn't hit my head on the console. I, ah, fell out of my ship."  
  
Her lips curved upward and Jaina's eyes danced with faint humour. "You fell?"  
  
"Well, when I crashed, I did get jostled around and I was bit disoriented. I went to jump out of the cockpit and I fell into a pile of broken transparisteel. One of the shards sliced me open. I staggered around for a few minutes until I found Shawnkyr, then I fainted."  
  
She reached a hand out, hesitated for the briefest of seconds, then gently rested her fingers against the part of the scar above his right eye. Jag froze underneath her touch, his gaze fixed on the expression on her face. The humour had faded from her eyes, her expression solemn. Her fingers were so gentle against his skin, he almost couldn't feel the slight movement as she trailed the scar back into his hairline.  
  
"It must have hurt a great deal." she said, her voice faint.  
  
"It did." His voice mirrored hers.  
  
"Why didn't you get treatment to remove it?" Jaina's fingers traced the path it had taken back to the beginning of the scar.  
  
"I was fourteen when it happened. I thought it would symbolize the maturity that came suddenly with it. Or something like that." He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her fingers exploring his skin.  
  
"Or something like that."  
  
Had she actually said that or was it his imagination? Her voice was almost inaudible.  
  
Jag opened his eyes and froze. Jaina was a hairsbreadth away from his face, her breath intertwined with his. Her fingers had trailed from his scar to rest on his shoulder. Her eyes sparkled with something he couldn't decipher. No. That wasn't true. He knew what it was because he felt it too.  
  
Jag suddenly felt claustrophobic. He'd had his share of encounters with women but none of those meetings had ever left him feeling light-headed and anxious. This was different, so very different. Telling himself that Jaina was still suffering from the effects of the anesthetic was easy. Convincing himself of it was something entirely different.  
  
Reluctantly, he removed her fingers from his shoulder and pushed himself up abruptly from the floor. Jaina looked at him, a small grin on her face. "I'm going to see if I can find some more provisions. Try and get some rest. I won't be long."  
  
"You should rest too, Jag." she said, easing herself back down on the make- shift bed. "Promise me that when you get back, you'll get some sleep?"  
  
"I promise." He went to the table, grabbed a glow-rod from the backpack then walked over to the double doors. Sighing heavily, he pushed them open and stepped out into the chilly hallway. Jag spared a quick glance back toward the fire as he slowly closed the door over and hoped that in doing so, the confusion that had flooded him would stay behind and grant him a peace of mind. 


	11. Chapter 11

Jaina awoke from a dream filled with haunted green eyes and a sense of longing. Blinking slowly, she opened her eyes and remained still as her stare focused on the flickering embers of the glistening fire. She hadn't been able to think of anything else from the very moment she awoke to find herself wrapped in Jag's arms, his embrace strong and comforting. He had taken such good care of her, tending to her injured ribs with the gentleness and confidence of a medic. He had talked to her quietly in an effort to help divert her attention from the pain that gripped her entire body. He had shown the compassion she always knew was there.  
  
Something had changed in him, however, since that moment. When she woke this morning he was standing at the window he had stripped the curtains from, his stare focused on an invisible point outside, seeing beyond the beauty and the hazard of the snowstorm. She had not moved for fear of taking him away from his reverie. Jaina closed her eyes again as the memory of how Jag looked at that moment came back to her. He had been leaning against the cool glass, one arm at his side, the other in a pocket of the black pants he had slipped on. The muscle shirt he wore hung loosely at the waist and he was barefoot against the cold stone floor. His hair had been tousled from sleep and the white streak that followed the scar back into the hairline stood out against the dimness of the room.  
  
Jag's eyes had been haunted, his tired features betraying the fact he had slept little that night. Something had troubled him, had brought him deep inside himself and threatened to consume him with the sheer power of it. She had sat there in silence, watching him, wishing she knew what had been so dominant, so intriguing about his thoughts.  
  
Jaina.  
  
A smile touched her lips as she opened her eyes, again focusing on the flames. She had gently reached out through the Force to touch his mind, to see if perhaps she might be able to help him with whatever troubled him. He had saved her life; it was the least she could do for him. Her connection with Jag was tentative, something that would only grow stronger over time, but it was enough to let her feel what he was feeling, hear what he was thinking.  
  
And he had been thinking about her.  
  
He was not angry at her for defying his orders. Jag was not upset over their current predicament. He was not blaming her for what had happened. He was not cursing her very existence or wishing that she had never come along with him.  
  
He was trying to sort out what exactly he felt about her.  
  
Jaina pressed her right hand gently down on the floor and pushed herself up. The pain flared slightly, but fortunately the spray splints Jag had applied stabilized her injury somewhat, making movement a little more bearable. Pushing the blanket down, she eased herself up from the floor, adjusting Jag's shirt in doing so. The material fell just over her midsection, leaving most of her legs exposed and Jaina immediately felt the chill of the room. It wasn't as cold as before and she could feel the warmth of the fire slowly heating the room. She stretched a little and felt her muscles ache with the effort. Her neck, back, arms, legs, everything throbbed from being immobile on the floor. Jaina ran her fingers through her hair in an effort to comb it a little. She cringed as she snagged a couple tangles, straightened them out so she looked somewhat presentable.  
  
She noticed two things. The first was Jag. He was sitting at the table, his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. His arms were folded over his chest, his head leaning back against the chair. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady.  
  
The second was that Jag had found some provisions in his exploration of the house. On the chest near the door sat a large cast iron pot, several wooden utensils, some dishes, two worn dusty cushions, and what appeared to be canned goods. There were several smaller objects that she did not recognize from where she was standing.  
  
Jaina turned her stare back to the table. Jag had arranged their belongings in a way that would allow them to dry. Her lightsaber was still attached to the utility belt and she was thankful that it hadn't gotten lost in the crash.  
  
Tiptoeing across the room, Jaina paused long enough to look toward the exposed window. The sound of the wind and snow beating against the glass and the house were a constant now and no longer surprised her with the strength of it. The storm was not ready to ease its fury and they were stuck on Drognan until the weather slackened and it was safe to venture outdoors.  
  
She stopped next to Jag and looked down at him. Was it possible that he looked more handsome in sleep than he did while awake? She never would have thought so, but looking at him now, the serenity on his face... She wondered if his dreams were the only place he felt he could be free.  
  
Hesitating for a moment, Jaina gently placed her fingers on the scar, mimicking the gesture she'd executed before when he had told her the story of how the marking came into being. Jag did not wake up, however he sighed deeply, the corners of his mouth twitching briefly in his sleep.  
  
*Next time you have a conversation with him that doesn't involve piloting skill or battle tactics, don't just listen to what he says, Jaina. Hear what he means. Feel him. You may be surprised.*  
  
She had heeded Kyp's advice when she had realized that Jag was thinking about her. She listened not with her ears, but through the Force. The intensity of Jag's thoughts almost paralysed her. He was confused by his emotions, uncertain if what he was feeling was real. It had surprised her to sense fear in him and Jaina had found herself wondering what kind of relationships he'd had in the past that would make him question whether he wanted one with her.  
  
Jaina's fingers danced lightly over the scar, then trailed a delicate path down along his cheek, curling her fingers to rest her knuckles against him. His skin was smooth beneath her touch, save for the slight prickle of a day's growth of facial hair.  
  
She had wondered why it was so important to her that Jag reciprocate her feelings. She had been confused by her own emotions, had wondered if it was even worth thinking about. After all the heartache she had suffered in recent weeks, was there really a point in getting to know Jag, to understand him and how he felt about her when everything could change suddenly? When this war still threatened to take someone away from her?  
  
After what had happened the day before, accepting how she felt about Jag was more important than ever.  
  
So, she took Kyp's advice and listened through the Force for the truth. Their conversation had been short but it was all Jaina needed. She knew how Jag felt about her when he'd looked over at her from the window. She noticed how his body stiffened when she touched his scar. She saw it when he opened his eyes and looked at her, felt it when his trembling fingers removed hers from his shoulder. It sang from every part of him. It captivated her mind, captured her heart, and ran to the deepest corners of her soul. It was as if a light had been switched on, illuminating all the darkness shrouding her.  
  
The only thing was, Jag was not ready to admit it to himself. He was not prepared to give so much of himself to one person after spending a lifetime locked in solitude. He was experiencing emotions foreign to him and he needed the time to adjust to them. She would not pressure him, though. Jaina understood that whatever may happen between them had to begin when Jag was ready to accept his feelings and not a moment sooner.  
  
That didn't mean, however, that she would shy away from her own emotions. Jaina's hand fell from his face to his arm and rested gently against the warmth of his skin. They had been granted an unexpected break from the war, an interlude in which the pain and fear and contempt did not exist and they were free to be themselves.  
  
Her smile faded slightly as she leaned closer to Jag. *You may not be ready to admit how you feel about me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore it. By the time we leave Drognan, Jagged Fel, you're going to know exactly how I feel. You're going to know exactly what you mean to me.*  
  
Closing her eyes, she placed a soft kiss on his forehead, her lips a whisper against the curve of the scar.  
  
One of Jag's arms fell from his chest, falling to his side. Jaina stepped back and pulled out the chair next to his. Sitting down carefully in the chair, she watched quietly as Jag slowly began to wake from his slumber.  
  
He blinked several times, opening his eyes, then slowly sat up in the chair. He must have been sleeping in that position for a while for when he sat up, Jag grimaced and stretched his legs. Leaning forward against the table, he folded his arms against the surface then slowly turned to look at her.  
  
Jaina knew in that moment he would always have the power to take her breath away.  
  
"You shouldn't be sitting up like that." he commented, his voice concerned.  
  
"You shouldn't be sleeping like that." she replied, giving him her sweetest smile.  
  
Jag nodded, a small grin tracing his lips. "How do you feel?"  
  
"I'm still a little sore but not as much as before and even after sleeping for what seems like forever, I'm still weary."  
  
"It will take you a few days to get your strength back. Your body suffered quite the trauma."  
  
Jaina pressed her lips together in a grim line and folded her hands in her lap. "How do you feel?"  
  
Sighing heavily, Jag ran his fingers quickly through his hair, slumping a little toward the table. "My leg doesn't hurt as much as it did earlier and I feel like I could sleep for a week. Other than that, I'm fine."  
  
"Were you injured when you landed?" she asked, feeling a little guilty for not asking him earlier if he was all right. She hadn't noticed the limp the night before and when he walked this morning, it was prominent. She hoped he wasn't trying to keep any other injuries from her, that he was ignoring his own well-being to take care of her.  
  
Jag shook his head. "No. When I was carrying you from the lake to this place, I lost my footing and fell and I pulled a muscle when I landed."  
  
She leaned forward a little, mindful of her constantly aching ribs, and placed a hand on his arm. Jag straightened a little, matching her stare. "I'm glad you're okay."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
When he didn't pull away from her touch, Jaina kept her hand on his arm. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, so much that she couldn't share because he wasn't ready to hear it. So, she opted for the simplest one, something he rightly deserved to hear.  
  
Jaina thought about her words quickly, then took a breath. "Jag, I owe you an apology. I never should have deviated from the coordinates that you gave me before we left Borleias. If I had only followed your orders, we wouldn't be here." *Not that I mind in the least that I'm stranded here with you.*  
  
He folded a hand over hers and Jaina's heart skipped a beat at the simple gesture. She didn't know if he was aware he was doing it, but his thumb was slowly rubbing her skin, giving her goose-bumps. "You don't need to apologize. These things happen."  
  
"No." she shook her head. "I disobeyed your orders. If I had stayed on the course you had set, if I had joined you after you had directed me too, we wouldn't be here. This is all my fault and for that, I apologize."  
  
"I don't blame you and we don't need to discuss this any further. It's forgotten."  
  
"We can't forget what happened, Jag. When we get back to Borleias, I'll have a lot of explaining to do and you'll have to tell Wedge what happened. I disobeyed orders from a superior officer and for that I'll be reprimanded." She looked away, turning her gaze toward the windows. The thought of being punished by Wedge for her actions was unbearable. She hadn't even flown with Twins Suns Squadron yet and because she was too stubborn for her own good, she was probably going to be grounded for a little while as punishment.  
  
"Uncle Wedge cannot punish you for something that did not happen."  
  
Jaina turned back to him. Jag's brows were narrowed in deep thought and she sensed a surprising tenacity of his own surface.  
  
"Considering the fact that when we left Borleias we had two ships and now we only have one... I think someone is going to realize that something went wrong."  
  
"Only if we tell them something went wrong."  
  
She stared at him and wondered if he had injured his head upon landing and neglected to tell her. Before she could ask him just that, Jag continued.  
  
"When we exited hyperspace, we came into a mine field. You sustained critical damage and were forced to make a crash landing. I also suffered some damage and was forced to land and because of Drognan's inclement weather, we had to wait for the skies to clear before we could make a safe departure."  
  
Jaina nodded slowly. "That's not the whole truth though. I crashed because I disobey---"  
  
"Your X-Wing is nothing more than pile of scrap metal somewhere on this planet," Jag interrupted. "Your ships logs are lost. I can alter my ship's records to reflect our story, omitting all radio contact that we had prior to your descent into the atmosphere." He paused, nodding slowly to himself. "That could work because I can always make it look like my ship's logs got scrambled when I got hit by the ion mine---"  
  
Jaina was confused. "Ion mine?"  
  
"I'll explain later. I don't suspect anyone will question us about what really happened, but it's best to make sure my records reflect our story just in case my uncle wants to take a look at them." He seemed quite pleased with himself and grinned. His eyes never left hers and Jaina thought she saw a mischievous twinkle in them.  
  
"You can't do that, Jag." she finally said, removing her hand from his and placing it on the table. "I can't ask you to lie to your uncle."  
  
"You're not asking and I'm not lying to him. I'm simply omitting the insignificant parts."  
  
"But why? It doesn't make any sense."  
  
Jag leaned back in the chair, his stare still focused on her. "I may not know the extent of my uncle's plans, but I do realize that you're an important part of whatever he's plotting. If I were to tell him what happened and he was forced to punish you, it could affect the overall outcome of what happens at Borleias and I'm not going to be responsible for that." He folded his arms across his chest. "Besides, haven't you suffered enough on this trip?"  
  
Once again he had surprised her. Within the last twenty-four hours he was showing her little glimpses of the man who truly existed, the one who was not so severe and arrogant. She wished that he would show that side to her more often.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Jag tipped his head in a small bow of acknowledgement. "You're welcome."  
  
Jaina turned her attention to the chest near the doors. "I see your exploration was a success."  
  
Jag glanced over the table at the provisions. "It's not much but it should do for now. Aside from what you see there, I found some candles as well. I had some trouble getting them into the candleholders because the candles are very thick and I broke a holder trying to make it fit. After that, I thought I'd wait until you woke up. I didn't want to disturb you."  
  
Jaina smiled. How thoughtful he was; always putting her needs above his own. She made a promise to herself that she would repay him for all the kindness and compassion he had shown her.  
  
"Did you find any food?"  
  
Jag made a face. "I think I did. There are some canned goods over there and when I shook one of them, it sounded like liquid. I'm hoping it may be soup." He rose from the chair, pushing it out a little from the table in doing so. "If you're hungry, I can crack one open and see what it is?"  
  
"Only if you'll taste it first."  
  
He thought for a moment then looked down at her, the grin returning to his face. "I guess you are going to kill me for stripping you of most of your clothes." He extended a hand to her.  
  
Jaina laughed, accepting his proffered hand. "I've always wanted a Clawcraft of my own."  
  
"Well, if you can find it underneath the snow, it's yours."  
  
They exchanged smiles and Jaina was reminded of the night on Hapes when they had tried to escape the banquet. It was the first time she had seen Jag smile, and the very sight of it stunned her into silence. He was so handsome and when he smiled, his presence in the Force seemed to grow brighter than it already was. She had a feeling it was a gesture that he only granted to those who truly deserved it and she was incredibly happy that he shared it with her.  
  
"I found a small 'fresher down the hallway, the first door on your left. It has a toilet, a sink, and not much else. There are a couple of old cloths on a rack near the sink and you'll find a bar of rather pungent soap in the sink."  
  
"So that's why you smell like that." Jaina teased, looking up at him.  
  
Jag smirked. "Actually, that scent is my natural pheromones. Now you know why I'm not dating anyone."  
  
Again, she laughed. He just made a joke! I wish he would show this side of himself all the time. Jaina stood with his assistance and grimaced when her ribs throbbed again. She looked up at him and noticed that Jag had recognized it too and he looked troubled to see her in pain. How sweet of him to worry about her.  
  
Slowly, Jag walked her over to the double doors. He paused at the chest and picked up the glow rod he had used earlier. "Why don't you go and freshen up a little and I'll get started on supper." He opened the door then gently released his hand from hers. "The faucets stick a little and it takes a few moments for the water to come out and it's a little cold. There's a bigger towel on the rack on the back of the door and it might still be a little damp from when I used it." He gave her an encouraging little push into the hallway. "If you need me, just holler. I'll keep the door open."  
  
Jaina smiled up at him and gently touched his cheek. "Thank you, Jag. For everything."  
  
"Anytime." He nodded then turned to the chest. Grabbing the big pot, the dishes and two of the canned goods, he headed over to the fire and began preparing their supper.  
  
It was colder in the hallway then the dining hall. Her feet felt like they were walking on the snow themselves and the draft from the rest of the house seemed to follow behind her. She walked fast and found the room Jag had described. Pushing the door open, Jaina stepped into the 'fresher.  
  
The room was incredibly narrow, the toilet and sink almost met in the middle of the room. Closing the door, she set the glow rod down on the back of the sink. She hung her clothes on the door handle then undid the binding that Jag had so carefully wrapped around her injured ribs. She didn't want the material to get wet while she washed.  
  
The water was cold just as Jag said, but after several minutes it warmed up just a little. She filled the sink almost to the top, then took her time cleaning up. She was dirty and sticky and the water felt wonderful against her skin. Jaina took her time, enjoying the feeling of being cleaned even though the soap smelled awful. It must have been sitting there forever, she thought.  
  
After almost ten minutes she was done, feeling refreshed once again. She dried herself quickly and slipped back into her clothes. She combed through her hair with her fingers until it didn't feel like a mass of tangles then reached for the binding. Jaina struggled with the material and her efforts to wrap her injury as neatly and effectively as Jag proved fruitless. Grabbing the glow rod and Jag's shirt, she exited the 'fresher and hurried back to the warmth of the dining hall.  
  
When she stepped back into the room, Jag was squatting in front of the fireplace. He had set the big metal pot on casters over the fire and he was using a long wooden spoon to stir the soup. Or what they hoped was soup. The fire created a cozy atmosphere in the dining hall and even the sound of the wind and snow beating on the window had its own calming rhythm.  
  
Jaina placed the glow rod back on the chest then turned back to Jag. He still hadn't looked to her. She closed the door behind her then walked over to the table and placed his shirt on the back of a chair. She knew that he was aware she had returned but he was so intent on fixing supper he hadn't spared her a glance. A slow, mischievous smile crossed her face.  
  
"Jag, could you help me please?"  
  
He turned toward her, half-rising from his spot as he did so, and just as suddenly, he almost fell over when he saw her. Jaina grinned as Jag stared at her, dressed only in the tank top and panties, and she waved the binding in front of her as if it were a banner.  
  
Jag recovered quickly, taking a step over the dishes he had set on the floor. "Certainly."  
  
Jaina handed him the binding, then with her right hand, she raised her tank top up just enough to allow him to bandage her ribs properly. She brought her left hand up to rest on his shoulder and her smile grew even more when she sensed Jag's discomfort. It was just like when he took care of her the first time, only she wasn't taking an anesthetic and she was aware of what she was doing.  
  
His fingers were dexterous and he wrapped the material around her ribs just as neatly as before. Jaina felt a shiver creep up her spine every time his fingers grazed her skin and she wished that his ribs were in need of care too, so she could feel him as intimately as he did with her.  
  
He leaned a little closer, checking over her shoulder to make sure he had secured the binding tightly at the back and Jaina closed her eyes as his breath tickled her bare shoulder. Did he know he had this affect on her?  
  
She felt Jag nod against her shoulder and he began to step back. She opened her eyes and stopped him with her left hand, bringing it from his shoulder to rest against his cheek. He looked at her, perplexed, then before he could say or do anything else, Jaina leaned in and kissed him.  
  
It was a brief, simple kiss; her breath became his, his lips were warm against hers. She sensed his surprise at her actions, felt him hesitate before he responded to her touch. Then as gently as it had started, Jaina pulled away from him, her fingers caressing his cheek.  
  
His eyes were filled with surprise, his presence glowing with wonder. Jaina was aware of Jag's internal struggle regarding her and she suddenly wondered if she had acted too soon. He seemed frozen in his place, unable to articulate in any way what he was thinking right now. Even his presence was wavering between a myriad of emotions.  
  
When he finally found his voice, it was low and harsh when he spoke. "What was that for?"  
  
It was an odd question. It brought a smile to her face. "Thank you for saving me."  
  
Jag nodded slowly and gently removed her hand from his cheek. He picked up his shirt and passed it to her. "Well then," he began, turning away from her to go back to the fireplace, "if that's the reward for saving your life, I'm going to have to make sure I'm around every time you're in danger." 


	12. Chapter 12

***Jaya.  
  
Opening her eyes, she looked around the room. The fire had burned out and the storm had ceased its rhythm against the windows.  
  
Silence.  
  
She reached behind her, searching for Jag's warm body but he was not there. She pushed herself up from the cool stone floor and was surprised to find herself dressed in her flight suit. It still felt damp and was tattered from the crash.  
  
Jaya.  
  
Anakin?  
  
She stood frozen in her place and glanced around the darkened room. She sensed her brother's presence, strong and comforting. Her fingers slid over the handle of her lightsaber and remained there as she crossed the room.  
  
Pushing the double doors open, she stepped out into the hallway. The draft from the broken windows carried the cold breeze throughout the structure and it wrapped around her like a protective shield. She felt it in her veins, her entire body and soul seemed to turn to ice. Moonlight peeked through the cracks of the main doors, casting an eerie radiance around her.  
  
Jaya.  
  
She followed Anakin's voice and turned toward the other end of the hallway. Standing there, dressed in a long dark cloak was a man. The hood was pulled up over his head, concealing his features, but she did not need to see his face. He was looking back at her with the same brandy-brown eyes.  
  
Jacen!  
  
He started to walk down the hall, the light around him fading to darkness. He almost blended in with the shadows, and she would not have seen him if it wasn't for the smooth motion of the cloak moving against the floor.  
  
She went after him, hurrying her steps to match his but he always seemed to be out of her reach. She started to jog when the distance stretched between them even though Jacen did not quicken his pace.  
  
Jacen! Wait!  
  
He continued walking.  
  
Jaya.  
  
She glanced over her shoulder, searching for Anakin. His voice was so close behind her that she expected to see his sweet, innocent face looking at her.  
  
The hallway was empty behind her.  
  
Jacen disappeared around a corner. She ran to follow him and when she rounded the corner, she watched her brother climb three stairs to a door resembling the ones at the entrance to the house. With concealed fingers, Jacen pushed the door open and disappeared behind it. Once he was gone, the door slammed shut behind him, the sound of wood meeting stone almost deafening.  
  
Running up the stairs, she stopped in front of the door and placed tentative fingers against the surface. It was warm to her touch.  
  
Jaya, don't do it.  
  
Ignoring her brother's whispered plea, she pushed the door open and stepped outside.  
  
What she saw brought tears to her eyes.  
  
Fires raged, destroying homes, trees, livestock, and everything else in their paths. Men, women, and children of different species were running for shelter, screaming for their lives to be spared. Some were on fire. Some were missing limbs. All of them cried out for redemption, their fear and agony consuming the Force with the sheer power of it. Yuuzhan Vong warriors were everywhere, butchering every being that passed them, their amphistaffs hungry for blood.  
  
And in the middle of the chaos stood Jacen, his back still to her.  
  
Fighting back tears, she started to run toward him. He was going to get himself killed if he remained ignorant to what was happening around him.  
  
A Vong warrior materialized out of nowhere, leaping toward her from somewhere overhead. Her lightsaber was in her hand and ignited in seconds. The enemy raised his arms to strike and the blade of her weapon sliced through him, severing him in half.  
  
Several more came after her but she fended off each attack. With each death of a warrior, her attacks became more primal, more feral and she called upon her Force training to aid her. Lightning. Destruction. She unleashed all that was dark and revelled in the awesome power she controlled.  
  
Jaya.  
  
Anakin's voice wept with pain.  
  
She stood in the middle of the carnage, her lightsaber still aglow. Jacen glanced over his shoulder at her. His eyes were sad, his lips dropped to a frown. She sensed his disappointment like a blade through her heart.  
  
A Vong warrior appeared from nowhere near Jacen, raising an amphistaff to strike her brother. Jacen raised an arm, bringing the cloak up in front of him as if it were a shield.  
  
He was gone.  
  
No! Jacen! No!***  
  
"No!"  
  
Jaina snapped straight up from the make-shift bed, the sound of her cries bringing her fully awake. Her body shook uncontrollably, her injury flared with sudden pain. Hot tears stung her cheeks. Her breathing was harsh and quick, the image of the dream still coursing through her head.  
  
"Jaina, are you all right?"  
  
She jumped, startled by Jag's soft voice. Jaina turned to him and watched as he blinked against the sleep he had been roused from, his features both tired and alert. He was studying her intently.  
  
"I'm fine." she whispered, not trusting her voice to rise above it. Reaching for his shirt, she pulled it on hastily and fumbled with shaking fingers as she fastened it. She pushed herself up from the floor and cursed against the pain of her ribs.  
  
Before they had fallen asleep, the room had been bathed in firelight and they had talked casually about battle strategies and piloting manoeuvres. The soup had been surprisingly tasty and they had both fallen asleep not long after supper.  
  
Now the room was almost black and she couldn't wait to get away from him.  
  
She wanted to be alone, to think about her dream and to remember her brothers the way they had been before the Yuuzhan Vong invaded the galaxy. Jag had already witnessed some of her weaknesses. She did not want him to see anymore. She was a Solo. She was suppose to be strong.  
  
Jaina leaned heavily against the closest chair, her gaze focused on the surface of the table. She sensed Jag come up behind her and tensed when he placed his hands on her shoulders. His touch should have been comforting. "You were dreaming." It wasn't a question.  
  
"It was nothing." *Go away, Jag. Leave me alone for now.*  
  
"It couldn't have been nothing. You're shaking and you were crying."  
  
His concern was endearing but not welcomed right now. "I don't want to talk about it." She stepped away from him, releasing herself from his touch.  
  
Jag's breath was warm against her neck. "Jaina, please. I don't like seeing you like this."  
  
*Can't he take a hint?* Sighing heavily, she turned and faced him. His pale green eyes sparkled with warmth and concern, and the depths of his compassion sang to her through the Force.  
  
"I was dreaming about my brothers." *There. Now you can leave. Go away.*  
  
He nodded and reached for her, lacing his fingers with hers. "You don't have to hide it from me, Jaina." he began, his voice soft. "I lost a brother and a sister. I've been where you are. I know how you feel."  
  
An unexpected rage suddenly came to life within her and she slapped his hand away as if it were poison. Jag stepped back, surprised and confused by her actions. Jaina glared at him, her anger and pain meshing into one all consuming emotion. The dream was still vivid in her head, her emotions unstable.  
  
"You have no idea what I'm going through!" she hissed, stabbing a finger at him. "Anakin and Jacen were far greater than your brother and sister ever were! How dare you try to compare my losses to yours! You can't possibly understand what I'm going through, so don't even try that 'I know what you're going through' speech with me!"  
  
Her rebuke set off a chain reaction in Jag's presence. An unexpected parade of emotions exposed themselves, threatening to break him. His face grew dark with fury, his eyes glazed over with something akin to menace. The man standing in front of her was someone Jaina had never seen before and the sight of Jag's anger made her take an involuntary step away from him.  
  
"You are not the only person in this universe to experience grief, Jaina Solo! Just because I don't have that Force connection with my family doesn't mean that I don't feel as strongly or as passionately as you do!"  
  
Jag spun away from her, focusing his attention on the fire. He bent at the hearth, grabbed the rusty poker, and started to stoke the dying embers, trying to coax the fire back to life. His body was tense with rage, and Jaina could tell it took all the willpower he had to keep himself from exploding even more.  
  
Since their first meeting at Ithor, she had been aware that Jag was very adept at concealing his thoughts and feelings behind a composure of stone. Here on Drognan, he had opened up to her a little, showing her the true complexity of his character.  
  
And with one statement, she damaged what relationship they had.  
  
They had engaged in a similar conversation on Hapes. Jag had made an attempt to get her to open up about her feelings regarding Anakin and Jacen's deaths and she had accused him of implying that their deaths meant nothing more than the next victim of war. It became clear to her later on that Jag had never intended to imply that, but at the time she'd heard what she wanted to and used it as an excuse to lash out at him.  
  
Didn't she just imply that very same thing to him about his siblings? That their deaths meant nothing?  
  
*You did more than imply it, Jaina.* She was shamed by her behaviour. Her words had pierced through Jag like a vibro-shiv. She had never meant to hurt him, only make him leave her alone for a little while. It seemed that she had effectively done just that.  
  
She ignored the pain in her side, did not wipe the tears from her cheeks as they fell. She quietly paced the room to where Jag was and placed trembling fingers on his shoulder. He stood abruptly, snapping himself away from her touch. His stance was rigid, his hands on his hips. He did not turn to face her.  
  
Jaina hesitated, unsure what to say. She did not want the rest of their stay on Drognan to be surrounded in animosity and contempt, especially since they had been growing closer and becoming comfortable with one another. The feel of his lips against hers when she kissed him still made her heart flutter.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she struggled to maintain her composure. "I didn't mean to imply that the deaths of your brother and sister are insignificant." she started, her voice wavering. "The death of a loved one, especially during wartime, is a considerable loss. To a fellow officer, their friends, their family..."  
  
Jag's defences remained firmly in place and she wondered if he even listened to her. "When Anakin died, I didn't just see it. I *felt* it. I felt his pain, his fear, and his acceptance of what was happening to him. It was different with Jacen. I didn't feel it like I did when Anakin died. I sensed it through the other Jedi that were with me." Her voice faltered and Jaina thought she was going to collapse from the pain in her heart. She felt heavy and weak at the same time. "The Force is unrelenting. The feelings and images of what happened to them will be forever etched in my mind---"  
  
Jag turned around so fast, he startled her. There was only a hairsbreadth between them, yet it felt like miles when she looked into his eyes. "And you don't think that there have been events in my life that are forever *etched* in my mind?" The scar stood out against the reddened fury on his face.  
  
His words were harsh, emphasizing just how much her words had affected him. In that moment, she realized that Jag did not expect her to reason with him. He expected her to rebuke him yet again. He expected her to challenge him. He was anticipating an argument.  
  
Jaina looked away from him, her eyes falling to the floor. This was how it had been on Hapes. She would provoke him into a heated discussion then leave him wondering what exactly had happened between them. She had treated him with so little respect and ignored her own childish behaviour that she had given him no reason to expect anything more. Perhaps that was part of the reason why he was so reluctant to admit how he felt about her, because he didn't want to defend himself against her verbal attacks. The realization was like a blow to the head, and her heart sank.  
  
*All this time he has been trying to help me, even when he hasn't been exactly sure just how to do that. He recognized what Kyp, Tenal Ka, my mother, and others had, and as I did with them, I refused his help.*  
  
Jaina felt the hot sting of a fresh round of tears. The wall she had built around herself was crumbling and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She hesitated for the briefest of moments, then reached out with trembling fingers and gently placed them against his cheek. Jag flinched under her touch, but he did not pull away. She sensed surprise mix with his anger and he was apprehensive about what was going to happen next.  
  
She looked back up at him, fighting the urge to run crying from the room. "I never meant to hurt you. I allowed my grief to manifest into anger, and I took that anger and lashed out at all those around me. I don't know why it happened, but you seemed to take the brunt of my ire."  
  
Her fingers traced back over his scar, through his tousled hair until they rested against the back of his neck. The action brought his head a little closer to hers, their breath meshing into one.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you on Hapes. I'm sorry for the things I said before we left Borleias. I'm sorry for negating your siblings deaths to nothingness. I'm sorry for pushing you away when all you wanted to do was help me. I didn't know how to react and I was angry and filled with so much pain..." Her sentence trailed off as the tears turned into little sobs and her body heaved with the tremors in her soul.  
  
Jag's fingers came up and found hers, bringing them from his neck to rest against his heart. It was as if the anger and the hurt never existed. He seemed a little sad and the concern and compassion from earlier was back, his eyes held an intensity that took her breath away. His other arm came around her, supporting her fragile stance.  
  
"Jaina, you have no reason to apologize to me. You didn't do anything wrong. I was confused by your behaviour on Hapes and that is something that I'm not accustomed to. I've always been in control of my thoughts and feelings. Being uncertain of things is not something I'm good at. You perplexed me and it bothered me that every time we ran into each other on Hapes we did nothing but argue."  
  
He raised his hand to her face. Gently, he traced a finger over a falling tear, wiping it away. "I was never angry at you. I was concerned because of your behaviour. I didn't understand the manner in which you grieved. Even though I grew up different from you, I somehow had the idea that everyone grieved the same way I did. The darkness that shadowed you was like a wall, keeping everyone away."  
  
Jaina choked on a sob, turning her stare away from him. Again, she was shamed by his admissions and the knowledge that she had been so wrong about his man. He was more complex than she had initially thought and the fact that he had recognized her dalliance with the dark side was an acknowledgment she had not been prepared to grant him. His understanding of the Force was scarce and yet he saw right through her.  
  
She felt his fingers trace her jawline, then rest underneath her chin. Drawing her gaze back to him, he gingerly rested his forehead against hers, his voice tender and soothing. "I don't need the Force to understand your pain, and you don't have to be strong all the time, Jaina. Sometimes, it isn't so bad to let someone be your support."  
  
Jaina swayed slightly, feeling light-headed and she leaned heavily against Jag. She brought both her hands to rest on his chest while he wrapped his arms around her. Resting her head against his shoulder, she tried to blink through the haze of her tears.  
  
"I miss my brothers."  
  
And finally, after weeks of keeping her emotions locked away, Jaina wept. 


	13. Chapter 13

Jag sat on the floor, his back against the chair, his legs crossed at the ankles. His attempt to coax the dying embers back to life failed and the room was dimly light. The storm raging against the windows cut through the silence, however Jag was so use to it by now, the sound of creaking glass did not faze him.  
  
Jaina was snuggled against his left side, her head resting on his chest and her left arm was draped over his waist. The aftermath of her dream and the emotions that it had induced had been too much and her legs had given way underneath her. An hour must have past since that moment and as Jag leaned his head back and closed his eyes, he realized suddenly how close he had come to losing her.  
  
He should have heeded her silent warnings and not pressed her about the dream. He couldn't help it, though. Jaina had looked so shell-shocked when she awoke, the sight of her distraught and trembling tore at him. When she had lashed out at him, he had at first been surprised then furious at her harsh words. He should have shown sympathy but instead he raged right back at her.  
  
Anger was something he had always been in control of. He counted it among one of his strongest qualities; to be able to keep his temper in check even during the most trying of times. He had transformed it into arrogance and used that as his method to rebuke whatever or whoever had caused his ire. Jaina had pushed his limits with one statement and his anger at her had been so strong he was tempted to leave the room and spend the rest of their stay elsewhere in the house. He had been on the brink of hating her for that remark about his siblings.  
  
The touch of her hand on his cheek had been his undoing. The look of pain and sadness and fear that had filled her eyes when she apologized to him was enough to break his heart. Her fingers had trembled, her eyes brimmed with tears, and her voice was strangely quiet. She had allowed her guard to drop and she finally released all of the emotions she had kept hidden away since her brothers died.  
  
He wished that he could bring them back to her, even if it meant dying himself to do it.  
  
Jaina shifted beside him and Jag opened his eyes. She had cried herself to sleep and he did not have the heart to disturb her, so he sat up uncomfortably against the chair and tried to get some rest. His arm was wrapped around her, his fingers rested on her arm. He could feel the warmth of her skin beneath the fabric and he was glad that she was slowly getting better. Her stay in the med-ward on Borleias would be short.  
  
"Jag?"  
  
He almost didn't hear her, so quiet was her voice. Jag looked down at Jaina, her head still resting against his chest. So, she hadn't fallen asleep. He wondered if she had been using the Force to listen to his thoughts, or however that worked. Once he would have shut himself off from her. Now, he found he didn't want to hide anymore.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will it ever go away?"  
  
Jag stared at the top of her head for a moment, perplexed by her question. He realized what she was asking him and sighed heavily. *Will the pain ever go away? How to answer that?* He had never really thought about it before.  
  
"No." he finally answered. "But it will get easier."  
  
Jaina sat up and turned, sitting cross-legged next to him. The material of the shirt bunched in front of her, exposing her legs. She rested a hand gently against his thigh and despite the barrier of his pants, Jag could feel the softness of her fingers.  
  
"Has it become easier for you?"  
  
Jag blinked and stared at her, surprised by her question. He hadn't thought about Davin and Cherith in that context for so long; so much had happened in recent years that his attention had been diverted elsewhere. He still thought of them, yes, but had his pain become easier to deal with?  
  
Jaina must have sensed his hesitation for she didn't ask him again. Her brandy-brown eyes stayed focused on his face. Jag sighed again. He would answer any question she asked him, she deserved that much after sharing her grief over her brothers with him. She had been brave to do so.  
  
"It doesn't hurt as much as it did in the beginning. It's been eight years since Davin died and three since Cherith's death." The mention of their names stirred something deep inside him.  
  
"Do you still think of them a lot?"  
  
"Always."  
  
She pressed her lips together in a grim line, her fingers began to gently caress his thigh. "Did you cry?"  
  
Jag grinned despite himself. He should have thought it a silly question, but given his cool demeanour towards her on more than one occasion, it was easy for her think him as unfeeling. "I may have been raised among the Chiss, but that doesn't mean I'm inhuman." Jaina blushed and looked away. "Yes, I did cry. In fact, I cried a good deal."  
  
Jaina looked back at him, the tinge of red still spotting her cheeks. She was studying him with an intensity that most times made him uncomfortable. It was strange that now he felt he could tell her anything, wanted to share every aspect of his life with her.  
  
She seemed to sense it too for her expression became serious, her fingers stopped their caress. "How did your sister die?"  
  
He had been preparing himself for that question and yet it still surprised him. Jag straightened against the chair and folded his arms across his chest. They continued to stare at each other and Jaina waited patiently for him to answer, perhaps knowing that the retelling of the story would be difficult. He had never spoken of Cherith's death to anyone except family, and even now it was barely mentioned. The pain it caused his family, especially his mother, was just too great.  
  
"Cherith was a co-pilot on a modular conveyor, The Gateway. It was a cargo freighter that often times would run supplies to our furthest outposts. Cherith was the most sociable of all of the Fel children, she liked getting to know people and learning about their cultures. People never would have thought she was a pilot. She had our mother's delicate features. You know, movie star good looks."  
  
A smile touched his lips as her recalled his sister. Cherith had been a year younger that him yet she behaved like the older sibling. All of his sisters were lovely in their own right, but there was something about Cherith that captivated everyone she'd met. She'd had more suitors than their mother's movie credits.  
  
"She sounds beautiful, both inside and out."  
  
Again, her voice had been so quiet, it startled him. Jag cleared his throat, bringing himself back to the present. "Yes, she was."  
  
The memory of the day she had died lingered in his thoughts and he briefly wondered if he had the strength to share it. He fought against his uncertainty and continued.  
  
"We had been having problems with Norlackian pirates at the time and the convoy she was travelling with had been ambushed. They couldn't get a call off to Nirauan for assistance so the convoy sent out a general distress call. I had been training some new pilots several systems away when I heard that The Gateway and the rest of the convoy were in trouble."  
  
It felt like a lump had formed in his throat for he almost choked on the last sentence. Jag felt his body tense, an instant reaction that always came over him when a discussion turned too personal. He tried to relax but failed. His heart seemed to contract with each word he took, his thoughts were becoming clouded.  
  
Jaina squeezed his thigh gently, a silent gesture of comfort and understanding. He suddenly found himself unable to look at her, so he diverted his gaze to the fire.  
  
"My squadron arrived in system some distance away from the fighting, but it was clear what was happening. The convoy was heavily outnumbered by Carrack- class cruisers and Marauder starfighters. One of the freighters blew up instantly and another one was being bombarded by turbolaser fire from the cruisers.  
  
"I transmitted a message to the convoy, telling them that we were en route, but even as I did that, I could see The Gateway trying to get away from the battle. It was listing badly to port and was crawling along at an unbearably slow speed."  
  
"Had the hyperdrive been knocked out?"  
  
Jag nodded, still unable to look at her. His mind replayed the moments so clearly in his head and his heart thumped in his chest as the sound of his sister's voice flooded his thoughts.  
  
*There's nothing you can do, Jag. You're too far away and we're outnumbered. I've diverted all power to the engines and I'm trying to get us away from the main battle.  
  
We're only three hundred and seventy kilometers away. We'll be there momentarily and we'll escort you safely---  
  
Jagged, listen to me! There's not enough time. Get to the battle and help the other ships. You can't protect me this time, big brother.  
  
Cherith, there is always---  
  
Tell the family I love them. I love you, Jag. Good-bye.*  
  
The modular conveyor exploded and his sister was gone.  
  
"Jag?"  
  
He jumped, snapping his stare back to her. Jaina's eyes glistened with unshed tears and he was suddenly aware of the moistness on his right cheek. Jag raised his hand and brushed the tear away as if it were poisonous to the touch. He cursed himself for his lack of restraint.  
  
"You don't have to tell me the rest."  
  
"I'm fine." His answer was defiant despite the shiver along his spine. Jag continued before Jaina could say another word. "After The Gateway exploded, my squadron and the other fighters made short work of the pirates. We focused our main attack on the cruisers since the Norlackian Marauders were not equipped with hyperdrives. Once their support and transport ships were out of the way, we decimated the remaining ships. We did not show them mercy. I did not relent until every single Marauder was turned into space dust."  
  
The sorrow in Jaina's eyes echoed his own and somehow he knew that the pain she felt now was not for her own losses. How kind of her to show him such sympathy.  
  
Jag cleared his throat, lowering his gaze while doing so. "It's difficult when a parent must tell their child that their sibling is dead. I had no idea what I was going to say to my father when I arrived back on Nirauan. I never thought I'd ever have to do something like that. My father was in the middle of a meeting when I interrupted him. At first he was angry that I had barged in, but I think he recognized something on my face, for he told everyone to leave. When we were alone he asked me what had happened and I couldn't say the words."  
  
He looked back up at Jaina, forcing the tears to stay hidden away. "My legs felt heavy beneath me and I just collapsed. Then I started crying and my father understood then that Cherith was gone."  
  
"Oh, Jag." her voice was barely a whisper. Jaina raised her hand to his arm and she gently brought his fingers to intertwine with hers. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Her fingers offered him a surprising comfort. Jag nodded slowly and something deep inside him seemed to rise to the surface, emotions he had long kept hidden, and he suddenly had the feeling that if he didn't acknowledge the changes sweeping over him, he would forever be caught in the same tangle of pain and grief that Jaina had been.  
  
He hadn't been aware that such profound feelings existed in him. Or perhaps he had been aware of it and closed himself to those emotions, knowing that the sheer power of them could weaken him in ways he was not willing to display.  
  
"It was different when Davin died." he said suddenly. *Talking about Davin will be much easier. It's been eight years since he died. It's not as fresh in my mind as Cherith's death.* Even as the thought entered his head, Jag knew he was lying to himself.  
  
"Jag, you don't have to tell me about your brother if you're not comfortable with it." Jaina shifted her sitting position and was now kneeling next to him. Her fingers remained locked with his, her stare soft and warm.  
  
He grinned slightly and thought it ironic how only an hour ago he was offering her comfort. "I'm fine, Jaina. Really. You talked a little about Anakin and Jacen. It's only fair that I tell you a little about Cherith and Davin."  
  
"You don't have to."  
  
"No, I don't. I want to."  
  
She truly looked surprised by that and Jag wondered how it was possible that she could look even more lovely then she did ten seconds ago. Folding his other hand over hers, Jag took another breath then went on.  
  
"I was thirteen at the time. Summers on Nirauan are quite stunning. The colours in the sky just before the sun rises in the morning are breathtaking. Davin and my father were rarely home and I was on leave from the academy for a few weeks."  
  
He stopped, hesitating. He had been fooling himself. The memories of that day and what followed slammed against his thoughts. He felt claustrophobic and wished desperately that the storm would subside so he could get in his ship and return to Borleias, leaving behind all these unfamiliar emotions.  
  
Jaina grinned slightly, encouraging him to continue. Jag squeezed her fingers in acknowledgment as he thought about his next words. *Where to begin?*  
  
He decided to just say it before the memories overcame him and prevented any coherent thought.  
  
"Our home was near the beach and that's where my sisters, Inez and Reina, had been that morning. I had just woken up and my mother was making breakfast for me. I told her I could do it myself, but she didn't trust anyone else in the kitchen. Something about it never being cleaned up afterward..."  
  
Jag looked away, focusing his gaze on the nondescript shape of the chest near the door. His home had been so happy in those days. Life had been simple and carefree. He swallowed past the lump in his throat.  
  
"I had just sat down to eat when we heard a speeder approaching. My mother had gone to the window and when she saw my father stop and get out, the smile left her face and she suddenly looked ill. She rushed out to meet him and I got up from the table and went to the window to watch, taking my food with me.  
  
"I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I didn't need to. My mother collapsed in my father's arms, crying and screaming Davin's name. I dropped the plate as I watched them fall to the ground, my father holding her while she wept. Inez and Reina had been coming up to greet him when they saw our parents like that. Reina started to cry as well and Inez went to comfort her. Reina ran into the house and locked herself in her room while Inez turned and started walking down the beach. She didn't like anyone seeing her cry."  
  
He felt the warmth of her fingers against his jaw as Jaina drew his stare back to her. Jag pursed his lips in a grim line and found he could not meet her gaze. A feeling deep inside his soul stirred and threatened to coil up and wrap him in its embrace. He focused on an invisible point on the wall behind Jaina's head. He hadn't felt this raw, this open, in years.  
  
"Were you close to your brother?"  
  
Jag nodded, still not trusting himself to look into her eyes. "I idolized him. When he was accepted into the academy, I thought he was the coolest guy in the Unknown Regions. I'd brag to my friends that my brother was going to be the best fighter pilot in the galaxy."  
  
"He would have been very proud of you."  
  
"I'd like to think so." The lump in his throat seemed to grow, his breath felt constricted. He could stop now and Jaina wouldn't be the wiser. It would be easy to just forget the rest. He should have stopped, spared himself the memories of reliving those saddened moments.  
  
Instead, he took a deep breath and continued.  
  
"I don't know how long I stood there. Inez disappeared down the beach and my parents came inside. Mother went to comfort Reina and my father came to talk to me. I just stood there, unmoving. Unfeeling. It was the first time I had experienced death and I refused to accept that Davin was gone."  
  
Jag's voice was shaky, his words seemed to stumble across his tongue in a desperate attempt to remain mute. The sound of it surprised him.  
  
"I remember looking at my father and wondering how he could stand there as if nothing had happened. His expression was calm, his eyes focused. Father said that Davin had died in combat and that he had identified what was left of his body. I lost my temper then. I didn't feel grief or pain or remorse. I was angry. I said that if Davin was truly dead he'd show some kind of emotion and that he wouldn't be treating his son's death as another statistic.  
  
"Fathers were suppose to protect their children and mine had failed. I blamed him for Davin's death, and I told him exactly that. I told him that if he had been a better father Davin would still be alive. I said he killed my brother and that I hated him. He slapped me and I left the house, heading in the opposite direction that Inez had taken."  
  
Had the temperature in the room dropped rapidly or was the cold coursing through his veins? Jag slumped heavily against the chair, pulling his hands away from Jaina's. He nervously tapped his fingers against the back of his other hand, bringing his head down to stare at them.  
  
"When you said that you understood how I was feeling, you didn't just mean the sorrow. You meant the anger as well." He heard Jaina sigh. "I never thought you would have been so angry. Just sad."  
  
Jag shook his head slowly. "I was furious at my father. I didn't speak to him, didn't even acknowledge his presence when he was near. I shut myself off from everyone because they were all willing to just accept that Davin was gone. I wasn't ready to do that and I repeatedly told myself that he wasn't dead.  
  
"My parents held a wake for him at the house the next night and many of his friends, fellow pilots, and military personnel were there. Even members of the Chiss parliament had come to pay their respects. I spent that night locked in my room, hating every one of them.  
  
"At the memorial service I stayed in the back of the room because I thought if I sat up front with my family I would be accepting what had happened. I didn't want to do that. I knew that it was foolish but I clung to the hope that Davin would walk in, alive and well, and everything would be okay again. When my father got up to speak, I left and waited outside for the service to end."  
  
Jag's voice faltered and it took every bit of strength he had to keep from breaking down. Why, after eight years, was the memory of Davin's death so painful? He had come to terms with it long ago. Perhaps it was a mistake to talk about his siblings. It had opened up too many unwanted emotions and he cursed each one of them for breeching his barriers, for bringing about an invulnerability he did not want Jaina to see. He was suppose to be strong. His failings shamed him.  
  
He couldn't look at her, did not want to see pity in her eyes. He would finish the tale then get up and leave the room. He was on the brink of despair and he would not allow Jaina to witness it.  
  
"After the service, everyone left the assembly room and went their separate ways. I don't know how long I stood there but after everyone had left, I went back inside. I don't know why. I just felt like I had to be in there." A tear streamed down his cheek and he took an angry swipe at it. "At the front of the room next to Davin's casket was a picture of him that had been taken when he graduated from the academy. He was smiling as if something had made him laugh. It was Mother's favourite photo of him.  
  
"When I went back inside, my parents were the only two people still there. Father was leaning over the casket, his arms stretched out over the surface like he was embracing it. His shoulders slumped, he bowed his head, and his whole body shook. Mother wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head against his. I stood there and watched as General Baron Soontir Fel cried.  
  
"In that moment, everything I knew about my father changed. He became something more than I ever dreamed. He wasn't a pilot. He wasn't a general. He wasn't made of stone or callous or uncompromising . He was simply a man. The greatest man I'd ever known. I approached them and my mother turned and held her hand out to me and I went to her. The three of us sat on the floor at Davin's casket and cried."  
  
Jag was aware that his cheeks were moist. He silently cursed himself for allowing the tears to fall but he was immensely thankful that he didn't break down and weep. With the same intensity that the memories of Cherith and Davin had come to him, they disappeared. The feeling that had been stirring in his soul was still there and it ebbed its way into his heart.  
  
He felt Jaina's fingers underneath his chin and he hesitated briefly when she brought his head up to meet her gaze. Her cheeks were wet with her tears and her bottom lip trembled slightly. Her hair was tousled over her shoulders and down her back, her eyes puffy and red from when she'd wept earlier.  
  
She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  
  
Jaina took his hand and laced her fingers with his while her other hand moved from his chin to his left cheek. She traced a finger over the spot where a tear had fallen. "Oh, Jag." her voice was a breathy sigh. "If I had known that I would cause you this much pain when I asked you about Cherith, I never would have said a word."  
  
He forced a small grin to his face, and felt her fingers tighten around his. "After she died, I swore to myself that I would never feel that way again. I built up a wall around me and I refused to let anything get past it. I was doing a damn good job of it too until I saw you in the lake."  
  
His voice still sounded coarse to his ears and he struggled to make himself heard. "I told you about Davin and Cherith because I wanted to, Jaina. You had unwittingly shared your grief over Anakin and Jacen, I thought it was fitting to tell you about them."  
  
"To help me realize that you truly did understand my suffering?"  
  
"In a way, yes. I just didn't realize how much I was still suffering until now." He heaved a short sigh, surprised by that admission.  
  
Jaina leaned a little closer, trailing her fingers from his cheek to touch the shape of his jaw. She slid her fingers downward and felt the outline of his mouth. "I guess we have more in common than I thought we did."  
  
"I guess we do." he whispered. Jaina's eyes focused on his mouth, as if the movement of his lips against her fingers was enchanting to her. He brought his hand up and weaved his fingers through her tousled, silky hair. Gently drawing her closer, he removed her hand from his mouth, then touched his lips to hers.  
  
Tender and sweet, her lips were warm against his. It was nothing like when she kissed him before. That kiss had surprised him and he had been unsure of what to do. This time, it was much different. The slow, exquisite kiss took him over, stole his breath, and changed the beat of his heart.  
  
Jaina's fingers moved from his shoulder to his hair. Her lips moved slowly against his, almost poignantly. Jag tugged gently, angling her head, opening his mouth against hers. His lips moved in a delectable rhythm, rising and falling, opening and closing.  
  
She tipped her head back and Jag felt a shiver sweep over him. She followed the rhythm he set, her lips moving earnestly with his.  
  
He separated his lips reluctantly from hers. Jaina opened her eyes, the smile on her face the most radiant thing he had ever seen. She dropped her hand from his hair to rest it against his thigh, while her other hand squeezed his gently.  
  
"What was that for?" she asked, repeating the question he had asked her when she'd kissed him.  
  
He continued to weave his fingers through her hair, enjoying the feel of its softness against his skin. "Thank you." he replied, almost breathless.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For helping to make that pain a little easier to deal with."  
  
Her smile seemed to lengthen, carrying right up into her eyes. Jaina said nothing as she resumed her spot against his left side, snuggling up against him. Jag wrapped his arm around her once more, pulling her a little closer. Jaina draped her arm across his waist, brought her leg up to cover his. He heard her contented sigh as she rested her head against his chest.  
  
Jag leaned his head against the chair and closed his eyes. The feeling that had been stirring inside him suddenly became familiar and it was something he hadn't experienced in a very long time. It washed over him and carried away all the pain and anger and guilt, taking it to a place where it could no longer touch him.  
  
He was free. 


	14. Chapter 14

The first thing Jag noticed when he woke the next day was that he was alone in the dining hall. The room was bathed in the soft glow of the fire as well as several thick candles that were sitting on the mantle of the fireplace, their gentle light adding a little more brightness to the room.  
  
The second thing that he noticed was that the drape they had been using as a top blanket had been pulled up over him, stopping at his waist and leaving his upper body exposed.  
  
The third thing he noticed was that yet again, he felt as if he had be squashed by an Imperial Walker. No, that wasn't true. He felt as if a fleet of Star Destroyers had dropped from orbit, landing squarely on him.  
  
Sleep had never been so uncomfortable. Jag groaned as every part of him ached from sitting upright all night. His back felt as if it would snap in two if he made any attempt to get up from the floor and his neck seemed detached from the rest of his body. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes but even that effort was strained. Making a mental note to never fall asleep against the back of a chair while sitting on the floor again, Jag pushed himself up. He grasped the back of the chair and balanced himself. He couldn't wait to return to Borleias, if only to get a good night's sleep.  
  
The heavy metal pot was resting on the casters over the fire. Jag walked over to the hearth and saw that Jaina had started their meal, the thick broth was already bubbling in the pot. He gave the soup a quick stir, stifling a yawn while doing so. Jag stretched and walked back over the table. He pulled a chair out, sat down, and glanced at his wrist chrono. It was early afternoon but the fact that he'd slept the morning away didn't bother him. The realization that it had been three days since they left Borleias unnerved him greatly.  
  
*You have three days, Jag. If you're not back in three days or if I have had no contact with you since then, I'll have to assume the worst. I can't afford to send people after you.*  
  
His uncle's words came back to him and Jag sighed heavily as he thought back on that particular conversation. Wedge trusted him completely with the mission to Kesna, had shown him a great deal of respect even though he didn't like the idea of sending his nephew on a recon mission alone. Jag had admired his uncle for making that decision and had made a silent vow that he would not disappoint Wedge.  
  
They were still trapped on Drognan and the storm outside did not show any signs of letting up enough to allow them to leave.  
  
Jag leaned forward, propping his elbows up on the table and rested his head in his hands. He hated the fact that his uncle would be concerned about him, would think the worst had happened even though he was alive and safe. He hated the fact that Iella and his cousins would worry over him as well. The girls were still very young and they had witnessed too much in the last couple of years. He didn't like the fact his disappearance would cause them pain. He didn't know the Antilles family very well yet he knew somehow that if something had happened to him, they would grieve for him as if they had known him forever.  
  
As much as a part of him wished he could stay here with Jaina, he couldn't wait to get back to Borleias. He looked forward to taking Myri for a spin around the base in his ship; looked forward to playing with Syal. Jag grinned at the thought of Syal torturing his poor boy dolls.  
  
Jaina still hadn't returned to the dining hall and Jag guessed that she had gone to the 'fresher to wash up. After last night it was probably best that they spend a little time away from each other.  
  
He had never talked about the deaths of Davin and Cherith to anyone before. The memories of times they had shared together and the moment when they had been ripped from his life had been too difficult to mention. He had locked everything away deep inside and told himself that he would never mention them again, except in the presence of family.  
  
Yet he had been comfortable enough to share his pain with Jaina.  
  
He had never spoken of his father unless it was in military context. To do so would be to reveal too much about a man who has continually remained a mystery to many. General Baron Soontir Fel had a reputation to uphold and it was that reputation that made both his allies and enemies fear him. His father did not like his personal life broadcast to others and he expected his son to behave in the same manner.  
  
Yet he had been comfortable enough to speak openly about his father with Jaina.  
  
He had always kept his personal life private. He never talked about his social activities to anyone, never shared his hopes or dreams with anyone outside of family. He maintained his disciplined visage in the presence of everyone and refused to allow anyone to come between himself and his career.  
  
Yet he had been comfortable enough to talk about the saddest moments of his life with Jaina.  
  
He had never allowed himself to let personal feelings interfere with his duties and responsibilities. He had witnessed too much death and sorrow in recent years and he strived to maintain professional relationships with those around him so that if death were to claim one of his pilots or fellow officers, the pain of their loss wouldn't be so hard to bare.  
  
Yet he had kissed Jaina with a passion he had never knew existed in him.  
  
And he wanted desperately to feel the press of her lips against his again.  
  
He dropped his hands to the surface of the table, the fingers of his right hand gently resting against the handle of Jaina's lightsaber. With the release of long-buried emotions came new and wondrous ones that blossomed from somewhere deep inside him. They mixed together, seemingly becoming one emotion that he could not decipher and their very presence confused him. These feelings were strange and exciting and overwhelming and he wondered if he would be able to contain any of them.  
  
The gentle press of fingers against his shoulders should have surprised him. Instead, Jag leaned back against the chair and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Jaina's touch. When was the last time he had felt so relaxed and at ease? It seemed like a lifetime ago.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice soft. Her fingers slowly began to massage some of the stiffness from his shoulders and neck.  
  
"It's nothing. I'm fine." He opted to feign ignorance to her question. She had been through enough in the last few days and there was no reason for her to worry about him.  
  
"I would think that someone of your intelligence would know that you can't keep secrets from a Jedi." If it was possible, Jag imagined he could almost hear her smile.  
  
"What makes you think I'm keeping secrets?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because you're as tense as a tauntaun on ball bearings. Or maybe it's because I can sense a conglomerate of emotions in you, most of which I can't identify." Her fingers continued to gingerly kneed his shoulders. "What's wrong?" she asked again.  
  
Jag's eyes opened, his stare fixed on the surface of the table. He shouldn't have been surprised by her admittance of being aware of his thoughts and feelings yet he found that he was. Part of him wanted to close his mind to all conscious thought and block any of her Jedi powers from reading his mind. He felt violated in some way, knowing that his thoughts would never truly be his own when he was around her.  
  
The other part of him, however, didn't want to hide any longer. He had spent most of his life keeping his emotions in check and it was refreshing to be able to express himself in a way he had never known. He wanted her to know how he felt about her; wanted her to know that she had brought down the wall around his heart and soul, rendering him helpless whenever she was in his presence.  
  
Jag blew out a long breath. "I was thinking about my uncle."  
  
"You don't want him to worry about you."  
  
"He wasn't very pleased about allowing me to come to Kesna alone. He was even more adamant when I told him you'd be joining me." Jaina's fingers went from the fabric of his shirt to the back of neck where the skin was bare. Her fingers were warm and soft against his flesh and their circular motion not only helped ease some of the stiffness, it was driving him to distraction.  
  
"When Uncle Wedge agreed to this mission, we made an agreement that I--we-- would return in three days. He can't spare enough ships to scour the entire sector on a search and rescue mission." Jag's hands fell from the table to his lap. "This is the third day and there's no way we're going to be back on Borleias by midnight."  
  
Jaina's fingers slid upward along his neck and into his hair. Her actions were gentle and sweet and she continued the massage in the same manner, running her fingers back down over his shoulders, down along his arms then back again to the base of his neck. He didn't want her to stop.  
  
"I'm sure Wedge knows you're all right." she said, her breath was warm against his neck. "Mom, Uncle Luke, and Aunt Mara would know if something bad happened to me and as long as they know I'm okay, then it's safe to say that you're okay too. They'll let Wedge know if he starts to worry too much."  
  
"It's strange, you know. Wedge is my uncle and I hardly know him, yet he and his family treat me as if they have known me all my life. Intellectually, I know that we're family yet I still don't know how to address him or behave around him sometimes." A small grin touched his lips. "Does that sound weird to you?"  
  
Jaina came around the chair and looked down at him. Her hair was damp and pulled back in a ponytail and she smelled of the awful soap he had found in the 'fresher. She didn't look as pale as she did the day before and her eyes were more alert than they had been since the crash. In fact, her eyes seemed to sparkle and her expression was more calm and relaxed than he had seen her in recent days.  
  
"No, it's doesn't seem weird. You're still getting to know him and his family. It probably feels a little strange to him at times. Wedge is one of the kindest, most sincere men I know and I think he's become fond of you so fast because you're his sister's son. He probably sees a lot of her qualities in you."  
  
Jag nodded. "The rift between my mother and Uncle Wedge has been there longer than I've been alive. I don't know all the particulars of their estrangement but I hope that my being at Borleias is somehow helping to bridge that gap. My mother will be very surprised and happy to learn that one of his daughters is named for her." He turned his head up to meet Jaina's gaze and the very sight of her stole his breath away.  
  
Jaina sat down on his lap and Jag nearly fell out of the chair from the shock. She smiled at him while moving his hand to bring it around her waist, securing her safely on his knee. He blinked at her several times before he realized that one arm had snaked around his neck while her other arm came against his chest, her fingers resting against him.  
  
"I've seen some of your mother's movies. She's very beautiful." she spoke quietly, her fingers at the base of his neck gently rubbing his skin.  
  
"Thank you. She hasn't changed much in her appearance over the years, except that her hair is a little gray now." *And she always looks a little sad, no matter how cheerful she may seem.*  
  
"You mentioned something yesterday about an ion mine." Jaina said, changing the subject as if she sensed that discussing his mother was a heartbreaking topic for him.  
  
"Yes. I noticed when I had gotten closer to your last known position in orbit that the proximity mines were cloaked and that the ion mines were constructed using MagPulse technology." Was it possible that his brain was beginning to turn to mush? That he was having trouble thinking clearly?  
  
"MagPulse technology? I've never heard of that." Jaina tilted her head, her eyes transfixed on his face.  
  
He had to take a deep breath before speaking. "I'm surprised you've not heard of it since it was developed by a group of Rebels not long after the Emperor's death." He felt a shiver creep along his spine as Jaina's hand moved from his chest to his face. Her fingers trailed along his jaw, across his chin, then down along his throat. Her actions were slow and deliberate and it was clouding his every move and every thought.  
  
"They were designed originally as torpedoes and they have the ability to penetrate a ship's shields and cause internal damage. If used properly, MagPulse torpedoes, or in this case, ion mines, can be used to disable any vessel, from fighters to capital ships." His hand around her back tightened slightly, almost possessively, while his other hand came and rested on her knee. Her legs were exposed underneath the material of his shirt and the smooth, creamy feel of her skin against his palm flooded him with a warmth like none he had every known.  
  
"So, I was not only getting hit by proximity mines, I was being effectively disabled by MagPulse ion mines." Her voice was barely a whisper and her smile dropped a little, becoming more serious in nature.  
  
"That appears to be the case."  
  
It was impossible for him to be so near to Jaina, to hold her in his arms and not give in to this moment. Jaina leaned closer to him, wrapped both arms around his neck and closed her eyes. He leaned against the soft curves of her body and pressed his lips against hers.  
  
He swept the tip of his tongue into her mouth, his hand pressed firmly at her back, bringing her closer to him. Jaina sighed and he wanted to capture the sound, inhale it. Her lips were soft and sweet, her opened-mouth gasp an invitation to continue. Her arms around his neck pulled him to her, returning his kiss with fervor. He tightened his embrace while deepening the kiss and he felt as if he were coming to life for the first time, that everything before this moment had been but a shadow of the sensations pouring through him.  
  
Jaina released her stranglehold around his neck and brought her hands in front of her. She matched his touch with the same depth of emotion and desire he felt. She tugged desperately at his shirt and when her fingers found their way underneath the material to rest against the bare skin of his chest, Jag pulled back, blinking in surprise at Jaina's bold actions.  
  
Her eyes were soft and filled with a longing that echoed in himself. Jag gently lifted her off her his lap and came to stand in front of her. Jaina pressed her lips together, her face flushed, yet her expression seemed almost mischievous.  
  
"I think it would be best to stop right there." he said, reaching out to gently stroke her cheek. The words sounded awkward to his ears. "If we continue, I'm afraid I won't be held responsible for my actions."  
  
To his surprise, Jaina smiled. "Who said anything about you being responsible?"  
  
Jag's brows shot up and the thought of what could have happened played through his mind. He suddenly decided that a nice cold shower would be a great thing. Unfortunately, he'd have to settle for a cold washing from the little sink in the 'fresher.  
  
Jaina laughed then leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Go wash up and when you get back, I'll have the soup and ration bars ready." She winked, then turned and headed over to the fire.  
  
A grin touched his face as he watched Jaina kneel down at the fire. She picked up the wooden spoon and began to stir the broth, humming a little tune while doing so. Jag ran a hand through his tousled hair and walked over to the double doors. He felt as if he hung over a precipice, the moment both breathless and frightening.  
  
And after that short, passionate kiss, every thought but one had been stripped from his mind. Of all the emotions that were swirling around inside him, there was only one that he could recognize. One emotion that seemed to glow brighter than all the rest and it sang from the very depths of his soul.  
  
Love.  
  
And it was all for Jaina. 


	15. Chapter 15

Jaina watched Jag leave the dining hall, her stare lingering even as the double doors closed behind him. For the first time in weeks she felt as if a portal had been opened inside her soul, swallowing up all the dark and saddened emotions that had been haunting her, taking them to a place where they could no longer touch her. The grief and pain of losing Anakin and Jacen would always be with her, but this morning it wasn't as consuming as before.  
  
She turned her attention back to the metal pot and slowly began to stir the thick broth. The dying fire provided just enough heat to warm the soup, for it was bubbling a little more than she thought it would. Her stare focused on the embers, her thoughts drifting back to last night.  
  
The dream about Anakin and Jacen had come to her many times before and as she had done then, she woke up screaming and crying for her brothers to come back to her. She had always been alone during those moments and she had kept her pain and sorrow to herself. No one could understand how she felt and she had refused to let anyone comfort her. It was better to disconnect herself with those around her, so that when the time came for her to join her brothers in death, it wouldn't be as hard for them.  
  
Last night, Jag had witnessed the moment when she stirred from the dream. Jaina sighed, remembering how she had treated him upon waking. She had been cold and spiteful. She had been caught up in the emotion of the dream, of losing her brothers once again, and she had lashed out at Jag. Again. She had brutalized him with words so often since Hapes she wondered sometimes why he bothered to even speak to her.  
  
When she had realized that she had crossed a boundary with him, angered and upset him more than she intended, she apologized and in turn she broke down sobbing in his arms. Jag had been considerate and understanding. He had sat with her on the floor while she cried, his fingers gingerly stroking her hair while he held her close. She had felt safe in his arms; had sensed his affection and his sympathy for what she was going though. She had wanted to stay in his embrace forever.  
  
After the tears had passed and she had regained most of her composure, they had sat together on the cold stone floor and talked about death and pain and loss. He had spoken of the deaths of his sister and brother and at some point during that conversation, Jaina finally saw the man behind the stern facade, saw a man who ached with a pain so remarkably similar to hers it crushed her spirit and moved her heart.  
  
Jaina had once wondered about what kind of man he was beneath his military exterior. She had seen glimpses of that man since they left Borleias yet he always seemed to guard his thoughts and feelings still, as if he wasn't completely sure how to express them. His kindness and compassion while he tended her injuries indicated a gentle spirit. He had laughed and smiled a little more often, not great feats for the normal person, but for Jag it was a like a new experience for him each time he did either one of those things. She had sensed wonder and surprise and joy in him and each time she felt those emotions rise in him, she couldn't help but smile.  
  
Jaina leaned over the pot and checked the soup. It smelled and looked disgusting but fortunately in this case, scent and appearance were deceiving. She rose from the hearth, mindful of her injury, and walked over to the naked window. The storm raged on, the sound of snow and wind a constant thrum throughout the room. She leaned against the wall and folded her arms across her chest.  
  
Last night Jag had spoken to her about the deaths of his siblings and it wasn't until that moment did she realize just how much he truly did understand what she was going through. Even though years had passed since Cherith and Davin had died, the pain of their loss still caused Jag a great deal of heartache. He was very adept at hiding it and she never would have guessed how much he still missed them if he hadn't opened up a little and talked to her about it.  
  
She felt unshed tears settle in her eyes as the memory of last night came to her. She had sensed Jag struggle to maintain his composure, had felt him fight against his own pain so he could share with her how his siblings had died. She hadn't expected him to show her so much raw emotion and the image of the defiance on his face as a tear rolled down his cheek broke her heart. He experienced survivor's guilt as well and just as she was doing now, he struggled against it every day.  
  
Jaina closed her eyes, slumping a little against the wall. The retelling of their deaths had been hard on him, more difficult than he had imagined. She had felt him waver several times, deliberating over telling her the rest and each time he had continued, Jaina had sensed his sadness as sharply as if it were her own. He had looked away from her often, did not want her to see how much the memories still haunted him. She understood that feeling completely, she had been doing the very same thing since Myrkyr.  
  
When he had finished telling her about Davin, the Force exposed her to all the emotions he had unwittingly been feeling. Pain. Sorrow. Guilt. Heartache. Loneliness. She had wanted to console him the same way he had with her, wanted to wrap him in her arms and hold him while he allowed his feelings to take over. Jag had been stronger than she. He did not cry, however hot tears had stung his cheeks. He suddenly became more real to her. He wasn't a pilot. He wasn't an officer of the Chiss military. He wasn't a comrade-in-arms. He had dropped his guard and shared with her a part of him she knew no one outside his family had witnessed. In that moment he had become more human to her, had shed his Chiss upbringing to show her that they really weren't all that different.  
  
Then, he had kissed her.  
  
Jaina opened her eyes, her cheeks flushed as she remembered the feel of Jag's lips on hers. That kiss had been so different from the quick, brief one she gave him yesterday morning. She had enjoyed the feel of his cheek against her fingers, had felt the strength in his jaw, was mesmerized by the shape of his lips. The kiss had been slow and exquisite and breathtaking. It was sweet and innocent and filled her with a longing so strong she would have kissed him forever if it were possible. The heartache they had felt over the deaths of their siblings changed and strengthened into something that promised to continue to grow and change and consume them until the end of time.  
  
Love.  
  
A smile touched Jaina's lips as she turned away from the window and walked slowly over to the table. She looked down at the smattering of clothes, personal belongings, and weapons. She circled the table and stopped in front of the chair where Jag's flight suit was hung out to dry. She trailed her fingers over the black and red material, the picture of Jag on Borleias standing next to his ship, his gaze focused on the stars foremost in her mind. She didn't know why that image of him came to mind. Perhaps because he had seemed so much in his element then.  
  
When she was dating Zekk, they had kissed, necked, and hugged. She held affection for the other Jedi, however looking back on their relationship, it was more friendly and familiar then it was passionate. It was different with Jag, however. She *wanted* to be with him, *wanted* to be joined with him emotionally, spiritually, and physically. She didn't just feel desire for Jag. She loved him with a strength and passion she had never known.  
  
When they kissed this morning, it was so profound and exciting it had made her weak in the knees. It was as if they had accepted and embraced the changes in their relationship and allowed themselves to be swept away. She had been intoxicated by that kiss and when Jag had opened his mouth to hers to further explore the taste of her lips, Jaina's mind had turned to mush and she had suddenly wanted to be as close to him as she could get.  
  
Jaina walked around the table to the back of the room, stopping in front of one of the two large armoires. She felt Jag's strong presence through the Force and smiled. He was apparently thinking of that kiss as well for the thoughts she touched on made her blush. She hadn't meant to imply anything when her fingers had found their way underneath his shirt. She had simply wanted to feel the closeness of him, feel his warmth. She had wanted to explore the hard, flat planes of his abdomen, to explore every line and curve of his upper body. Her face reddened even more.  
  
*Okay, I can see why he thought I wanted us to be more intimate. He was right to stop me before things went too far, but I'm not going to apologize for wanting to touch him. I've been wanting to do that for the last two nights while laying next to him.*  
  
Jaina opened one of the heavy doors of the armoire and coughed as a floodgate of dust emptied out from the inside. She had been hoping to find some blankets or even more food but the interior was pretty much bare. Jaina was about to close it when she noticed three objects on the bottom shelf of the armoire. She bent down and picked up the first one, an antiquated music player. It was a little bigger than her hand and was rectangular in shape. On the top was a small diamond-shaped opening resting between two speakers. She set the recorder on the table then picked up a small box cut in the same shape as the opening.  
  
She blew the dust from the top then ran her fingers over the surface. Scribed across the top in Basic read *Ballads: The Best of Isadora Falansi* and below that, in smaller print was *Times to Remember: A Collection of Great Works from the Harkan-Ra Wind and String Quartet.*  
  
Jaina smiled. *Finally, something to listen to other than the wind.* She opened the container and took out the *Ballads* disk and put it in the music player. It immediately started to play the first tune and Jaina marvelled at the range of the singer's voice. The song was haunting and poignant and successfully drowned out the storm.  
  
She picked up the last object, a large brown box. It was surprisingly light and as with the rest of the goodies she had found, covered in dust. She closed the door to the armoire than returned to the table. Opening the box, Jaina gasped in delighted surprise at what she saw.  
  
Inside the box was a dress. It had not been touched by dust, did not even have a wrinkle in it. Picking it up carefully, Jaina took it out of the box and held out in front of her. It was made of the softest shimmersilk Jaina had ever felt and had a material overlapping it that resembled Pantolomin lace. The colour was a radiant blue-gray with magenta undertones. The plunging neckline in front was complimented with a deep scoop back. Two crystal buttons secured it at the neck and the flowing train had a slight flare to it. The style was not current by any means and Jaina dated it back about fifteen, maybe twenty years.  
  
She was not one for wearing dresses yet after spending the last three days dressed in either her undergarments or Jag's shirt, she was sorely tempted to try this one on. It was the most stunning garment she had seen in a long time and given her current appearance, she wanted to feel just as beautiful.  
  
*I'll have time to try this on before Jag gets back.* She felt a twinge of guilt for what was she about to do. They had no idea who lived in this house or if they would be back and she had hoped they could leave most of the building in the same condition it had been in when they arrived. She decided to only try it on for a moment then return it to the armoire.  
  
She unfastened Jag's shirt and tossed it over the back of the chair nearest her. Slipping the dress on, Jaina savoured the feel of the material against her skin. It felt good to wear something clean and fresh for a change. The dress hugged her like a second skin, suggesting that the female who it belonged to was about the same size. Except the owner was taller. The hem of the dress went to her toes and the train flared out about two feet behind her. Her tank top felt awkward beneath the shimmersilk so she took it off and tossed it on top of Jag's shirt. Jaina fastened the two crystal buttons at the base of her neck and cringed at the same time her injury ached.  
  
Smoothing down the front of the dress over her, Jaina smiled as she looked down at the skirt of the dress. All she could see was the tips of her toes peeking out from underneath the fabric. Her arms, shoulders, and back were bare and the chill that started to settle into the room sent goose bumps along every exposed part of her.  
  
There wasn't a mirror in the room so Jaina walked back over the window and stared at her reflection. She turned to her left, smoothed the material over her hips then repeated the action while turning to her right. Aside from the fact that the dress was a little too tight, hung a little too low, and was a little too long, she liked how it looked. Now, if only her hair had been styled appropriately and she had a touch of makeup to her face, she'd be ready for a banquet.  
  
Jaina sensed Jag return to the room at the same moment she caught a glimpse of him in the reflection of the window. She didn't turn to greet him right away for she was distracted by the range of emotions radiating from him. He was taken aback at first then enchanted by what he saw. He was fascinated with her and Jaina felt her cheeks flush yet again. The mixture of love and longing emanating from him almost made her turn and run into his arms.  
  
She turned slowly and met his stare. He stood just inside the doors, his shirt hanging over the waist of his pants and instead of being barefoot as she was now, he wore his boots. His hair was damp and slicked away from his face. In his left arm he cradled a bundle of wood and in his other hand he carried two carafes of a deep red liquid.  
  
Seconds seemed like hours as they stood there in silence watching one another. Jag found his voice first and when he spoke, his words were thick with barely contained emotion. "Where did you find that?"  
  
"In one of the armoires along with the music player."  
  
Jag blinked, having just noticed the captivating voice of Isadora Falansi wafting throughout the room. He continued to stand there and if he hadn't blinked Jaina would have thought him to be made of stone.  
  
Jaina smiled and twirled around, the skirt of the dress coming up briefly over her ankles. "I just wanted to try it on to see how it fits." She stopped and struck a little pose, one hand on her hip while the other came behind her neck. She raised her head a little, a mock show of arrogance. "How do I look?"  
  
"Absolutely beautiful."  
  
She didn't think she could blush any more than she was already. She watched as Jag walked over to the fireplace. "After I washed up, I went down to the cellar to find more wood. Not only did I find that, but there's a massive wine collection down there." He squatted at the hearth and tossed a log on the fire. The flames flared to life instantly, licking against the bottom of the metal pot. "I took two bottles from the furthest shelf so if the owners do come back here, they won't notice them missing right away."  
  
"I hope the stuff tastes much better than the soup, not that it's that bad." Jaina crossed the room to the table, picking up her tank top.  
  
"Me too. What are you doing?"  
  
"I just wanted to try this on. I don't want to dirty it too much."  
  
Jag stood up and turned toward her. "I don't mind if you leave it on. We can always wash it later."  
  
She hesitated. "I don't know. I should put it away."  
  
"Put it away a little later. How often do you get to play dress up?" He smiled, walking over to the table.  
  
Jaina grinned. "Okay. You talked me into it."  
  
"Once we get the pot off the casters I'll put more wood on the fire so it's not so chilly in here." Jag moved around a chair to stand in front of her. "Care to join me for dinner?" He extended his hand to her, palm-side down.  
  
Jaina laughed and placed her hand over his. "I'd be honoured."  
  
They walked back over to the hearth and as Jag helped her settle down on the blanket next to the warmth of the fire, Jaina wished for the umpteenth time since she crashed that she and Jag could stay here, in their own little paradise, forever. 


	16. Chapter 16

Jaina sat kneeling next to the hearth and welcomed the heat from the fire. She still found it a little cold in the room and a shiver snaked over her arms, along her shoulders, and down her back. Jag sat cross-legged next to her and removed the pot from the fire. Setting it down carefully on the other side of him, he then grabbed two more pieces of wood and tossed them into the flames. The fire glowed to life, hungrily devouring the logs.  
  
While Jag dished out the soup into the two small bowls they had found, Jaina took one of the wine carafes and opened it. She filled their small stoneware goblets with the red liquid, crinkling her nose at the heady scent. She set the goblets down in front of her then took one of the ration bars and broke it in half.  
  
Jag passed her a bowl of the soup at the same time Jaina handed him his piece of the ration bar. He smiled his thanks, gave her a spoon and set the piece of bar down next to him. He reached over and grabbed a goblet then held it up to his nose. He swirled the liquid around, still sniffing. "Hmm. Interesting bouquet. Smells minty with a touch of citrus."  
  
Jaina tilted her head and stared at him, grinning. "You do realize how silly you look doing that?"  
  
Jag matched her grin. "Every political function I've attended always had at least one or two people that would sniff their drinks like this then list off every ingredient in it. I always thought they looked funny doing that. Now I can say I did it too and it was absolutely pointless."  
  
She laughed, taking a bite of her ration bar. "Did your parents drag you around to a lot of parties when you were small?"  
  
"Yes. All five Fel children would be dressed in their best clothes and were forced to endure hours of strange people talking to us as if were adults. The girls would always get their cheeks pinched." He took a sip of the wine and immediately puckered his lips and squinted. "What about you? Did you have to attend a lot of parties as well?"  
  
"All the time. Most of the time, though, our protocol droid, Threepio, was with us and he ended up taking care of the kids." Jaina smiled as memories of some of those parties came to mind. "We were hard on Threepio, we gave him a lot of grief. I think he resented looking after Jedi children." She took up her bowl and began to eat the soup.  
  
"We didn't have a protocol droid to watch us so Davin was usually in charge. That never lasted though because he'd see a girl he liked and he go chasing after her. Reina was only a baby so Mother usually carried her with her, but Cherith and Inez would crawl underneath tables or hide behind chairs and grab people's legs as they walked by. Since I was the oldest when Davin wasn't around I had to watch them and I usually got blamed for everything they did."  
  
"And like a good brother, you took the rap for them, right?"  
  
Jag cradled his bowl on his lap. "Not willingly. Every time they were on the verge of getting caught, they'd take off and leave me standing there. I guess I looked guilty enough because every time Father would grab me by the ear and take me out the speeder. I had to spend the rest of the party there."  
  
"That doesn't sound so bad."  
  
"It wasn't until we got home." Jag snorted. "That's when I'd get the earful and I always tried to defend myself and it hardly ever worked."  
  
For a brief moment they said nothing as they slurped their soup and ate their ration bars. Jaina made a face as she watched Jag dip his piece of the bar in the soup then shove it in his mouth.  
  
She broke the silence with a gag of revulsion. "That's disgusting."  
  
Jag finished chewing the bar then grinned. "It adds flavour."  
  
"It's still disgusting." Anticipating the sour taste of the wine, Jaina took a long swig and forced herself to ignore the spicy, burning feeling of the liquid going down her throat. "So, the Fel children were brats when they were little?"  
  
"Just the girls." He winked.  
  
Jaina smirked, spooning another portion of the broth into her mouth. The room was starting to grow a little warmer and again they didn't say anything while they ate their lunch. The voice of Isadora Falansi continued to echo through the room, her voice rich and mesmerizing.  
  
*Seek and you may find what you already have...Sometimes it's your own shadow standing in your path...I have spent my life with a vision of myself...But I may have been somebody else...I feel a change in the tide...As I hold my heart open wide.*  
  
The lyrics seemed appropriate for this time and place. There were changes occurring in their lives, ones that echoed each other and took control of their minds, their bodies, their hearts, and their souls. A feeling of expectancy washed over her, shook her to the very core of her being. Perhaps it was a premonition through the Force or her own anticipation that she was experiencing, but she had a feeling that this moment, this night was going to be important. That it was going to be memorable.  
  
"Jaina?"  
  
Jag's voice startled her from her thoughts. She turned to him and was surprised to see him watching her intently. "Yes?"  
  
"I had asked you a question and you seemed fixated on that bowl of soup." He grinned, setting his empty bowl down next to the metal pot. "Where were you just now?"  
  
"Oh, I was just thinking that's all. What did you ask me?" She stuffed the rest of the ration bar in her mouth and munched on it.  
  
"I asked if you and your brothers use to get into a lot of trouble when you were small." Jag leaned backward, rested one hand palm-down on the floor and crossed his legs at the ankles. He picked up the goblet and took another drink of the wine, his stare still on her. "I imagine that Jedi children have more of an advantage when they're feeling ill-tempered."  
  
Jaina laughed. "Hardly. When your mother is Princess Leia and your uncle is Luke Skywalker, it's extremely hard to get away with things. Even Dad was able to figure out when his kids were in a feisty mood." She spooned the last of the soup in her mouth then set the empty bowl down near the hearth. She marvelled at how fast they had eaten. Then again, there wasn't much for them to eat.  
  
"One of my favourite memories is when Jacen and I were three. We had been in hiding on Anoth with my mother's aide, Winter, and we had finally been able to go home. Anakin stayed with Winter but he joined us not long after."  
  
"Why were you in hiding?" Jag asked.  
  
"When my mother was still pregnant with us, Grand Admiral Thrawn had tried to kidnap her. It was just a precaution after we were born, in case there were others out to get us."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Jaina folded her hands in her lap and studied him. He was surprised to hear that and his expression was both thoughtful and sad. "You didn't know about that?"  
  
Jag shook his head. "I have heard about the attempted kidnappings, yes, but I guess I never really considered how serious it must have been at the time."  
  
She thought about that for a moment. It would be foolish of her to be upset with him simply because he was raised among Thrawn's people, was instructed by their leaders and respected their culture. It was a part of him. "You admired him." There was no anger in her words, no contempt for his admiration for the dead admiral or the Chiss.  
  
He looked at her as if it was obvious. "Why, yes. He was a great tactician. He possessed a great military mind and commanded the respect of both his enemies and allies. He was by far one of the most intelligent leaders the Empire had during that time." Jag paused, hesitated. "I'm sorry if that upsets you."  
  
Her grin was genuine. "I'm not upset. I respect your opinions. Sooner or later we were bound to have this discussion ."  
  
Jag nodded thoughtfully. "I'll settle for later. You were telling me about you and Jacen."  
  
Jaina smiled as the memory came back to her. "Where was I? Oh, right. Dad was away from Coruscant--that's when he met Kyp--and Mom had to go to a political function so Threepio and Chewie had to baby-sit us. Jacen and I managed to get away from their watchful eyes and we decided to examine the lower levels of the city. I don't remember how we got down there but we were seeing all kinds of weird things and getting into all kinds of trouble. We had fun testing our Jedi powers on each other and those around us. Threepio was our favourite target."  
  
Her smile faltered a little and she turned her gaze toward the fire. "When Threepio and Chewie found us, Jacen and I tried to make light of the whole thing. After all, we were only three. Threepio was lecturing us and Chewie was so mad. Sometimes when he and Dad got mad, you couldn't tell them apart! They had this certain look that would cross over their faces...I guess that's because they had been together for so long."  
  
A tear rolled down her cheek but Jaina didn't wipe it away. With everything that had happened recently she felt guilty that she had not consider the beloved Wookiee among her losses. Chewbacca had not only been like an uncle to her, he was the most loyal and trustworthy friend her family had. The image of his kind blue eyes smiling at her while he bleated a greeting echoed in her thoughts.  
  
She felt Jag's hand rest on top of hers, his skin warm, his touch comforting. "I'm sorry, Jaina. Your family has suffered so much. I truly wish I could do something to make things better."  
  
*Being with you like this is helping me more than you'll ever know.*  
  
Jaina folded her other hand over his. "Chewie was the most gentle, most kind and caring being I'd ever known and for a Wookiee, that's saying a lot. He was family. I loved him like an uncle and I miss him terribly."  
  
"I've heard tales of the exploits of Han Solo and his Wookiee companion. I wish I'd had the chance to meet him."  
  
She turned to Jag, her lips curved into a little grin. "Remember Lowbacca? You met him on Hapes." Jag nodded. "He's Chewie nephew. Perhaps someday, when this war is over, you can come to Kashyyyk with us and visit Chewie's family."  
  
Jag grinned. "I'd like that."  
  
Jaina kept back any more tears that wanted to breach her barrier. She didn't want to feel sorrow this day. She knew that Chewbacca's spirit was always with her family, watching over them. Perhaps he and Anakin and Jacen were together, providing comfort and strength to the remaining members of the Solo-Skywalker families.  
  
Withdrawing her top hand from Jag's, Jaina picked up her goblet and endured another swig of the wine. "Do you have any particular moments from your youth that you'd count among your favourites?"  
  
Jag nodded, picking up the carafe. "Yes, but it's nothing as elaborate as yours." He refilled his goblet then held it out to Jaina. She smiled, held her cup out while he filled it for her. "When I was really small, probably from the time I was born until I was six or seven, my mother use to sing me to sleep."  
  
"Really?" Somehow, she hadn't imagined Jag would like that sort of thing. Warmth spread out form the fire and slowly seeped into her veins. The wine was potent stuff and Jaina could already feel it settling inside her.  
  
"Yes. At the time, Inez and Reina weren't born yet but she sang to them as well." Jag leaned back on his hand and rested the goblet on his knee. His posture was casual and it was the most relaxed she had seen him since they'd been in this old house. His stare focused on the flickering embers. "She had arranged it so that when we went to bed there was enough time for her to go from room to room and put us to sleep. Davin wasn't much for the singing, so she usually read him stories. My mother didn't have a perfect voice, but it was soft and reassuring."  
  
He took a long sip of the wine. "She'd sit up at the top of the bed and wrap her arm around me while she sang. I remember watching her while she sang, I was fascinated with the way her expression would emphasize the meaning of each song, each word. She'd sing lots of different songs, but there was this one song she sang every night. She'd said it was a song her mother use to sing to Uncle Wedge when he was little. She'd really liked it and learned the words so she could sing it to her sons one day."  
  
Jaina smiled. "That's a beautiful memory."  
  
His lips twitched at the corners and his stare became reflective. "It is. I loved that lullaby. I thought she had the most lovely voice when she sang it. I use to know the words...How did it go...?"  
  
Jag's face contorted with deep concentration, his voice trailing off. She sensed a determination rise in him, as if it was somehow important for him to remember that moment. "Stars and comets up on high...gently light the midnight sky...."  
  
He paused, his brows knitted together in thought. "Hush my....my what? Oh, right! Hush my darling, rest your head...snuggled safely in your bed. Mother loves her little boy, father's pride and mother's joy...."  
  
He looked apologetically at Jaina. "Sorry. I can't recall the rest."  
  
"That's okay. It's sounds like a lovely song."  
  
"It was." Jag snapped out of his reverie and finished his wine in one long quaff. He set the goblet down and abruptly rose to his feet. A new song sounded from the music player, a haunting, enchanting cadence to it.  
  
Looking down at her, Jag held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"  
  
Her smile carried to eyes, lifted her soul. "Why, I'd be honoured, Colonel."  
  
Setting her goblet down as well, Jaina accepted his proffered hand and stood. The dress almost made movement impossible and for a brief moment she enjoyed the feel of the fire warming her back as she turned to walk away from the hearth with Jag.  
  
They walked over to the empty space between the windows and the table, a sizable space to serve as a dance floor in this gigantic room. They stopped in what Jag calculated to be the middle of the 'dance floor' and then he executed a deep, respectful bow.  
  
Jaina giggled, holding a hand up to her mouth to stifle her laughter. Jag smiled as he extended his hand once again. Jaina accepted and savoured the touch of his fingers as he curled them around hers. She placed her other hand on his left shoulder while Jag brought his arm around her back. He pressed the flat of his palm against her skin, the shock of the touch caused a little gasp to escape her. She felt the blush hit her cheeks.  
  
"One of the downfalls of attending political and military functions was that I had to learn to dance. It was fashionable back in the days of the Imperial Court and my father had said that since he had to suffer through it, I had to as well." Jag's smiled never faltered but there was purpose in his eyes. "So, would you mind terribly allowing me to lead you through this dance?"  
  
"Only if you promise not to step on my toes. I haven't any shoes on."  
  
"I promise not to step on your toes if you promise not to cheat."  
  
She looked at him, perplexed. "Cheat?"  
  
"No Force powers to guess my next move, okay?"  
  
Jaina feigned mock surprise. "Would I do something like that?"  
  
Jag's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Do you want me to dignify that with a response?"  
  
She slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "Shut up and dance!"  
  
Jag tipped his head in acknowledgment. "Yes, milady."  
  
Either the wine was starting to infect them or the premise of the moment was different in itself, but the silliness that Jaina felt swell in her infected Jag as well. It was a new experience to him and filled him with a sense of freedom and wonder while for herself, it was a feeling she long missed.  
  
In time with the music, Jag slowly led her through a series of complicated opening steps. She did as he asked and didn't use the Force to guess his movements and it felt strange and wonderful not relying on her abilities to guide her. She dropped her head and watched his feet and at first she was awkward against his movements. He didn't stop the dance and start again and he didn't scold her for trying to watch what he was doing. Instead, she suspected he improvised off and on, taking her steps and transforming them into something that didn't look too clumsy.  
  
She began to pick up on the rhythm of his steps and counted them off in her head. Left, left, back, left, half-turn, right...It was a little hard to keep track of their movements but she eventually adjusted to the waltz he led her through and Jaina finally allowed herself to enjoy the movement instead of trying to learn it.  
  
Jag was in perfect synch with the music. He took three steps forward, she took three back, then tuned half-way and moved four steps back, she moved four steps forward. Each time they moved in this little shuffle, Jaina became increasingly aware of how close their bodies had become. They were hip-to-hip, thigh-to-thigh. She could feel the muscles in Jag's legs move with each step, felt the muscles in his arms tighten as he pulled her around in a sharp turn. The dress restricted her movements a little, but she was aware of each step she took that brushed against Jag's legs.  
  
He partially broke their connection, bringing Jaina to his side. He held her hand at shoulder-length then encouraged her to move several steps forward with him, complete a turn, and take several more steps. Jaina gave a little cry of delight as Jag pulled her quickly back into his embrace, his hand resting firmly again against her back, his other hand holding hers.  
  
They continued the little routine for a few more minutes, dancing through several more intricate steps. Jaina found herself exhilarated by the waltz, by Jag's confident guiding steps. The tempo of the music began to slow, the singer's voice began to fade into a hypnotic yet sweet rendering of the chorus and as their movements began to slow, Jaina thought that the dance was over. She was about to step away from Jag when he caught her off-guard with a sudden dip. Her back arched slightly as Jag leaned into the dip with her, his face only an inch away from her shoulder. She could feel the strength of his arm supporting her, feel his breath on her bare skin, feel the press of his body firmly against hers.  
  
Tiny shivers of delight coursed through her as the gentle press of warm, tender lips heated her shoulder. Jaina revelled in the feel of Jag's mouth against her skin and she wondered if she could endure the achingly sweet feel of him. Her heart thundered inside her. She sighed beneath the gentle caress of his lips, closed her eyes as his kisses trailed from her shoulder up along her throat until they rose and claimed her mouth.  
  
She surrendered to the strength of his kiss. As he leaned, she tilted back, the flow of motion between them a silent play of giving and surrendering. She sighed again as he delved between her lips, gasping as the sweet, moist tip of his tongue touched hers. He murmured into her mouth, her name she thought. Suddenly Jaina thought there was too much space between them. She need to be closer to him, to feel Jag as if he were a second skin, her protection and salvation.  
  
That song ended and another one began, but they seemed frozen in this moment. Finally, Jag slowly began to pull her back up from the dip, breaking the kiss in doing so. They stood in front of each other, breathless from the kiss. Jaina's arms had wrapped around his neck, Jag's hand soft against the bare skin of her back. She studied his face, saw the love and longing deep in his pale green eyes.  
  
"Was that kiss part of the dance as well?" her voice wavered with barely contained emotion.  
  
Jag managed a grin and his presence glowed brighter than the twin suns of Tatooine. "No. I improvised." 


	17. Chapter 17

"You didn't put your binding back on." Jag pointed out.  
  
They sat in front of the fire, the dim lighting from the glow of the hearth and the candles on the mantle creating a cozy, intimate feel to the room. Jag sat cross-legged while Jaina sat on his right, her feet tucked up underneath her. Her left hand rested on his leg, her other cradled a goblet of wine. Jag had his arm around her back, supporting her and he too had a goblet in his hand. They were working on the second carafe; the first bottle was emptied and was now resting on the floor next to the fireplace.  
  
"I forgot to put it back on after I washed up." She took a sip of the sweet liquid, her face turned to meet his.  
  
"Do you feel any better?"  
  
"Yes. It's not as sore as it was before. It doesn't bother me as much." Jaina paused, smiling. "Besides, it didn't match my dress."  
  
Jag grinned. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so at peace in his life. It had been a long time, before he joined the academy. Life had been simpler, more carefree in those days and every now and then he yearned to go back to those moments, to forget that a war raged on throughout the galaxy.  
  
Here, with Jaina, he was able to create new moments of simplicity. He had been captivated with her since they met at Ithor and within the last few days of being stranded with her here on Drognan, he felt the changes sweeping over him, luring him toward the enchanting sweetness that was Jaina.  
  
"Jag?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Jaina took another sip of the wine. The stuff was potent and Jag could already feel it spreading throughout his veins, through his limbs. It didn't help that they hadn't had much to eat since they arrived here. He could tell by the constant flush to Jaina's cheeks that she was affected by the heady liquid too.  
  
"Despite our predicament, I'm really enjoying our time together. It almost feels like something out of a dream."  
  
He nodded slowly, tightening his grip around her. His fingers slowly stroked the bare skin of her upper arm. "I'm glad it's not a dream. I don't think I'd want to wake up if it was."  
  
She rested her head against the crook of his shoulder. "I wish we could stay this way forever." He heard her sigh softly.  
  
"Me too." Jag took a drink of the wine, the mint and citrus combination no longer tasted bitter. He imagined his taste buds had been killed during the very first sip. "Unfortunately, this storm is going to let up sometime and we'll have to return to Borleias. Which is probably a good thing. There are people there worrying about us."  
  
"I know, but just for a while I'd like to concentrate on something other then war." She sat up, turning to face him once more. "Let's talk about you."  
  
Jag smirked. "I'm a rather boring person. There isn't much to know."  
  
Jaina smiled and that simple gesture made his heart race. "I'll be the judge of that. I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you dislike. Things like that." Her face lit up with anticipation.  
  
"Well, ask me a question and I'll answer it."  
  
"Okay." Her lips puckered in thought. Jag smiled. Did she know how lovely she was? "Okay. Here's one. What's your favourite colour?"  
  
Without hesitating, Jag replied, "Blue, but not for the reasons that you think."  
  
Jaina laughed, playfully slapping him on the shoulder. It was infectious and he found himself chuckling along with her.  
  
"What about you? What's your favourite colour?" He took another long quaff of his drink.  
  
"Purple." Jaina replied without missing a beat.  
  
"Purple?" Jag thought for a moment. "Purple represents honour, spirituality, and self-esteem. All of which you embody."  
  
Jaina raised a curious brow. "You know the meaning of colours?"  
  
"Not by choice. It was something I learned in school. "Blue represents love, harmony, and devotion. All of which are words not commonly used to described me." He grinned, feeling silly for even mentioning something so minor.  
  
"I never knew that." She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair. "You're so smart."  
  
Jag laughed. "Appearances can be deceiving." He finished his wine, setting his goblet down next to him. "My turn. What's your favourite starship, not including your own?"  
  
She giggled, enjoying this little game of question and answer. "Well, that's a no-brainer. The Falcon of course!" Jaina straightened, her hand resting on his shoulder. "What's yours? No, let me guess. Star Destroyer?"  
  
Jag shook his head. "No. That's too obvious." He paused for dramatic effect. "Super Star Destroyer."  
  
They laughed again and Jag marvelled at how easy it was to do so around her. He must have laughed more in the last three days then he had in the last three years. It felt wonderful.  
  
"Okay, my turn. Favourite movie not starring your mother."  
  
"Not starring my mother? Is there another kind?"  
  
"Jag!" she giggled again, sipping the wine. "Quit being silly!"  
  
He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay! Okay! Let me think..." He tapped on his chin, feigning the impression of being deep in thought. "I would have to say *Mercenaries.* It's about a Twi'lek and Rodian who escape from Kessel and go into the mercenary business in an effort to track down the thugs who sent them to the spice mines. It's a comedy."  
  
Jaina nearly choked on her drink. "A comedy? Why, Jagged, I had no idea you knew what a comedy was!"  
  
He glared at her yet his expression was soft enough to let her know he was teasing. "Ha, ha. Now who's been silly?"  
  
The grin on her face refused to leave. Jaina set her goblet down and shifted her position on the floor. She was laying on her side, facing him. One hand propped against her chin to support her, the other still rested on his leg. The glow from the fire cast a halo about her and if Jag hadn't known better, he would have thought her one of the legendary angels of the moon of Iego. *No,* Jag thought, resting his hand over hers, *not even an angel could compare to her beauty.*  
  
He cleared his throat and focused on her. "What's your favourite movie?"  
  
"Well, my favourite just happens to star your mother. *Edge of Eternity.* She was fantastic in that!"  
  
Jag nodded. "That was one of her greatest roles. She won a number of awards for that one."  
  
"Really?" Jaina's hand started to slowly caress his leg and Jag found himself fascinated with the sweet touch. "Does she have her awards displayed all over the house?"  
  
"Not all of them. She keeps most of them in storage. Only the ones she was really proud of are displayed in the recreation room. There are some of my father's achievements there as well, and of course, every drawing we made or test we passed is there too."  
  
"Did your dad get jealous a lot because your mom spent her career kissing other men?" Jaina smiled up at him, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.  
  
"In the beginning, he did, but eventually he got use to it. I remember Mother saying that there were a few premiere parties that they attended and the leading men didn't show up because they knew my father was going to be there. They were scared of him."  
  
"Is your dad a big man?"  
  
"He's built like a brick. Taller than me, more muscular. He lost an eye in his final battle and he walks with a limp now, so he looks more imposing to those who aren't familiar with him."  
  
Jaina grinned. "You've seen my dad. He's got gray hair and a bit of a pot belly. Does your dad have a pot belly?"  
  
Jag laughed. "No. He's maintained most of his physique." Remembering his conversation with Han Solo before he left Borleias, Jag leaned forward a little, as if he were sharing secrets. "Hey, did you know that our fathers attended the academy together?"  
  
Jaina blinked in surprise. "No way!"  
  
"Yes way! Your father told me that when I was talking to him at Borleias. Father doesn't talk much about those times, so I never knew that before. Isn't that weird?"  
  
"It is. Dad may have mentioned it before, but I don't remember. Funny coincidence, don't you think?"  
  
"Funny, no. Fortunate, yes." He turned her hand over, lacing his fingers through hers. "Okay, my turn. Favourite planet?"  
  
She frowned as she contemplated that one. "Hmm. Well, it once would have been Coruscant or Yavin but now I'll have to say..." Her eyes sparkled even more. "Drognan."  
  
"Really? That happens to be my favourite planet too." The wind and snow beating on the windows seemed to agree with their assessment.  
  
"Favourite book?"  
  
"Oh, that's easy! *Hidden Treasures: The True Story of the Queen of Ranroon."*  
  
Jaina bolted upright, an action she quickly regretted. Jag winced in sympathy as a wash of pain creased Jaina's face. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes! I'm fine!" She shook her head absently and her smile returned. "I forgot about those damned ribs for a minute. Jag, my dad and Chewie went searching for that once!"  
  
Jag stared at her, baffled. "They did?"  
  
"Yes! It was when they were still smuggling. Dad told us the story a long time ago, but if I remember, they were helping an old friend search for it and when they found it, on Dellalt, I think, it turned out to be nothing more than metals and materials that were useless, given their age." Her enthusiasm was sweet and innocent.  
  
"I don't remember reading about a smuggler and his Wookiee sidekick in that book." he teased.  
  
She playfully punched him in the arm. "Since the treasure wasn't all that grand, they probably didn't want to be counted among the many suckers who went seeking treasure and ending up with junk."  
  
"Ah. Well, I guess now I know the TRUE story of the *Queen of Ranroon.* So, tell me, Jedi Lieutenant Jaina Solo, what is your favourite book?"  
  
Jaina sat up a little from her position, her back to the warmth of the fire. Her expression became a little sad, her voice a little more quiet. "Well, it's not really a storied book. It's called Memoirs and it's a visual aide looking back on the history and beauty of Alderaan."  
  
He nodded solemnly, his fingers gently pulling away from Jaina's. "I've seen holos of it as well. We learned about its history and culture and it's sudden death at the academy." He hesitated, thinking out his next words. "Father was suppose to have been on the Death Star that day."  
  
He felt her hand seek his out again, her fingers interlocking with his. He wasn't sure how she would take the news and he pondered briefly if he should tell her that every day his father said words of thanks for not having been aboard the space station; for not having had the deaths of billions on his conscience.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Jag blew out a long breath and brought his stare to meet hers. Her eyes were soft and sympathetic in the firelight. "Officers and pilots under his command revolted against him and the Empire and those who got away joined the Rebellion. My father was to have been on the Death Star, serving as one of Grand Moff Tarkin's bodyguards, but after the mutiny, he was dispatched to the 181st. Or, the One-Eighty-Worst in those days." He paused, a crooked grin curving his lips. "I guess I owe those mutineers a debt of thanks. They saved my father's life."  
  
"I owe them thanks, too. If they hadn't revolted, General Fel would have died and you wouldn't be here. I'm very grateful he failed that mission."  
  
Despite himself, Jag smiled. "Me too."  
  
Jaina held her hands out to him, the look on her face transforming into a look of mischief. "Help me up, please?"  
  
Jag stood, taking her hands and brought Jaina to her feet. She was smiling broadly now, leading him away from the fire and toward the table. His legs felt a little heavy and wobbly and Jag wondered about the true potency of the wine they drank. He felt light-headed, but not so much so that he felt he would be sick. He was feeling pretty good, not too drunk yet bordering on sobriety.  
  
They had changed music a little while ago and now the haunting, sensual sounds of the Harkan-Ra Wind and String Quartet echoed throughout the room. It was relaxing music, something that could easily lull him into a deep sleep.  
  
Jaina walked to the table, released Jag's hand, and pulled a chair out for him. She smiled, saying not a word, as she gently pushed him into the chair. He raised an eyebrow, curious at what she had planned for him. Folding his arms across his chest, he watched with great interest as Jaina walked away from him, standing about five feet away. She turned, gestured with her left hand and Jag saw out of the corner of his eye, the red binding that had served as her support go flying through the air toward her.  
  
She caught and wrapped it around her neck like a scarf. Jag stifled a laugh. The red of the binding didn't match the blue-gray of the dress. Jaina pouted her lips, her bottom one sticking out a little further than the top, and Jag got the impression that she knew he was trying not laugh at her. Settling back in the chair, Jag braced himself for what she had planned.  
  
The melody of the song was a lively one and Jaina caught the beat instantly. She began to dance to the music, slow and teasing at first. Jaina's face never faltered, the smile stayed planted on her lovely face and Jag became entranced with her movements. She sauntered to her left, shimmied backward, then turned to face him, taking three little dancing steps towards him. She hummed along with the tune of the song even though she'd not heard it before and Jag smiled as her little number went on. No one had granted him such a sweet, private, alluring dance before and his eyes were riveted to the motions of her body.  
  
Her hips moved slow, enticing. She reached up and took her makeshift scarf from her neck, weaved it gently through the air as if it were the most delicate shimmersilk made. She slid the material over the length of her arms, then tossed it casually over one shoulder. She half-turned, her attention on Jag, and when she winked at him and thrust her hip in his direction, he almost fell out the chair.  
  
Using the Force once again, she brought the wine carafe to her hands. Jag straightened in his seat, arms still folded over his chest, impressed with her Jedi abilities. He knew that grabbing a little bottle was probably nothing for her, but since he hadn't been around many Jedi, each action, each movement they utilized that he had never seen before fascinated him.  
  
The music continued on, becoming even more livelier. Jaina held the carafe and slowly began to dance toward Jag. He felt a lump in his throat contract. Suddenly, his thoughts were becoming incoherent.  
  
Jaina approached him, stopping briefly to twirl around in her new dress, then came back toward him still dancing her little two-step. The smile on his face faltered as she stopped directly in front of him, bent down to be at eye level with him. The smile on her face carried up into her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed from the wine.  
  
She lifted the carafe to her lips and took a long, slow drink. Jag watched with half-closed lids as the sweet liquid poured over her lips and down her throat. Until now, he had never thought that taking a drink could be so sensual. When she was done taking a drink, the smile was back on her face. Jaina took the carafe, held out in front of Jag's mouth, then turned it around so that his lips would touch the same spot hers had just occupied.  
  
Stunned, he did as she suggested and took a long drink of wine, his lips resting on the moist spot on the bottle where Jaina's lips had just been. Jag didn't think he actually took the drink of wine, he didn't feel the taste of it go down his throat. Then again, his stare had been fixed on Jaina. He couldn't think straight, couldn't comprehend a single thought that passed through him.  
  
Jaina leaned passed him, her bare shoulder brushing against his arm, and set the carafe down on the table. When she pulled back, Jag was surprised to find the makeshift scarf around his neck and he was gently dragged out of the chair.  
  
Jaina's expression turned a little more serious as she brought him out further on they spot the designated the dance floor. Once she had him in arm's reach, Jaina tossed the binding on the floor. Jag's heart thundered in his chest. Jaina continued her little hip-swinging dance, moving slowly from side-to-side, then around him completely. He felt her hands rest on his shoulders, the gentleness of her touch enchanted him. She mesmerized him, and was effectively turning his brain to mush.  
  
She came back to stand in front him, leaned in as if she were going to kiss him. Jag anticipated it, so desperate was he for the touch of her lips against his. She teased him, yet again, turning her face away from his lips to whisper against his ear. She said something but Jag had no clue what it was. He couldn't think. He couldn't hear. He couldn't see. All he knew was Jaina.  
  
Her hands smoothed over the contours of his muscled arms, gently rested against his palms before she moved them to rest against the hem of his shirt. He would give her anything she wanted, no matter the cost, if she would just let him kiss her. He was powerless against the beauty of her.  
  
With a firm hand, Jaina tugged on his shirt. Jag complied, lifting his arms up so she could take the restrictive piece of clothing off. Her eyes never left him, even as she tossed the shirt onto the floor. He had the oddest feeling of being scrutinized yet he did not move. He stood before Jaina, chest bare, his arms by his sides. He felt the blush hit his cheeks. He almost laughed at himself for feeling embarrassed.  
  
He studied her face, wanted to see her reaction. She sucked in a deep breath, her laughter gone, her expression serious. She reached out with trembling hands, trailing a finger from the base of his neck, over his heart, then downward to rest against his stomach.  
  
"Absolutely beautiful." She said, repeating his words back at him. Before Jag could respond to that, Jaina wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with the same desire and longing that coursed through his veins. 


	18. Chapter 18

Jaina stepped back from Jag, but not too far. There was only an inch between them. The light from the candles and the fire silhouetted the walls behind him, giving the impression that Jag was far larger in breadth and height than was normal to him.  
  
They're eyes met, each searching the other's for the answer to the question that lingered before them. *What now?* Jaina held her breath as she studied Jag's expression. Suddenly it seemed as if every part of him had come to light; it carried from his eyes, to his face, to his muscled arms and the firm, flat planes of his abdomen.  
  
What she felt through the Force was not only Jag's powerful presence. It was her own. It was as their thoughts and feelings began to mesh into one and it was difficult to determine what belonged where. Jaina reached out her right hand and brought it to Jag's cheek. He caught it before she touched him, held her wrist delicately in his strong hands. He turned it over, palm-upward and planted a kiss there.  
  
She continued to watch him as he lavished little kisses along her palm, her wrist, slowly trailing along upper arm. He was a different man than he had been on Borleias. Here, on Drognan, they both were growing and changing and it was the most wondrous thing Jaina had experienced in a long time. She brought her stare back up to his face and was struck at how different he looked. The look in his eyes, the twitch of a grin on his lip, his expression seemed more defined, masculine in some way. It was as if the character of the man had seeped outward from his soul, altering his features.  
  
"Why, Jaina Solo," Jag said, a teasing lilt in his voice, "are you trying to seduce me?"  
  
"Trying, no. Succeeding , yes."  
  
Jag bent closer, and his hand slid down to rest at the curve of her lower back, pulling her hard against him. She went helplessly into the next kiss, drowning in the sheer essence and power of this man. She looped her arms around his neck, heated contours of his body meeting her curves. Gasping softly, Jaina welcomed another kiss, felt the intoxication begin.  
  
Thundering inside, she surrendered when she knew she should have pulled back. Opening his lips, feeling the touch of his tongue, gently, but fiery, she moaned. The brace of his arms hardened around her and she arched closer.  
  
Again, Jaina thought she heard him murmur into her mouth, her name and his lips traced over her cheek, his breath soft in her hair, like ecstasy at her ear. Her knees simply gave way for a moment, and she tightened her arm around his neck, flattened a palm on his chest, where the contour was hard and firm and his heart pounded like a drum.  
  
Jaina became lost, deep in the essence of what she and Jag were sharing. It was the most profound moment of her life. She could sense all of Jag's emotions, opened to her willingly and it was like an aphrodisiac all its own. She wished briefly that Jag could experience this with her through the Force. It was the most wondrous thing she had ever encountered.  
  
Warm and fine, his hands moved her, solace and comfort, pleasure and gift, rounding discreetly underneath her breast, slipping over the fabric of the dress at her abdomen, stopping there. She rocked toward him, searching desperately for his tender mouth.  
  
Framing her face, Jag kissed her again and then drew back. She moaned in denial, her hands fervent on his chest, at his waist, sliding over his muscled arms as he shifted away from her. She didn't like the way he ended that wonderful kiss and she wasn't about to let this beautiful night come to an abrupt end.  
  
She knew what Jag wanted. She wanted it too. She wanted to forget about pain and war and death and destruction. She wanted to be surrounded by love and affection, harmony, bliss. She loved Jag and she knew she could feel all those things and more in his loving embrace. She wanted him in a way that only a man and woman did when they were deeply in love.  
  
Jag opened his mouth to stay something, but Jaina silenced him with a simple press of her fingers against his mouth. She took a little step away from him, and grinned as sweetly as she could manage. Her fingers trembled as they came up behind her neck and began to unfasten the crystal buttons holding the dress up....  
  
.....and was surprised to feel Jag's hand clamp over hers, halting her actions. She looked at him, confused.  
  
"No, Jaina." he replied. His voice was hoarse with his own barely contained emotions. He kept his fingers firmly over hers. "Not here. Not like this."  
  
She half-turned to meet his stare. His eyes were hooded, passionate. She could sense the desire and the love washing over him directly at her, for her. "What do you mean, not like this? This is the perfect place! There is no one to interrupt us. We are on our own little secluded planet. Why not here?"  
  
Jag sighed heavily, a gesture that Jaina imagined took a great deal of resolve, and brought his fingers to rest under her chin. His pale green eyes were drunk with desire and Jaina imagined she looked the same. "As perfect as this place is, yes, it's not the idea setting for you and I to give in to raging hormones." The sentence sounded odd coming from him and if the situation hadn't turned serious, she might have laughed.  
  
Jaina shook her head. "I disagree. This is the perfect place for us, Jag. This is our place. What happens here, between us, stays that way. No one will have to know what we did."  
  
"I think once we returned to Borleias, it would be obvious to many people." He raised an eyebrow. "Like your father. He'd kill me, revive me, and then kill me again. I don't know, Jaina. I happen to enjoy living."  
  
The trembling from her fingers carried up to embrace her entire body. She felt as if this romantic evening she had planned for them had suddenly be cast aside as another insignificant part of her life. She tried to figure out why one minute Jag would kiss her with a passion then next rebuff her advances. "You don't want me." she declared, and cursed the sound of her voice, wavering with more emotion than she wanted him to hear.  
  
Jag's hands dropped his sides, his stare focused on her. "I would think that even without your Jedi powers, you'd know that's not true." He blew out a long breath. "We need to be responsible, Jaina. Have you thought about the consequences?"  
  
She turned to stare at him. "What consequences?"  
  
"What if you got pregnant? Are you on medication?"  
  
Jaina blinked. She hadn't even thought about that. "Well, I am, but I didn't take it before I left."  
  
"And I don't exactly carry around 'extra shielding' in my ship." He took a step closer to her, and she heard him sigh, felt his dejection, when she turned her back on him. "We need to think about these things, Jaina. Do you really want to bring a baby in to the middle of the damnable war? Are you ready for that? I know I'm not ready to become a father just yet."  
  
So there it was then. The true answer to what she asked him only a moment ago. His simple rejection of fatherhood was a mark against herself. Jaina focused her stare on the double doors of the dining hall.  
  
"So. You don't want me, then."  
  
She felt the tight grip of Jag's hand grab her forearm, and with a not-so- gentle yank, he spun her around to face him. Jaina was surprised by the strength in his grip, by the annoyance and frustration that blinded her through the Force. He wasn't angry, she could see that on his face, but he was determined to be heard.  
  
"This isn't easy for me, either, Jaina! Don't you know how much I want to lay you down by that fire and make love to you until we pass out from exhaustion? Do you know how difficult this is, being so close to you yet knowing that I can't hold you like I want to, touch you like I dream about, kiss you the way you should be kissed?  
  
Jaina faltered under the intensity of his stare, under the weight of his emotions. "I...do...know." she stammered out. "I do know. I feel it too."  
  
"Exactly. A tempting as it would be to give in to this moment, it would be a mistake." He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. Jaina closed her eyes briefly, loving the feel of his skin against her hair.  
  
There was still a part of her that needed this moment, that had to fight for this night. She needed to forget the pain and anger and simply exist in peace and bliss. She knew Jag could provide that for her. She knew he would be the most wonderful, sweet, and devoted lover. "Don't you feel as though this is our little place, Jag? That everything that has been happening between has because it was meant to happen. Perhaps we were *meant* to be here. We've been learning about each other, talking about our lives. " She took a little stop forward, turning her gaze to meet his. The love shining from his pools of green was all the courage she needed. "I love you, Jag."  
  
He flinched a little and inwardly, Jaina sensed him struggle with that briefly. They were silent for a moment, then Jag reached out and planted his hands on her hips, pulling her closer. "I've been falling in love with you since the moment we met," he breathed and Jaina felt as her heart had taken flight and was soaring among the clouds.  
  
"And it scares the hell out of me."  
  
Surprised, Jaina looked up at him. His expression was serious, but he recognized her looking at him and managed a grin. "It scares you?" she whispered. "Why?"  
  
Jag slowly brought her over to the makeshift bed and gestured for her to sit down. Instead, she laid down on the side that would be facing Jag. He grinned at her little manoeuvre, and after tossing off his boots, laid down next to her as well. Jaina wrapped an arm over his bare chest, her legs finding their comfortable stop over his.  
  
He supported her back, drawing her closer to him. Her head rested in the crook of his arm.  
  
"I've been in a few relationships before but I've never been in love. I don't want to rush things between us, Jaina. I want to know everything there is to know about you. What you like, what you dislike. What kind of training you must endure as a Jedi. What's your favourite meal? Those sorts of things. I want to know everything about you and that scares me. This war is different from anything we've ever faced and I'm afraid that if something were to happen to one of us....."  
  
He paused, seeking out the right words. Jaina felt his arm tighten around her and she snuggled closer. She sensed a lot of emotions from Jag just then. Possession. Compassion. Protection. Fondness. Admiration. Respect. Desire. Love.  
  
And it was all for her.  
  
Jag leaned his head back, his face pointing at the ceiling but he didn't closed his eyes. "I not afraid of Death, Jaina. I'm just afraid of leaving you behind, if I did get taken out in the damn war. Does that make sense?"  
  
She pressed her lips to the closest part of him, his right nipple, and kissed him there. She heard his quick intake of breath and she giggled. "It does make sense. I feel that way too."  
  
For a long moment they remained silent, the only sound in the room the fading strings of the music player. Jaina imagined for the umpteenth time staying here with Jag, wished that they could live in peace and solitude for the rest of their lives so the war couldn't touch them.  
  
She felt indecision sweep over him for a moment, then Jag said, "I promise, Jaina, that if and when the time is right for us to make love, it will be most memorable night of your life."  
  
Jaina couldn't help but snicker. "You certainly have a high opinion of yourself, Colonel."  
  
Jag laughed. "I didn't mean it THAT way!"  
  
Jaina giggled, stretching out as close to Jag as she could and was rewarded with his other arm around her. "Jag?" she whispered.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Promise me something, okay?"  
  
He paused for a moment. "If I can."  
  
Jaina thought about the last three days and all that they had shared and learned about each other. She recalled Jag's gentleness while tending her injury, thought about how peaceful he looked asleep, how they had danced around the makeshift ballroom, how they had kissed with all the love deep inside them.  
  
"Promise me that no matter what happens between us, you won't forget this place. Promise me you won't forget this moment."  
  
Jag did not hesitate.  
  
"I promise I will not forget this moment." 


	19. Chapter 19

The storm raging outside was relentless. Thunder echoed in the distance, lightning flashed across the sky. He stood at the window, one hand tucked in his pocket while the other cradled his drink. A million thoughts ran through his head, a million more pierced his heart. The darkness that blanketed the sky was almost suffocating and if it wasn't for the inclement weather, he would have walked miles just to clear his head. His eyes scanned the horizon as if they were searching and hoping for someone to walk through the storm.  
  
*If something were to happen to you, not only do I lose a pilot, I lose a member of my family. I'm not a stupid man. I know that is a consequence of war, but that doesn't mean that I want a moment to come where I have to contact your family and tell your mother--my sister--that her third child is dead. *  
  
Those words have haunted him for four days.  
  
Wedge Antilles leaned heavily against the window frame, the drink in his hand untouched. It was just past the midnight hour on Borleias and despite the rain storm drenching the planet, there was a constant bustle of activity. He had tried to sleep but his eyes would not close, his mind would not rest. A long breath escaped him as he thought about the nephew he barely knew.  
  
Jag had not reported in or returned to Borleias in the three days he had been granted to go on reconnaissance to Kesna. Both Luke and Leia had assured him that Jaina was all right and because of that, so was Jag. He trusted the Jedi completely; their Force insight never failed them when Wedge called upon it. Yet, as much as their words and assurances were comforting, it was not enough.  
  
The part of him that was practical and realistic worried. He did not possess Jedi powers and therefore could not rely solely on them. Jag had made an agreement with him that he would return in three days. When his nephew had come to inform him that Jaina would be accompanying him, he was relieved that Jag would not be going alone to Kesna.  
  
However, he was concerned for the both of them. He worried that the Yuuzhan Vong had discovered them; that something had happened that prevented them from returning to Borleias. He believed Luke and Leia yet at the same time he couldn't deny his concern.  
  
Jag had been a liaison between the New Republic, the Imperial Remnant, and the Chiss for a little more than two years and yet Wedge hardly knew him. He had wanted to spend time with his nephew on a number of occasions, talk to him about his life in the Unknown Regions. He wanted to know about his childhood, his siblings, how his father was fairing, how Syal was...  
  
Wedge closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion weigh heavily on his shoulders. Syal. When was the last time had seen his sister? When was the last time they had talked? A lifetime ago. He wondered if his sister knew that his eldest daughter was named for her. He wondered if Jag had spoken of her brother's family. He wondered how she endured the deaths of two of her children, how she found the courage to go on. He wondered if there would ever come a time when he would see her again.  
  
Jag would be the bridge between the families. He believed that deep in his soul. His nephew's presence on Borleias made him feel closer to his sister somehow; he could see her spirit and her strength in his eyes. When he had first met him two years ago, he had been struck by the similarities between them. They had resembled each other in appearance and Jag was gifted with remarkable piloting skill, no doubt inherited from both Antilles and Fel bloodlines. His nephew's personality at the time was identical to Soontir's when he had been with the New Republic. Arrogant, confident, cool, and calculating. A smile touched Wedge's lips as he recalled thinking that Jag had been born without a personality.  
  
That had all changed the evening he walked into his office asking to go on a recon mission alone. Jag had reminded him so much of himself at that age. He had shown a passion and belief in himself that was refreshing. He pleaded with him not as an officer but as family. He appealed to his rebellious nature and Wedge had found himself coaxed into allowing Jag to go on this mission and then to take Jaina with him.  
  
Now he feared he had sent his nephew and another Solo to their deaths.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
Wedge started, surprised by the soft voice behind him. He turned and saw his eldest daughter, Syal, standing just inside the living area of their quarters. Her hair was tousled from sleep, her eyes droopy from weariness. She stood in her pajamas, arms folded across her chest.  
  
Setting his glass down on the table near the window, Wedge walked over and squatted in front of her. "What are you doing up at this hour?" Even as he asked the question, he already knew the answer.  
  
"I had another nightmare."  
  
He noticed now in the dim lighting of the room that his daughter's cheeks were stained with dried tears, that her eyes were haunted and afraid. Wedge wrapped her in his arms. "Hush, love. You're safe now."  
  
"Will it ever stop, Dad? Will I ever stop dreaming about Coruscant?"  
  
The pain in her voice robbed him of breath. He hated that his family was subjected to the horrors of Coruscant's fall. He hated that his girls had witnessed things they never should have seen. Since the war with the Vong began he had noticed changes in himself. He felt a rage and contempt that he had never known before. There was a violence in him that scared him; he wanted to smash the Vong and anyone else who tried to hurt his family. His enemies would pay dearly for trying to harm his family, for giving his daughters nightmares.  
  
They would pay with their lives.  
  
Wedge shook the anger and hatred from him. He did not want Syal to see that side of him. He pulled back far enough to look into her face, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I can't promise you that the nightmares will stop. I still have nightmares about things that I have seen, that I have been through."  
  
Wedge brushed stray strands of hair away from her eyes. "However, if you think about all the good things in your life, I promise that they nightmares won't seem so bad. You have me, your mother, Myri, and many friends and that is more than a lot of people have. If you concentrate on the good things, it will get better."  
  
Syal nodded slowly. "Is that why you're awake, Dad? Because you had a nightmare?"  
  
Wedge frowned. "I wish that were the case."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
He sighed, studying his daughter's face. Syal was just as perceptive as her mother; nothing could get past her curious mind. Wedge took her hand and brought her over to the sofa. He sat down, drawing her up onto his lap. "There is a lot going on right now, you know. I have a lot on my mind."  
  
"You're worried about Jag."  
  
Wedge blinked. Syal was studying him with the same intensity he had given her moments ago. She brought one hand up around his neck, the other rested over his hand. "Why do you say that?"  
  
Syal pursed her lips in thought. "Because he was suppose to be back yesterday. He and Jaina."  
  
"I'm surprised you've noticed that." he admitted.  
  
"He promised to take me for a spin in his ship." Syal grinned, a slight blush fusing her cheeks. "I was counting the days until he came back." She rested her head against his shoulder. "You're worried that something has happened to them?"  
  
Wedge nodded. "Luke and Leia have reassured me that they are okay, but I'm still concerned. I don't have Force powers so it's hard sometimes to rely on them."  
  
"Do you think that Jag and Jaina are in danger?"  
  
"I don't know, Syal." He confessed, drawing his daughter closer. "Anything can happen on a recon mission. I hope they are okay."  
  
"I don't know Jag very well, but I want to. He seems like he can be fun guy, but he's a little stiff."  
  
Wedge laughed as Syal smiled up at him. "Well, he was raised differently than we were."  
  
Syal rubbed her eyes while at the same time trying to fight her exhaustion. "I was named for his mother, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What is she like?"  
  
Sadness swept over him like a giant wave engulfing the shoreline.*How to answer that?* Wedge sighed, tapping his finger thoughtfully on Syal's knee. "That's tough for me to say, sweetie. I haven't seen my sister in too long a time. I really don't anything about her anymore. I remember that she was beautiful; her hair was blonde like yours and she had a wild spirit." He smiled. "You are very much like her in that regard."  
  
"Will we ever get to meet her?"  
  
"I hope so."  
  
Syal wrapped her other arm around Wedge's neck and hugged him with all her might. "Don't worry, Dad. Jag and Jaina will come home safely. I just know it."  
  
Wedge smiled. "You have Jedi powers now?"  
  
Syal grinned up at him. "No. He has to come back and take me for a flight in his ship or I'll break his kneecaps." 


	20. Chapter 20

Jaina sighed against his chest, still wearing the dress she had found. The makeshift blanket was pulled up to her neck, keeping her warm against the chill in the room. The fire had burned out hours ago but Jag didn't want to disturb Jaina from her sleep. Not only that, he was too comfortable to move. He tightened his grip around her back and felt Jaina shift toward him with the movement. The room was beginning to brighten with the onset of day, yet Jag still felt as if he was shrouded in darkness.  
  
He had not been prepared for last night or the emotions that the evening brought out in him. He had enjoyed talking with Jaina about their favourite things and sharing stories from their childhood. They had danced a number of times to the songs that she had found in the armoire, each taking turns teaching the other complicated footwork. They had enjoyed a dinner of soup and ration bars, drank wine that tasted sweet and potent enough to tarnish their sobriety. They had been serious in nature and they had laughed.  
  
Jag blew out a long breath, his stare on the ceiling. When he had come back to the dining hall with the wine and wood for the fire, Jaina had been wearing the dress she had found. It seemed as though it had been tailor made for her. The material hugged her body like a second skin. He had been struck at how beautiful she looked. He didn't think she could be more radiant that she already was, however at that moment, when she turned to face him, the blush on her cheeks contradicting the mischief in her smile, he knew that he could no longer deny his feelings for her.  
  
There was a war raging outside Drognan for the very survival of the galaxy and here they were kissing and holding each other as if they were the only two people in the universe.  
  
It was an odd time to fall in love.  
  
*This is the perfect place for us, Jag. This is our place. What happens here, between us, stays that way. No one will have to know what we did.* Jag closed his eyes as the memory of Jaina's lovely brandy-brown eyes pleading with him came rushing back. She had been both innocent and seductive and it had taken all of his strength to refrain from giving in to the temptation she had presented him with. They couldn't give in to their attraction and even as she tried to convince him otherwise, Jaina had already known the outcome of the evening.  
  
His eyes opened and Jag turned his head slightly to study the sleeping beauty next to him. Jaina loved him. He had confessed his love for her. He had been perplexed about the new and wondrous feelings emerging from deep inside him. Now, he felt as if he were more confused than before. It made absolutely no sense to him and he hated that his emotions were slowly slipping from his control.  
  
*If this is what my father felt like when he was falling in love with Mother then I understand why he suffered from migraine headaches when he was younger.*  
  
Jaina sighed again and she stretched an arm out across his chest. Jag watched her as she slowly woke from her slumber, her face turning instantly to meet his gaze. Her eyes were heavy with sleep and her left cheek was a little red from being pressed against his chest all night. Stifling a yawn, she grinned.  
  
"Good morning, handsome."  
  
"Good morning, beautiful."  
  
Her grin lengthened. "If you think I look beautiful in the morning, then you've fallen out of your Clawcraft too many times."  
  
"Hey, I only fell out of my ship once."  
  
"Once that you're confessing to." She snuggled against him, the fingers of the hand on his chest gently caressing his bare skin. "How did you sleep?"  
  
"Better than I have since we've been here. You?"  
  
"The most peaceful sleep I've had in a long time."  
  
"Well, it certainly didn't sound peaceful."  
  
"What do you mean? Did I move around a lot?"  
  
"No. You snore like a herd of banthas."  
  
Jag braced himself for her reply and wasn't disappointed. Jaina punched him in the gut and he huffed in pain. "I most certainly do not snore!"  
  
"Just because you're a Jedi doesn't mean that you're immune to making long, loud sounds while you sleep." Jag laughed as the second blow nailed him.  
  
"You better watch what you say to me, Fel. My hand is in a precarious spot right now and I could inflict a lot of pain."  
  
That made him wince. "Affirmative."  
  
Jaina smiled and Jag was thankful to feel her hand shift from his stomach to his shoulder. She draped a leg over his, effectively pinning him on the floor. He got the impression that she favoured this position since every night she fell asleep against him like this.  
  
Either that or she enjoyed torturing him.  
  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"You can ask me anything."  
  
Jag felt her breath against his skin, warm and sweet. "Why did you want to go on this recon mission alone?"  
  
The image of his uncle and Luke Skywalker standing in Wedge's office came back to him, the conversation played in his mind as if it had just occurred. "As I mentioned before, the Chiss are not willing to make any commitments to the war right now and I've been feeling as if I'm not contributing enough to the cause. Politically, it may not be my war, however technically, it is. This battle doesn't just affect the New Republic, it affects all of us." He paused briefly. "I just felt that I had to do more."  
  
She nodded against him. "That's why you feared losing your father's respect."  
  
Jag was surprised she remembered that. "Yes. I was sent as a scout, to gather information and return to my father with my findings. He's not going to be pleased to learn that I've made a commitment to Twin Suns."  
  
"What does Shawnkyr think?"  
  
His lips pursed in thought. "I haven't really talked to her about it. She's not going to be happy about it since my commitment to Uncle Wedge will mean she may have to stay as well."  
  
Jaina shifted, bringing herself to rest on her stomach. She tucked her hands underneath her chin, propping her head to study him better and she winced a little at the pressure against her broken ribs. "So, you're doing this to prove a point to your father?"  
  
Jag pondered that for a moment. "No. At least, I don't think I'm doing this to prove a point. I don't like sitting around doing nothing when I know that I can help in some way."  
  
"Well, I think I can speak for many when I say that we're grateful for any assistance you can provide us."  
  
He grinned, leaning forward a little to kiss her forehead. Jaina closed her eyes at the touch. "I'll do what I can."  
  
"Can I ask you another question?" she asked, opening her eyes.  
  
Jag smirked. "Are you always this inquisitive in the morning?"  
  
"No, but I've been wondering something for a while now and I kept forgetting to ask you about it. I figure I better get it out now before it slips my mind again."  
  
"All right. What is it?"  
  
Jaina paused while she chose her words. "Back on Hapes you said something to me that made me angry and I want to know why you said it."  
  
"If I recall, we both said a lot of things on Hapes that made the other angry. What did I say?"  
  
"You said that I should keep to my rank. That anything more would be 'redundant'. Given the fact that we've kissed a number of times in the last few days, I'm now confused by what you meant by that."  
  
Jag raised an eyebrow. "What did you think I meant by that?"  
  
A blush hit her cheeks and she looked away from him briefly. "I thought you were trying to tell me, in your own warped way, that I wasn't good enough for you and that I shouldn't entertain the notion that you and I might become more than friends."  
  
He felt the laughter bubble in his throat but he kept it in. He didn't think Jaina would appreciate it. "I thought that you may have read something into that statement that I never intended."  
  
She turned back to him, her expression puzzled. "Well, what did you mean?"  
  
This time he felt his cheeks flush. "I was trying to tell you not to marry Prince Isolder, without actually coming out and saying it. I guess I'll never make a good politician since it's clear I'm terrible with words."  
  
Jaina laughed, bringing one hand down to rest against his. "You thought I was going to marry Tenal Ka's father?"  
  
"You know that her grandmother was trying to arrange it. I thought---"  
  
"Jagged Fel, were you jealous?"  
  
"What?" He blinked and wondered how his face could feel even hotter than it was. Sitting up a little, he looked at Jaina, surprised. "No! That's not what I was going to say---"  
  
"So, you weren't jealous then?" Her eyes sparkled with amusement.  
  
"Well, no--I mean, yes, I guess I was a little, but---"  
  
She laughed again and leaned up to kiss him. Her lips were soft and moist, the kiss short yet sweet. "You are so cute when you're tongue-tied."  
  
He made a face. "I don't like being tongue-tied."  
  
Jaina's smile turned mischievous. "Are you sure about that?"  
  
Before he could answer, she kissed him again, her tongue tracing the seam of his lips, teasing him until Jag opened his mouth to hers. He savoured the taste of her, deepening the kiss. Sweetly, slowly, instilling in the kiss all the unspoken emotions he felt swell in his heart.  
  
She broke the kiss, pulling away from him a little, the smile gone from her face. Her expression was solemn, her eyes no longer sparkling. They were sad.  
  
Reaching out, he ran his fingers softly through her hair. "What is it?"  
  
"Do you hear that?"  
  
Jag frowned, glancing briefly around the room. He listened and after a moment he understood the source of her unhappiness. He looked back to her and noticed unshed tears in Jaina's eyes.  
  
Silence.  
  
Gently disentangling himself from her embrace, Jag pushed himself up from the floor and walked to the window. The stone floor was cold against his feet, a shiver ran along his spine. Outside the ground was white, mounds of snow were piled high against the stone house, the green of the trees was unnoticeable and the lake near the house was frozen over. Slow moving clouds rolled in from the west and a gentle wind shook the shrubbery surrounding the structure.  
  
The storm was over. 


	21. Chapter 21

The dishes had been cleaned and placed on the chest near the door. The candles on the mantle had burned down to the very last of the wick. The curtains that had served as their blankets had been dusted off and put back on the curtain rods they belonged to. The fire had not been re-ignited when they'd woken; the embers had quickly turned cold and ashen. The 'fresher had been cleaned up, the damp cloths hung on the rusted hooks to dry. The dining hall had been straightened up and everything seemed in place.  
  
Jaina fastened the utility belt around her waist; noticed the torn fabric of her flight suit. She sighed heavily, looking around the room to make sure she hadn't missed anything. For the last hour she had been trying to think of a way to stay longer on Drognan. She thought about telling Jag that her ribs still bothered her and she wasn't flight-ready yet. She considered suggesting that he leave her here while he summoned a transport to come and pick her up. She contemplated feigning illness, she imagined she could fool him into thinking she had fainted while staying in a Jedi trance for a few hours.  
  
No matter what excuse she tried to come up with, they all led back to the fact that sooner or later they would have to return to Borleias.  
  
She stood in front of the table, her fingers resting on the back of a chair. The dress she had worn the night before was laid flat on the surface of the table, still damp from the washing she had given it. Her fingers traced over the soft material, the memory of last night so very fresh in her mind.  
  
If someone had asked her months ago if she thought that she and Jag would become more than friends she would have laughed in their face. After last night, she couldn't imagine being just a friend to him. In the last several days they had confided in each other and shared stories and thoughts and feelings and Jaina wanted to forever stay in this little paradise with Jag; to spend the rest of her life discovering all his secrets, talking of his hopes and dreams, learning not only his mind but his body. She wanted to share her life with him and the uncertainty of what may yet happen in this war threatened to rob her of that future.  
  
She wished she could take the dress with her. It was a reminder of the most wonderfully sweet night of her life. Her mind constantly replayed the waltz Jag had led her through and the way their bodies had moved as one. Her lips yearned to feel the gentle press of his again. Her heart pounded in her chest at the very thought of him. She felt fluttery and light all over and wanted to spend every waking moment with him.  
  
Once they returned to Borleias things would be different. They would revert back to their professional relationship and continue about as if nothing had happened. Jaina didn't want that to happen yet it was the most logical thing for them to do. They needed to remain focused on the task at hand and she had already learned that when she was around Jag it was very easy to become distracted. It would be good for them to be back in action again. She would resume command of Twin Suns. Jag would willingly fly with her and follow her orders. She would be around her family again and they would be able to begin healing together.  
  
Yet she would trade it all for one more day with Jag.  
  
Jaina walked to the other end of the table where the music player still sat. She turned it on and the voice of Isadora Falansi began to play. She had already listened to it once while Jag was out checking the Clawcraft. The soft, poignant voice of the Taanab native gently carried throughout the dining hall, slicing through the silence.  
  
She turned half-way to face toward the windows. Outside it was still gray but the snow no longer hindered her vision and Jaina could see some of the trees that surrounded the fortified house. As much as she tried to squelch them before they started, tears began to stream her cheeks and she felt an unbearable ache grip her heart.  
  
She did not want to go.  
  
"All systems are back online and operational." Jag was staying as he entered the room. "I'll have to have someone take a look at the engine when we get back."  
  
Jaina swiped at her cheeks before she turned to face him. She didn't want him to see her tears. She needed to be strong now. "You mean you're actually going to let someone else touch your ship?"  
  
"No. I said I'll have someone take a look at it."  
  
Turning to face him, she put on her best brave face. "If you think that it's unsafe, I could wait here and you go and get help. I don't mind waiting for a transport."  
  
He stripped off his flight gloves and set them down on the table next to the dress. He was dressed in his flight suit as well and Jaina wondered briefly if there was ever a time where Jag didn't look handsome. She had yet to see that moment.  
  
"I'm not leaving you here alone and I wouldn't consider flying if I didn't think it wasn't safe." He walked over to the fireplace, checking to make sure there were no lingering flickers of flame. "It may be a tight fit but the journey back is only four, maybe five hours."  
  
"I'm not sure I'm flight ready." she said, placing her hand on her left side.  
  
Jag turned to face her. "Did you put your binding back on?"  
  
"Well, no. I didn't think I needed it."  
  
"As soon as we get to Borleias, we'll get you to the med-ward. You'll be feeling like yourself in no time."  
  
*Looks like the Jedi trance trick is my last resort.*  
  
Even as she thought about faking a fainting spell, Jaina knew it wouldn't work. Jag was being reasonable. Their families were worried about them. They couldn't delay it any longer.  
  
She walked slowly back over to where the dress lay and stood next to Jag. "I tried to put the drapes back up but the brackets are broken."  
  
Jag nodded. "I accidently broke them while taking them down. I hope the owners don't get too upset when they see it."  
  
"Do you think they'll ever come back? The owners?"  
  
"I don't know. I'd have to say no, considering the shape this place was in when we got here."  
  
Her fingers ran over the shimmersilk once more. "I wish I could take this with me. If the owners come back, they might be upset to find it gone."  
  
"We can have a dress designed just like it when the war is over."  
  
Jaina looked up at him and saw the faint sparkle in his eyes. His arms were folded across his chest and he was watching her pensively. She touched on his feelings and was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who regretting leaving Drognan. She turned to face him, placed a hand on his arm.  
  
"Can't we stay just a little longer? A few hours won't make a difference."  
  
Jag sighed, taking both of her hands in his. He held them gingerly, his thumbs slowly stroking her skin. "We have to get back, Jaina. You know that."  
  
"I know." She lowered her head, staring at their feet. "What's going to happen to us?"  
  
He tensed a little and Jaina sensed the uncertainty course through him as he considered that question. After a moment of silence, he answered simply, "I don't know."  
  
"I'm afraid, Jag." Jaina felt the tears start again and struggled to force them down. "I'm afraid that when we get back we're going to get lost in this war and we're not going to find our way back to each other. That we're not going to find our way back to this moment."  
  
A finger caught under her chin and Jag brought her stare back up to meet his. He gently wiped away a tear. "I'm not going to let that happen. We will always have this moment. I'm not gong to forget, Jaina. Not Drognan. Not you."  
  
"I don't want to go back to the killing and the destruction. I want to stay here, where there is nothing but peace and happiness and love." Her bottom lip started to quiver and Jaina thought she was going to lose all her composure and break down in Jag's arms.  
  
"Nor do I." He brushed her hair away from her eyes then took her hands in his again. "I'm afraid that when we get back to Borleias I'm going to revert back to the person I was before we came here. I don't want that to happen. I'm just beginning to discover things about myself that I never knew existed. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I like who I am becoming."  
  
"So do I." She managed a smile and when Jag returned the gesture, Jaina's heart skipped a beat. *If this is what falling in love feels like, I don't ever want to feel anything else again.* Taking his hands, she led him over to the spot they had designated the dance floor the night before.  
  
"One more dance? Before we leave?"  
  
Jag's smile grew. "Are you going to treat me to that rather evocative dance you did last night?"  
  
Jaina felt her cheeks flush. "No. I was half-drunk when I did that. I'm rather embarrassed by that."  
  
"Don't be. I rather enjoyed it." He glanced around the room. "I think there is still some wine left..."  
  
"Jag!" She punched him in the shoulder and smirked when he grunted.  
  
"You enjoy inflicting pain on me don't you?"  
  
She laughed and happily went into his embrace. "It's not my fault you're an easy target."  
  
"Ah. A flaw in my upbringing then."  
  
The song that started to play was an enchanting melody, the singer's voice graceful and lovely. Jaina expected Jag to start leading her through the waltz but he did not move. They stood between windows and table, hands laced as if to fuse them as one. She pulled back a little to glance up at him.  
  
*Once, as my heart remembers, all the stars were fallen embers. Once, when night seemed forever. I was with you.*  
  
He was looking down at her.  
  
Jaina reached out her hand and brushed her fingers over his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin and the slight prickle of stubble. He was studying her, unsmiling. His lips were hot and full beneath her fingers. Just beneath the sombreness of his look was another man, one who looked down on her with sparking pale green eyes.  
  
She wondered briefly if there had been a time she had feared Jag. Not because of his ability as a pilot but because of the man she had been introduced to. She couldn't feel fear in his presence ever, she realized. Not now, not after spending the last several days on Drognan with him. He fascinated her. There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. It was as if he saw her as a woman and had his own thoughts about what he'd like to do with her.  
  
He could silence her with a look and make her cheeks blush. Not from embarrassment but instead anticipation. Her blood rushed, hot, through her body. Her breath grew tight.  
  
*Once, in the care of morning, in the air was all belonging. Once, when that day was dawning, I was with you.*  
  
Jag lowered his head slowly. Jaina simply waited and sighed when she felt the texture of his lips, the heat of his mouth. She arched closer to him, her lips falling open beneath his. He coaxed her to him, the emotion hinted at in his gaze there fully in his kiss. He murmured something, a word, an endearment or a command, she wasn't sure. His hand came up and gently flattened against her cheek, tilted her head. She moaned, a simple sound that echoed her body's enchantment with such a thing. Her helpless murmur connected them, a breath passed from one to the other. The kiss grew deeper until there was only shadows in her mind.  
  
She wanted to be inhaled by him.  
  
*How far we are from morning, how far we are? And the stars shining through the darkness, falling in the air.*  
  
A breath escaped her, one and then another. There were no thoughts in her mind, only an ache that brought no pain. It spread throughout her body, heated her chest, raced to her toes. His lips were soft and warm, the touch of his tongue both shocking and welcomed. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his flight suit, pressing against the texture in frustration. His skin was shielded and covered from her, and she could not touch him, could not feel the heat of him.  
  
Was life given in the power of a kiss? She felt her body change, her breath grow tight. A sensation like fire raged through her. One hand wound around his neck, the other strayed to his cheek, thumb pressed against his jaw as if to hold him closer. His skin was almost hot beneath her palm.  
  
*Once, as the night was leaving, into us our dreams were weaving. Once, all dreams were worth keeping. I was with you.*  
  
He pulled her toward him, the tightness of their embrace accentuating all their differences. Curves against solid muscle. Hollows pressed into hard flesh. His height and strength. Her softness.  
  
Something within her whimpered, craved him. Demanded him. Something wild and yearning.  
  
Long moments later, he lifted his head, ending the kiss. Jaina blinked and opened her eyes, a sound of protest on her lips. Jag's expression was tense with passion, his eyes filled with the same desire she felt deep in her soul.  
  
He leaned forward a little and gently rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Jaina." his voice was a whisper against her skin.  
  
She closed her eyes, tears stung her cheeks. Not from pain. Tears of joy. "I love you, too."  
  
*Once, when our hearts were singing, I was with you.*  
  
**Note: The lyrics are from a song entitled "Fallen Embers" and can be found on Enya's CD "A Day Without Rain." I thought it a fitting ballad for this moment. :) 


	22. Chapter 22

"I love you, too."  
  
Jaina's cheeks were wet with tears. Not from sorrow but from joy. The smile she graced him with carried from her lips to her brandy-brown eyes and he wondered how it was possible that she could look even more lovely to him now than she did only moments ago. He found that she was just as radiant in a tattered flight suit as she was in an evening gown of shimmersilk.  
  
He knew the moment he professed his love for her his life would never be the same.  
  
She reached up and rested the palm of her hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes briefly, savouring the feel of her touch on his skin. He didn't know when they would be able to share a moment like this again and even though they had to return to Borleias, he wished that they could have had the luxury of staying on Drognan for at least one more day.  
  
Jag cradled her face as he drew her in for another kiss. Jaina sighed and closed her eyes, waiting expectantly for his touch. Was it possible that she had such power over him? That a gentle breath or simple look could turn his heart over in his chest and make him yearn for something so much more?  
  
Love and desire surged through him as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Jaina pressed herself closer to him, the hand on his cheek falling against his shoulder. She opened her mouth easily for him, a breathy little moan escaping her. The sound of it made his heart race, passion laced with tenderness surged through him.  
  
Jaina pulled back, a little step far enough so she could look up at him. Spots of red marked her cheeks, her eyes dazzled with the same hint of longing he felt stir in him. "We should get ready to go." she whispered. The sadness in her voice pained him.  
  
He nodded. "Do we have everything?"  
  
"I think so." She touched his arm as she walked past him, walking over to the fireplace. Jag half-turned and watched her as she stopped at the hearth. She reached out and took one of the candleholders. Turning it over in her hand, she kept her stare focused on it. She seemed mesmerized by the stone it was made from.  
  
"When you look back on our stay here, what would you say was your favourite memory?"  
  
The question puzzled him. "You expect me to choose one?"  
  
Jaina didn't turn to him. She continued to study the candleholder as if she was using it to help keep her composure. She slumped a little and leaned lightly against the mantle. "I know it's difficult to chose, but if you could take one moment and store it away in your head forever, what one would it be?"  
  
Jag pondered that and found that he couldn't pinpoint a single moment. There were so many to choose from. He turned away, bringing his stare to fall on the chair in front of him. Hanging over the back of it was the two drapes they had used as blankets and folded neatly on top of them was the shirt Jaina had worn. His fingers grazed the material and the image of Jaina sitting on the floor wearing his shirt while snuggled underneath the warmth of the drapes flashed through his mind.  
  
"If I had to choose," she said, breaking the silence, "I'd have to say my favourite memory would be when I first woke up after the crash." She set the candleholder down but her fingers still rested against the base of it. "I remember feeling warm and safe in your arms and when you took care of my injury, you were so gentle with me. You were kind and compassionate; trying to talk to me and keep my thoughts preoccupied so I wouldn't feel the pain of my broken ribs. " He wasn't facing her, but Jag heard the faint sound of Jaina turn toward him. "I knew at that moment that I loved you."  
  
Jag grinned and picked up the shirt. He could still smell the scent of her on the material. Or perhaps he could still smell her on his skin from when they slept. He struggled to find a word to describe it. Sweet, he finally decided. It a sweet scent that he could easily lose himself in.  
  
Turning the shirt over in his hands, he glanced over his shoulder toward Jaina. "I don't think I can name one specific moment, however if I had to chose one, I'd have to say that it was falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up to find you still there."  
  
Jaina blushed and looked back toward the fireplace. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep without you next to me."  
  
Jag picked up the backpack and put the shirt inside then snapped it shut. He then circled the table and shut off the music player, taking the small disk out and putting it away with the other ones. He put them back in the armoire but left the dress on the table so it would dry. He hoped that if they owners ever came back to this place, they wouldn't be too upset.  
  
"I'll never forget this place."  
  
He almost didn't hear Jaina's voice, so quiet was she. Her back was to him and she was staring downward toward the ashes in the fireplace. Her arms were folded across her chest. She seemed fragile at that moment, as if she feared she would break if she moved.  
  
Jag closed the armoire then walked over to her. He stood behind her, heard her fight back a sob. He felt a little awkward and thought it strange that he should feel that way, given all they'd been through. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. She welcomed his support and leaned against him, her arms folding over his. Jag rested his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"I don't know what's going to happen once we return to Borleias. We both know that in wartime, anything is possible." He paused, thinking out his words. He had the feeling that she needed to hear something from him, a reassurance that things were going to be okay between them. He didn't want to give her any false hopes and he wanted every word he spoke in this moment to come directly from his heart. He had never been in love; it was difficult to find the appropriate words.  
  
"I do know that I want to stay with you and help fight this war." he continued, giving her a gentle squeeze. "There may come a time when my responsibilities may force me to return to the Unknown Regions. My commitments there could keep me away for a short time or indefinitely. " He paused and kissed her neck. "I want you to know that should that happen, I will do whatever necessary to find my way back to you."  
  
"Do you mean that? Truly?" She almost sounded surprised by his admission.  
  
Jag smiled. "Yes, I do. If you and I still have these feelings for each other then, and they are as strong and deep as they are now, then, yes. I can't imagine my life without you."  
  
"Oh, Jag." She turned in his arms and kissed him. A wave of love and desire poured through him. A desire edged with poignancy for although he loved Jaina, he knew that he couldn't make any solid commitments to her because of the war with the Yuuzhan Vong. They had to realistic for anything could happen. However, right now and every moment he was granted with her, he would cherish each and every second. She was life; giving him breath, warming him with her touch, feeding him with her kisses.  
  
Jaina pulled away and walked over to the chest. She picked up her helmet and flight gloves then turned to the double doors. "We should go before I do something drastic, like throw myself down those stairs, just so I'm not flight ready." She grinned, opening the door.  
  
Jag smirked. "I'm guessing you really didn't crash. This was all some grand scheme to get me alone." He walked over to the table and grabbed his flight gloves and the backpack.  
  
Her smile was innocent. The glint in her eyes was not. "I'll never tell."  
  
Following her out into the hallway, Jag strapped the backpack over one shoulder, turning to close the door to the dining hall. His hand rested on the doorknob as his gaze returned to the room that he and Jaina had shared for the past several days. The room had been transformed into a cozy little sanctum, filled with love and warmth.  
  
Now it was cold and empty.  
  
Jag stood frozen in front of the door, his eyes transfixed on the only window that bore no curtains. Two mornings ago he had stood there, staring out at the snowstorm, wondering about his feelings for Jaina and the sweeping changes he felt happening within. He was growing as a person, learning more about himself here on Drognan then he had in a very long time. In Jaina's presence he had managed to relax and talk to her about things he wouldn't dare share with anyone else. He had laughed and he had even shed some tears. He had learned a little about her background, shared with her some of his stories. He had held and kissed her with a boldness that surprised him and found it easy to want to continue doing so when he was in her presence.  
  
He liked the person he was becoming. He looked at things differently, thought about life and love, war and conflict in a different context than was instilled in him. He was discovering that there was a life for him outside the cockpit of his ship. His eyes shifted toward the spot where he and Jaina had danced, where he had kissed her with a daring possession that he didn't know existed in him. *I wonder what kind of person I would have been if I was raised in the New Republic.*  
  
His hand was trembling. Jag looked down at the floor. Was it possible that he was afraid to leave Drognan? He knew the answer even as the question came to mind. He did not want to close the door to the dining hall. If he closed the door he would be locking away the person he was becoming. He would return to Borleias and revert back to the man he was before he left for Kesna. It was a silly thought and he cursed it the moment it entered his head.  
  
"Jag?"  
  
He started, surprised by Jaina's voice. He looked over at her and noticed her concern. She must have sensed his thoughts, he realized, and he cursed silently to himself. She stood at the main doors, her smile soft. "I'm coming." he replied gruffly.  
  
He closed the door over, leaving it opened just a little.  
  
Following Jaina out of the house, Jag closed the main doors over, shoving hard to make sure that they did not blow open again like they had done when they first arrived. He put on his flight gloves and joined Jaina at the path at the end of the stairs. She held out her gloved hand to him.  
  
He took her hand and started walking along the lake toward the Clawcraft. The wind wasn't blowing too hard yet it was still crisp against his cheeks. The storm had created a multitude of giant snow mounds and they struggled through snow drifts that were knee-high. A few times Jaina fell and she had to stop a few times when her ribs throbbed with her efforts. Jag pulled her behind him and had her follow in his footsteps, making her walk a little easier.  
  
The air was filled with the sounds of animals native to Drognan. They passed by a group of low snow drifts and Jag almost fell backward when Jaina pulled him to a stop. He turned toward her and his breath hitched. The wind was gently whipping her hair around her face yet she seemed unaware of it. Her gaze was turned toward the lake. It was frozen over from the storm and looked like a giant sheet of transparisteel. The trees and shrubbery were coated white, the clouds broke to grace the sky with a light touch of deep blue.  
  
"Isn't it beautiful?"  
  
"Very beautiful."  
  
Jaina glanced at him and blushed, realizing he wasn't talking about the lake. She gave him a little shove and Jag started walking again. They made the trip to the Clawcraft in silence and after ten minutes of manoeuvring around the snow drifts and fallen branches, they reached the ship.  
  
The ship already bore footprints from where he had climbed up and into the cockpit earlier in the day when he was checking the systems. It was difficult to clean off the viewport and Jag had found he had to lay flat on his stomach and lean down over to remove most of the snow. It wouldn't make any difference once they reached the atmosphere, but he needed to see to get that far.  
  
Pulling himself up on the ship, Jag popped the access hatch and leaned forward into the cockpit. He popped the compartment open behind his chair and put the backpack away. He came up again and looked down at Jaina. She was glancing at him with a doubtful expression on her face.  
  
"Don't worry. We'll fit in there."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
He shrugged. "Does it matter? You're not staying here by yourself." Reaching down, he held his hands out to her. "Come on, Goddess. Your chariot awaits."  
  
Jaina laughed, tossing her helmet up to him. He caught it in mid-flight and rested it on his lap. Jaina leaned up and Jag heaved her up in one fluent motion. Passing her back her helmet, he turned and lowered himself into cockpit.  
  
Grabbing his helmet, he rested it just behind him and looked up. Jaina was looking down at him, shaking her head. "Your turn."  
  
She paused for a moment then disappeared from his sight. He heard her moving around then she was back. With a perky little bounce, she dropped down into the cramped confines of the cockpit. She landed hard in his lap and Jag grunted rather loudly and winced.  
  
"Sorry." Jaina said, her back pressed against him.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Jag said through gritted teeth. "Would you mind moving your right leg please?"  
  
"It's so small in here. Where do you expect me to put it?"  
  
"I don't really care." Jag groaned again and tried to shift himself in the seat. That was a mistake and he cursed loudly. *So much for having children...*  
  
"No need to get angry." Jaina replied sweetly. He thought he heard a note of laughter in her voice and he made a mental note to reprimand her for her humour during his discomfort. "Maybe I should stay here. We can't fly like this."  
  
"I'm not leaving you here, so get use to it." He reached up and sealed the hatch.  
  
Jaina turned in his lap and the movement surprised him. Jag winced again, his head fell back against the chair. "Will you tell me when your going to move like that!?!"  
  
"Sorry." Jaina was half-turned toward him, her face radiant in the dim glow of the cockpit. "Maybe I should turn around and face you and rest my head on your shoulder. That might be more comfortable for you---"  
  
"No, it wouldn't." He reached behind him, fumbling around for his helmet.  
  
"You don't think so---"  
  
"Trust me." He choked on the words and shoved his helmet on so fast he whacked his head in the process. A sensation passed through him, one of both pain and pleasure and the idea of leaving Jaina on Drognan suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea.  
  
"If you say so." Jaina shifted again, this time more gently. She put on her helmet and leaned as far back against him as she could. Her head came to rest on his left shoulder, her hands resting on her legs. "You better strap us in."  
  
Jag adjusted the restraints, doing his best to make sure they were both secure in the seat. To say that the predicament was awkward was an understatement and the fact that Jaina seemed to be enjoying herself annoyed him. Once they were settled in, he slipped his arms through hers and gripped the controls. The Clawcraft came to life, rocking for a moment before lifting off the ground. Jaina gasped in delight, turned her face to his and managed to kiss his cheek. She shifted in his lap again and Jag cursed again.  
  
They came up over the lake and he brought the ship in for a low pass of the house before they left. Jaina sighed against him and she seemed focused on the house outside the cockpit. Jag circled the house, allowing Jaina a look at the place that had been their shelter for the last several days. Regret hit him like a blow to the chest. Perhaps he hadn't truly realized how much this place meant to him until now.  
  
Jaina seemed to echo his thoughts for she was silent as he finished his inspection of the house. She reached out and rested a gloved hand against his. "Goodbye." she whispered.  
  
Jag swallowed past the lump in his throat, diverting his attention to the task at hand. He brought the ship out over the lake then with a quick burst of speed, the Clawcraft headed skyward. Jaina's hand remained firmly on his, helping to guide him.  
  
*Goodbye.* 


	23. Chapter 23

Jaina leaned her head back against Jag's shoulder, ignoring the pain in her ribs. They had been travelling through the mottled realm of hyperspace for almost four hours now and her injury was beginning to bother her because of the lack of movement. Aside from that, she was quite comfortable sitting on Jag's lap, the restraints a tight fit against both of their bodies. She was firmly pinned against him but Jaina didn't mind. She was enjoying the intimacy of the cozy, cramped confines of the cockpit.  
  
Jag, however, was not.  
  
She grinned slightly as he grunted against her ear. Every time she shifted on his lap, even just a little, Jag made a noise of discomfort. His left arm was looped underneath hers and resting on her lap while his right hand was on the controls of the ship.  
  
They had barely spoken a word since leaving Drognan. Jag had expertly guided them to safety, bringing the ship out of the planet's orbit opposite of their point of entry. They had not encountered any proximity or ion mines and once they made the jump to hyperspace, the realization that they were returning to Borleias hit her like a ton of duracrete.  
  
Closing her eyes, Jaina reached out and touched Jag's presence. He was retreating within himself, re-building his defences so they would be in place once they returned to Borleias. Perhaps she should be doing the same thing so that when they arrived it wouldn't hurt so much once they had to walk away from each other and go back to the way things were before they left for Kesna.  
  
They had talked a little in the last four hours. They discussed possible military tactics against the Vong. They talked about planets and systems that were not affected by the war but in danger of becoming another victim of the enemy. Jag explained the workings of the Chiss parliament in a little more detail. Every topic they covered was routed in combat strategies or political encounters.  
  
She wanted to talk about them.  
  
Jaina rested her gloved hand on his arm, felt Jag's surprise. He had been deep in his own thoughts and her touch startled him. She grinned. "Jag?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Talk to me."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"I don't know. Anything." She gently began caressing her fingers along his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin underneath the material. "Tell me how your parents met."  
  
He paused and Jaina wished she could see through his helmet. She wanted to see his pale green eyes, lose herself in the sparkle that settled there when he talked about his family. "They met at a celebration on Coruscant. My father was being given a commendation and my mother was one of the guests." She touched on a faint tinge of humour. "She arrived as someone else's date but by the end of the night, she was being escorted home by Father."  
  
"Was it love at first sight?"  
  
"Yes. At least for my father. He asked my mother out several times before she finally said yes. She was a little nervous about dating a TIE pilot. Not because of what he did, but because of what could happen to him."  
  
Jaina smiled. "Did they date for a long time before they married?"  
  
She felt Jag's head move as he shook his head. "No. They were married within a year." He hesitated briefly then brought his left arm up to wrap around her waist. Jaina sighed, contented. She never thought the trip back to Borleias could be so comfy. "How did your parents meet?"  
  
"In a garbage masher on the Death Star." Jaina snorted.  
  
"Really?" His surprise was endearing.  
  
"Uh-huh. Mom, Dad, Uncle Luke, and Chewie almost became pancakes but Artoo and Threepio rescued them. Mom and Dad had a love-hate relationship for a long time before they finally gave in to their feelings. They shared their first kiss in the stomach of a space slug."  
  
"I don't think I want to hear that story."  
  
Jaina smiled at Jag's disgusted laugh. "When was your first kiss?"  
  
"Now, *that's* a story you don't want to hear."  
  
"Why? What happened? Did you miss her lips?"  
  
"No. It was just...embarrassing."  
  
"It couldn't have been that bad. Please?" She turned her head toward him, smiling sweetly at his masked face. "I promise I won't tell anyone."  
  
He hesitated then nodded. "Okay, but you absolutely cannot tell another living soul. You're not even allowed to think it around your fellow Jedi, got it?"  
  
Jaina squeezed his arm. "I promise."  
  
"All right." His head leaned back against the seat, his arm tightened around her waist. "I was thirteen and my parents were having a party for some visiting Imperial officers. One of the guests was an old friend of my father's." He hesitated and Jaina sensed a rush of humiliation wash over him. "My mother had asked me to show one of the guests to the 'fresher and I was glad to leave the party for a few minutes. I was bored out my of mind."  
  
"Let me guess. Your first kiss was in the 'fresher with one of the Imperial's daughters, right?"  
  
"Well, not exactly. She was quite drunk and once we got to the top of the stairs, she threw me up against the wall and planted one on me. I thought she was going to suck my face off."  
  
Jaina laughed, the picture in her head forming instantly of a younger Jag being accosted by a girl. "That's not embarrassing! That's funny! Was the girl older than you?"  
  
Jag sighed. "Yes. Much older."  
  
"How old?"  
  
"I don't know exactly, but if I had to guess, I'd say probably around forty."  
  
She choked on the last laugh. Without thinking, Jaina half-turned quickly on his lap, facing him. There was a sharp intake of breath followed by a string of expletives she never heard used together before. "What?"  
  
"She was the wife of one of the guests." When he spoke, his voice was strained. "It didn't get any better when Inez came upstairs and saw us. She ran back down yelling, 'Jagged's kissing some old woman!'."  
  
Jaina stared at him, disbelieving. Although she couldn't see his face beneath the helmet, Jag's stare was focused straight ahead. "What happened then?"  
  
"Mrs. Troga stumbled down the stairs telling everyone that I had grabbed her but no one believed her. I was still at the top of the stairs, up against the wall. I couldn't move, I was so stunned. I remember hearing my mother hollering at her and General Troga had to carry her out of the house. Father came up after me and when I turned to look at him, I imagine he looked just as stunned as I was. I slowly walked to the 'fresher and closed the door. Then, I scrubbed my face so hard I could have peeled my skin off. It was just awful. Needless to say, the party was over."  
  
She didn't know what to say. Part of her wanted to laugh. The other part felt sympathy. It must have been terrible for him. "Jag, that's..."  
  
"Disgusting?"  
  
"Very." She squeezed his arm in comfort.  
  
"I bet your first kiss was much better than that."  
  
"I'm sure most people's first kisses are better than *that."*  
  
"Thank you. That makes me feel better."  
  
Jaina grinned. "My first kiss was with Zekk. It was just a little kiss on the lips. Nothing more." *And certainly nothing like the way you kiss me.*  
  
"Well, at least you have a nice memory of your first kiss. I'm forever tormented with the image of giant red lips coming in for the kill."  
  
This time, she couldn't hold back and she laughed, playfully elbowing him in the stomach. Jag huffed in exaggerated pain, sitting up gently in the chair. "I hope that's not how you see me when I come in for the kill."  
  
If she could describe the feeling she sensed in him now, she'd have to say she felt him smile. "Not at all. I see nothing but beautiful brandy-brown eyes and alluring full lips. I could lose myself in your kisses."  
  
She blushed and was thankful the lighting in the cockpit was dim. Did Jag know that he had that affect on her? Jaina remained facing him, resting her head against his shoulder. Her arm came up and draped across his upper chest. "Jag?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Before we left, you said there may come a time when we could be separated and if that happens you'd find a way back to me. That if we felt the same way then that we do now, we'd continue our relationship."  
  
His arm shifted, drawing her closer. "I said that, yes."  
  
"I don't want to wait that long to explore our relationship." Sensing his surprise and his rebuttal to her comment, Jaina quickly continued. She had to say this, had to let him know that waiting and wondering were not good enough for her. She didn't want the war dictating her life with him; it had already taken too much from her.  
  
"After what we went through on Drognan, I can't imagine things going back to the way there were before. I don't want it to. I want to be able to see you, spend time with you. We don't have to tell anyone about us right away. We can just take this time to continue getting to know each other and when we're comfortable enough with the way things are going, then we can tell our families and friends." She turned her head up to his, wishing desperately that she could see his face. "I don't want a time to come where I'm left wondering about what might have been."  
  
He sighed heavily. He wrestled with the same emotions she did. The fear of being separated by either duty or death. The need to be loved, to love in return. The hope of a future together if they survived the war. Regret that they hadn't stayed on Drognan just one more day.  
  
"I thought that if we distanced ourselves from each other it might make things a little easier when we have to head into a fight. I thought that if we put our relationship on hold we might be able to focus our minds and hearts on the fight and not spend time worrying about the other." His masked head came down a little to rest against hers. "I was wrong about that. I don't want to be away from you."  
  
The chronometer sounded softly in the cockpit, alerting them that the trip was nearing its end. There was so much left that she wanted to say to him. Now, there was no time.  
  
Jag's defences were back in place and the wall around his thoughts and feelings once again became impenetrable. However, his heart was open to her and Jaina basked in the glow of his love.  
  
He adjusted his arms through hers, commanding a firm hand on the controls. She leaned back against him again, doing her best to stay out of his way while he prepared to make the reversion to realspace.  
  
Within seconds they emerged in the Pyria System, Borleias greeting them as if it were a beacon guiding them home. Jaina noticed from her awkward view out of the cockpit there were a number of squadrons on patrol in the space around the planet. She was thankful they didn't revert from hyperspace into the middle of a battle.  
  
"Borleias Control, this is Vanguard One, requesting permission to land."  
  
There was a burst of static over the ship's internal comm and the familiar voice of Colonel Tycho Celchu filled the cockpit. " Vanguard One, this is Borleias Control. You've been cleared for landing at grid Three-One." There was a short pause. "Colonel Fel, where is Lieutenant Solo?"  
  
"She's right here with me, Control." Jag's voice was unemotional and calm.  
  
*I miss the Jag I knew on Drognan already.* It was a silly thought, one that brought about a surprising sadness in her.  
  
"I see." Jaina could almost see Tycho's bewilderment. "Okay. Welcome back, One."  
  
Jag replied with a double click, ending the transmission. He angled the ship toward the planet and headed toward Borleias at a leisurely pace.  
  
A familiar presence flooded her mind and Jaina fought back the smirk that wanted to surface. The presence was filled with humour and curiosity.  
  
*Well, well, well. If this isn't a cozy little scene.*  
  
*Shut up, Kyp.*  
  
*Nah. I don't think so. Not this time. This is too good an opportunity to pass up.*  
  
Jaina groaned and noticed the X-Wing approach at the same time she heard Kyp Durron's mental laugh. Before she could warn Jag, Kyp's voice came over the comm.  
  
"Look who decided to come back!"  
  
"Master Durron." She felt Jag nod his head in acknowledgement.  
  
The X-Wing took up position alongside the Clawcraft, matching speed with it. "What happened to Jaina's ship?"  
  
"We exited hyperspace in the middle of a mine field and she took some damage." He had told her earlier in the trip that he had altered his flight data to correspond with the story he planned on telling those who asked about what happened. She still wasn't happy that he was covering up for her mistakes, but Jag was insistent and she didn't have the strength to argue with him.  
  
"She crashed?" Kyp asked, incredulous.  
  
"Yes. The mind field was laced with proximity and ion mines which were cloaked. It was difficult to manoeuvre."  
  
The was a short pause, followed by a tsk, tsk. "Female pilots. Give them a ship and the first thing they do is crash it."  
  
"Kyp!" Jaina shot up as far as she could and instantly regretted it. Not only did her ribs hurt, but Jag jerked underneath her sudden movement and once again he cursed loudly, this time in a dialect she didn't know.  
  
Jaina could almost see Kyp's sympathetic grimace. "What language was *that?*"  
  
"A pained one." Jag deadpanned.  
  
"Sorry." Jaina managed to grant him an apologetic look.  
  
"That must have been the most uncomfortable trip ever."  
  
"Yes, it was, although if Lieutenant Solo didn't squirm so much I might have been able to enjoy it."  
  
"I wasn't referring to her squirming." Kyp snorted. "I was referring to her weight. Your legs must be killing you, Fel."  
  
"Will you stop it, Kyp!" Jaina slammed her fist down and glared out the cockpit toward the X-Wing.  
  
"Dammit, Jaina!" Jag's arm came up around her waist, pulling her hard against him. The action startled her. "Stop moving and don't use me as a punching bag!" She glanced down and noticed her fist had landed squarely against his inner thigh.  
  
"I'm sorry!" she replied, both embarrassed and angry.  
  
*I guess I don't have to ask how things went while you were away.*  
  
Jaina remained silent as Borleias began to fill the cockpit. *When you get out of that ship, buddy-boy, I'm going to be waiting. You are so dead.*  
  
*Promises. Promises.* She heard his mental laugh again, watched the X-Wing turn and head toward a squadron of E-Wings on patrol. Folding her arms across her chest, she grinned. It's good to see you, Kyp.  
  
*You too, kiddo. Welcome back.*  
  
"Glad you made back." Kyp was saying. "I'll see you two later."  
  
"Thank you for the escort. Take care, Master Durron."  
  
The descent into Borleias' atmosphere was uneventful and within minutes they approached the biotics building. The landing grid was just behind it and Jaina sensed the presence of those waiting for them before she saw them.  
  
The Clawcraft hovered briefly and Jaina looked down at the gathering. Wedge and Iella were there with the girls, as well as Uncle Luke, Aunt Mara, who was holding baby Ben, her mother and father. She sensed the same emotions pass from each adult. They were concerned and curious about their arrival in the one ship. She touched on something stir within her father but she couldn't decipher what it was.  
  
Jag set the ship down gently, the engines powering down. Jaina wondered just how much the waiting party could see from their position outside the ship.  
  
"Good thing the viewport's tinted." Jag said, taking his helmet off. His hair was plastered to his head. "Your father would probably kill me if he saw us like this."  
  
Jaina grinned, removing her helmet as well. "Don't worry. I'd protect you from him."  
  
Jag smiled and her heart skipped a beat. She savoured the image of him, knowing that these moments of emotion were going to become rare now that they were back. He leaned around her and shut down the rest of the ship's systems. The cockpit grew dark, the light from outside creating a dim glow around them. "We better get out there and greet our adoring fans."  
  
"Jag, wait." Jaina shifted on his lap, gently this time, and faced him. Placing a hand on his cheek, she drew his gaze to hers. "I just want one more moment with you." Her gloved fingers traced the outline of his jaw then stopped against his chin, preventing him from moving. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his.  
  
She thought he was going to pull back, stop the kiss because of where they were. He didn't though and she sighed softly into his mouth as he opened his lips to hers. His tongue traced her lips gently before slipping into her mouth. His movements were slow and deliberate, as if he were taking in as much of her as he could, enough to last him until he was able to kiss her again.  
  
Jag broke the kiss, his eyes heavy with love and longing. "That probably wasn't a good idea." he said, amused.  
  
"Why is that?" she asked, breathless.  
  
He reached up to pop the access hatch. "Because your face is flushed and now I *know* your father is going to kill me."  
  
Jaina laughed and kissed his cheek. She carefully drew herself up and with a little help from Jag, she climbed up through the hatch. She blinked against the blinding glow of the sun, then looked down at everyone. She carefully stepped around the access hatch and eased herself down the side of the ship.  
  
Her mother was the first one to reach her. "Oh, Jaina!" Leia cried, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I'm so glad you're okay!"  
  
"I'm fine, Mom." She hugged her briefly then repeated the gesture with the other members of her family. Wedge, Iella and the girls came over and embraced her as well.  
  
"What happened to you out there? We were worried when only Jag's ship exited hyperspace." Han wrapped an arm around Jaina, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"We had a run-in with a mine field. I crashed and there was a storm. We had to wait for it to pass before we could leave."  
  
"See, Wedge? I told you everything was going to be okay." Luke smiled at his friend.  
  
"Jaina suffered broken ribs in the crash. I did the best I could with a med- pac, but she should be checked out." Jag appeared from the cockpit and sealed the hatch while he spoke.  
  
"Jaggie!"  
  
Myri Antilles ran over to the ship, waving her arms up at him. Jaina turned and watched as Jag jumped down from the ship, scooped his cousin up in his arms, and spun her around in circles. She giggled, arms wrapped tightly around his neck.  
  
"Hey, squirt! Did you miss me?"  
  
"Of course! Daddy's been too busy to play dolls with me!" He stopped spinning but didn't put her down. Myri reached a hand up and brushed the white lock of hair away from his face. "You're still going to play with me, right?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
Everyone started talking at once. Ben was happily playing with Mara's hair while Leia grilled her about what happened. Luke and Han were talking quietly next to her. Syal ran to her cousin and hugged Jag then asked him why his ship was damaged. Iella took Myri from Jag's arms, pausing long enough to give him a kiss on the cheek. He blushed then turned to his uncle. Wedge smiled and folded Jag in his arms. Instead of looking uneasy as he had in the past, he welcomed his uncle's embrace with the same sincerity it was given.  
  
Jaina was vaguely aware that she was being guided away from the landing grid toward the biotics building. She noticed her father take a quick look over his shoulder at Jag, his expression impassive. She tried to get an idea of what he was thinking about her arrival back on Borleias but Han's thoughts were closed to her. She looked back over her shoulder toward the reunion at the Clawcraft. Jag was talking to Wedge and just as she was about to look away, he glanced in her direction and smiled. 


	24. Chapter 24

For ten minutes Jag stood in the shower not moving, enjoying every drop of hot water that pummelled his body. He never thought he'd be so happy to simply be clean. After that, he finally decided to wash up, the soap he used not pungent like the one on Drognan. It was a musky scent with a hint of spice and it was the most refreshing odour his nose had endured in days.  
  
No, that wasn't entirely true. Even as he exited the shower and began drying off he could still smell Jaina on his skin. Sweet and florid, he never wanted that scent to be erased from his body. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the 'fresher into the small space that served as his living quarters.  
  
There were no windows, just walls painted a lacklustre gray. The floor was covered with a carpet that at one time had been plush but now was coarse underneath his feet. A narrow bed was to his left and against the wall opposite the 'fresher were two chairs and round table. Folded neatly on the table were a pair of boxer-briefs, soft brown trousers, and a white t- shirt. A dresser sat next to the main door. Aside from that, the room was scarcely furnished or decorated. A backpack similar to the one he had on Drognan sat on the floor next to one of the chairs and inside were a few more of his personal belongings.  
  
Jag crossed the room and stopped in front of the table. He dressed slowly, towelling his hair semi-dry before slipping on the shirt. Taking a shower and getting dressed were definitely mundane tasks but to Jag, after spending four days wearing the same clothes, he savoured the feel of every fibre of material that covered him. He ran his fingers through his damp hair, straightening it a little then walked over to the bed. He stared down at the crisp, clean sheets and the plump, firm pillows. With a contented sigh he fell forward, landing on the mattress with a bounce. His face was buried into the sheets, his feet stuck out over the end of the bed. He closed his eyes and even as he told himself he would only rest a few minutes before he went to speak with his uncle, he felt weariness take over and he started to drift asleep.  
  
A knock on the door forced one eye to open. Jag hoped he was dreaming. He felt as if he couldn't move, he was so tired. He hadn't slept much on Drognan since most of his time was spent either taking care of Jaina or pondering the new and sudden changes in him. It was silent for a moment and he closed his eye again.  
  
Another knock.  
  
Groaning, Jag pushed himself up from the bed. Pausing, he rubbed his eyes then straightened his shirt. He almost tripped over his boots as he turned and walked to the door. He thumbed the keypad on the wall and the door rolled back.  
  
Han Solo stood leaning against the doorjamb, his lips curved in a crooked smile.  
  
Jag started, the sight of Jaina's father surprising him. He bumped into the dresser and was suddenly very much awake. He quickly regained his composure and greeted him with a slight bow of the head. "Sir."  
  
"I'm not disturbing you, am I?" Solo's folded arms dropped to his sides, the smile still fixed on his face.  
  
"No, sir. I was---"  
  
"Good." He pushed his way past Jag, entering his quarters.  
  
The door rolled shut and Jag turned around to face the Rebel hero. Solo glanced around the room, nodding slowly to himself. The space seemed smaller somehow and Jag suddenly wished the room had windows. *It would make having witnesses a whole lot easier...*  
  
"I just came from the med-ward." Solo said as he walked over to the table. He turned and leaned against it, his hands resting behind his back on the surface.  
  
Jag remained where he was. "How is your daughter doing?"  
  
"She'll recover. The job you did on her ribs helped a lot and she'll be out of there in a few hours."  
  
"I admit it was the first field dressing I've had to perform. I'm glad I didn't screw it up."  
  
"Yeah, I make a terrible medic too. I'm an even worse patient, or so I'm told."  
  
Jag nodded. The conversation was casual, too casual he thought. He was glad he was standing near the door.  
  
There weren't too many people who could intimidate him, his father and Han Solo the only two that readily came to mind. Corellians. They must have a knack for intimidation, Jag decided. He may not have been born on Corellia but he had Corellian blood in his veins. He wondered briefly if people perceived him the same way as they did the veteran pilots.  
  
"Jaina says that you saved her life."  
  
"Yes, sir. The damage she had taken was critical and she had to abandon ship." Feeling brave, Jag ventured a little further into the room, walking over to stand next to the chair on Solo's right.  
  
Solo turned slightly, his eyes focused on Jag. The expression on his face was impassive. "She says you pulled her out of a lake?"  
  
"Yes. Her ejection seat crashed in the middle of it. I had to go in after her and it was treacherous given the fact the weather was uncooperative. Drognan was in the midst of a massive snowstorm."  
  
"She mentioned that but didn't go into details."  
  
Jag felt a sigh of relief rise in him. He pushed it down, not wanting Jaina's father to question him any further about their activity during the snowstorm.  
  
There was a moment of silence then Solo turned fully toward him. "You kept your word, Fel. You took care of my daughter." He extended his hand. "Thanks."  
  
He shook the proffered hand and nodded once. "You don't have to thank me, sir. I would have done so even if you hadn't asked me."  
  
Solo's eyebrow raised and a look Jag could only describe as curiosity crossed his face. It quickly faded. He folded his arms across his chest, his stare never leaving Jag. "What exactly happened anyway? How did you manage to exit hyperspace into the middle of a minefield?"  
  
Sticking with his plan to exclude Jaina from any fault should it jeopardize her importance to his uncle's mission on Borleias, Jag replied confidently, "I miscalculated our coordinates while entering them into the nav computer."  
  
"*Miscalculated?*" A hint of skepticism laced Solo's voice and the confidence Jag had quickly subsided. Jaina's father almost looked amused by his response.  
  
"Yes, sir." He couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
A muscle in Solo's cheek tightened as he spoke. "Kid, I may not know you very well but I knew your father and Soontir never miscalculated anything." He blew out a long breath, a touch of disappointment in his voice. "What did she do?"  
  
He hesitated, unsure what course of action would be best. They hadn't discussed the possibility that their semi-ruse would be exposed, especially within hours of their return. The truth was the only answer. Even as he thought about what he was going to say, he had to give it one last try.  
  
"*She* miscalculated?" he offered and Jag cursed himself silently. He sounded like an idiot. *That was the stupidest thing you've ever said.*  
  
Solo blinked at him then, to Jag's surprise, he laughed. His arms fell to his sides, one hand slapped Jag on the shoulder. The action jarred him and Jag staggered forward a bit. "Fel, that's the most creative answer you could have given me to hide the fact that she disobeyed your orders." The laughter died and Solo grinned. "She doesn't listen to me most of the time. I knew she wasn't going to listen to you."  
  
Jag stared at him, stunned. "Well, ah, it really wasn't that bad. She would have been fine if the minefield wasn't cloaked." *She would have been fine...? I stand corrected. THAT was the stupidest thing I've ever said.*  
  
Solo's eyes sparkled with humour and it was clear he was trying not to laugh again. Jag felt a blush hit his cheeks. "Well, I would have preferred it if the minefield *wasn't there* at all, but hey, if she'd known about it she could have manoeuvred through it better. She's an excellent pilot."  
  
"I'm aware of that, sir."  
  
Solo's expression became serious again. He titled his head slightly, studying Jag once again with an intensity that unnerved him. "Is there anything else I should know?"  
  
"Well, I kissed your daughter a few times."  
  
Jag's eyes widened in shock as he heard the words slip from his lips. What was happening to him? He felt as if he could no longer control what was going on inside him. He was too tired and it didn't help that he felt as if were being interrogated. He didn't think he could stand any further humiliation and it frustrated him that he couldn't put two thoughts together in front of Jaina's father.  
  
A spasm broke out on Solo's face and his eyes narrowed. He wanted to look anywhere but at the face of the man in front of him. He forced himself to match Solo's stare. *Well, it was a good life...*  
  
When Solo spoke, his voice was low. "You did?"  
  
"Yes." He raised his chin a little, a small show of defiance. The image of a fist hitting it crossed his mind. He gulped.  
  
A moment of silence. "And?"  
  
"And?" His cheeks grew hotter. *And we slept in each other's arms wearing nothing but our undergarments. Oh, and while I fixed up her broken ribs, my hand touched her stomach a few times. Did I mention that I'm falling in love with your daughter? And those kisses? They weren't simple pecks on the cheek either. They were pretty intense. Man, she's a damn good kisser...*  
  
Jag flinched. What to say? The truth? That would surely land him in the med- ward for a year or two. A lie? Solo would see right through it and he could then tack on another year to his hospital stay.  
  
"Look, Fel. I'm not going to beat around the bush with you and I expect you to be honest with me." Solo took a step toward him, closing the space between them. Jag didn't think there was malice on his face or anger in his voice, but Solo certainly didn't seem calm about this revelation. "What are your intentions regarding my daughter?"  
  
Jag straightened, looking Solo squarely in the eye. He began to regain control of his senses and he felt himself relax a little. Solo may intimidate him on some level but he also commanded the same respect that his own father did. He deserved to know the truth and Jag would tell him even if it meant risking his ire. He had blundered badly since the moment Solo walked into his quarters. This was the chance for him to at least begin redeeming himself in the Rebel's eyes.  
  
"My intentions with your daughter are just as honourable as yours were with Senator Organa Solo." A smirk crossed the other man's face and Jag flinched again. *Maybe that was a poor choice of words.* Undaunted, he continued. "All we did was kiss, sir. Nothing more. I respect your daughter and I care about her. She's healing yet she's still very vulnerable right now. I wouldn't take advantage of that, sir."  
  
"I'm sure you wouldn't." Solo said, his voice still low. "You're a good kid, Fel, so I'm going to give you a word of warning, one that I don't give often. Most people already know it. You don't know me well, so here goes." Solo paused, leaning closer to whisper to him. "Treat Jaina right and you and I will get along just fine. Hurt her in any way and you'll have to answer to me. When it comes to my family I can be more vicious than all the Yuuzhan Vong put together. Got that?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
He held Solo's stare, tried to ignore the almost feral look in the older man's eyes. He reached out and patted his shoulder twice. "I'm glad we understand each other." Solo crossed the room and stopped near the door. Jag followed and hit the panel on the wall, opening the door.  
  
Solo took a step into the hallway then stopped. He glanced over his shoulder, his expression not quite as stern as it was moments ago. "Thanks again."  
  
"For saving Jaina's life? I would have done so---"  
  
"Not that." Solo interrupted. "While talking with Jaina in the med-ward she smiled. A lot. I haven't seen her do that in weeks."  
  
"We talked a lot on Drognan, sir. Not so much about the war, but about ourselves. I think it helped her a little."  
  
"Well, whatever you're doing, don't stop." The infamous Solo smile returned. "Except for the kissing stuff. You can forget that for a while."  
  
Despite himself, Jag grinned. "Yes, sir."  
  
Solo waved over his shoulder as he started down the hallway. "Take care, Fel. And stop calling me 'sir'. It makes me sound old."  
  
He watched the older man disappear around a corner then closed the door. Leaning heavily against the wall, Jag blew out a breath he thought he'd been holding since Solo arrived. *Well, that went better than I thought it would. I'm still alive. For now.* Crossing the room, Jag dropped back onto the bed and closed his eyes, allowing sleep to take him back to a place where only he and Jaina existed. A place where they danced in a dimly lit room, smiling and laughing, celebrating their love. 


	25. Chapter 25

*Jaya.  
  
The room was bathed in candlelight. Deep red drapes lined the farthest wall, preventing the evening light from invading their surroundings. The table, once in the middle of the room, was against the wall near the double doors. Platters of food were neatly arranged, carafes of wine and other liquors sat on the chest on the other side of the doors. The chairs were draped in the same material as the curtains, and were lined up next to the table, the sixteen seats forming a semi-circle. Smaller, more durable chairs were scattered around the perimeter of the room. The cold stone floor had been polished and closely resembled the dove gray colour it had once been.  
  
Jaya.  
  
She smiled at the people gathered in the dining hall. The space seemed almost too small for everyone but no one commented on the cramped quarters; everyone wore smiles and laughed. There wasn't a face she didn't recognized: her mother and father, Uncle Luke, Aunt Mara, and baby Ben. Wedge and Iella stood near the table, examining the delectable goodies while Syal and Myri giggled in a far corner with their cousins, Inez and Reina. Kyp, Ganner, Corran, and several other Jedi were near the windows talking privately, each one dressed in their Jedi robes. Syal smiled up at her husband, gently wiped a bit of cream from the corner of his lip. Soontir laughed, his voice rich and deep, filling the room. Tenal Ka and Lowbacca were deep on conversation, however the warrior queen managed to pause long enough to turn and smile at the man on her arm. Jacen smiled and she sensed his joy as if it were broadcast from the highest mountains.  
  
Jaya.  
  
Soft music began to play, drowning out the voices. She blushed and turned away from the fire. Jag smiled at her from the opposite end of the room, handsome in his formal dress uniform, his hair short and neat. Picking up the hem of her dress, she returned his smile and slowly crossed the room. She felt all eyes turn toward them, heard the whispers of her mother, Mara, and Syal.  
  
Jag held his hand out to her, the smile on his face the most beautiful sight she'd even seen. Placing her hand in his, he gently wrapped his arm around her waist, his palm flat against her back. She rested her other hand on his shoulder then followed his lead as he led her through the steps of the intricate waltz. As they circled the little area designated the dance floor, she noticed both mothers dab tears away from their eyes, heard the fathers laugh at a joke one of them had said. One of the flowers that had been entwined in her hair fell away when Jag brought her down in a low dip. She laughed as he scooped her up and continued with the dance, saw Myri pick up the red flower and put it her hair.  
  
Jaya.  
  
Unshed tears filled her eyes, her joy becoming greater than she thought possible. Glancing over Jag's shoulder, she looked toward the double doors. The spirit form of Anakin was smiling.*  
  
Jaina blinked a few times, slowly coming out of her sleep. The smile she had worn in her dreams remained on her face now as she thought about the events she had been lost in. Everyone was so happy and full of life. Jag had never looked more handsome to her and seeing Anakin brought tears to her eyes. It was the most wonderful dream. She hated that she woke up.  
  
Pushing herself up a little in the bed, Jaina leaned back against the plush pillows. The med-ward was quiet, the occasional sound of footprints passing outside her room drew her gaze to the door. She folded her arms across her chest, pausing briefly to wipe away a tear.  
  
*Maybe it wasn't a dream. I could feel the emotions of everyone there. I could almost reach out and touch Jag, feel his skin as our hands joined. A wave of hope rushed through her. A vision. A vision of my future with Jag...*  
  
"Hey, princess. Mind if I come in?"  
  
She looked over at the door, smiled faintly as her father entered the room even before she replied. "Hi, dad."  
  
He pulled up a chair next to the bed, leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "How do you feel?" Han asked, sitting down on her right.  
  
"Much better. I'm not sore anymore but I'm still really tired." As if to accentuate that remark, Jaina yawned.  
  
"Well, you won't have to stay here much longer. I saw Cilghal on my way here and she's going to come and check on you in a few minutes." Han leaned back in the chair, both hands flat on his lap. He studied her pensively and Jaina caught a fleeting curiosity lingering among his concern and love for her. She wondered about that. "So, where's your mother?"  
  
"She had to talk to Iella about something but she said she'd be right back." She felt uncomfortable around her father and for a moment she tried to figure out the reason for that. Then, it hit her. Before she had left for Kesna she had treated him rather harshly. She had made a promise to herself that she would try and straighten out the damage done to their relationship. She loved her parents too much and with everything that has happened recently, she needed them now more than ever.  
  
Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Jaina turned slightly to face Han, drawing her knees up in front of her. "Dad, I'm sorry for the way I behaved before we left for Kesna. I know that I've been difficult lately---"  
  
"Jaina, it's okay. I know you've been through a lot, we all have, and I understand that some things that were said and done were so in anger and pain. Let's not talk about that right now, okay? We'll talk about later, when your mother's here." She nodded and Han continued. "Besides, I'm more interested in how you and Fel survived on Drognan for four days."  
  
Jaina blushed and looked down at her hands. This wasn't exactly a discussion she wanted to have with her father. "There really isn't much to tell. The place was deserted and it lacked modern-day technology. We had to make do with what little resources we had."  
  
"So, what did you eat?"  
  
"Jag had a few rations bars that we shared and he found some canned soup. It didn't taste that good but we managed."  
  
"What about warmth? You said that the house was old and made of stone. Lots of cracks in the foundation, I would think."  
  
Jaina struggled to keep the blush from growing brighter. "Jag kept a fire going and he used two of the curtains as blankets." She neglected to tell him the part about Jag keeping her warm with his body, fearing that neither she or Jag would survive that revelation.  
  
Han tapped his fingers on his lap, his stare still intent. "Did you have any running water or did you have to melt snow and use that?"  
  
Why all the questions? Jaina curled her fingers around the fabric of the blanket and shrugged. "There was a 'fresher there, dad. The shower didn't work but Jag got the faucets in the sink working and we washed up that way."  
  
Her father nodded thoughtfully, a speculative gleam in his eyes. "Sounds to me like Fel took good care of you."  
  
She couldn't hide the grin that touched her lips. "Yes, he did."  
  
"I just came from seeing him."  
  
Jaina turned her attention to him, wide-eyed. "You did?"  
  
"Yeah. I thanked him for saving your life and taking care of you." The infamous Solo grin crossed his face. "You know I don't say 'thank you' often, so I hope Fel enjoys that while it lasts. He won't be hearing it again anytime soon."  
  
Jaina smiled. It was good to hear her father sounding like his old self again. "I bet he was surprised to see you."  
  
He sat up in the chair, his stare hardening. "Yeah, to say the least. Kid reminds me a lot of his father. Loyal, honourable, trustworthy...but he can't lie worth a damn."  
  
She blinked, stunned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"C'mon, Jaina. Maybe everyone else believes your little ruse, but not me. Your mother and Luke may be Jedi but I think I know you better than anyone." Han rose from the chair and glared down at her. Jaina flinched under that stare, one she had seen many times when she, Jacen, and Anakin would get into trouble. "Fel didn't miscalculate anything. He was covering for you."  
  
Shame washed over her followed immediately by a wave of guilt. "Dad, I can explain---"  
  
"I don't care!" He snapped, his voice harsh. "I can't believe you were going to let him lie for you!"  
  
"It wasn't my idea!" she argued, her tone almost matching his. "Jag suggested it and I didn't want to go along with it at first---"  
  
"Well, you sure didn't stop him from lying to us and altering his flight data, which I'm guessing he did also, right?" Han waited for her reply but all Jaina could do was look away. She sensed his disappointment like a vibroshiv through her gut. "Fel may have thought he was doing you a favour, Jaina, but I think he did more harm than good. You're not a little girl anymore. You've got to take responsibility for your actions---"  
  
"I have been doing that for longer than I can remember!" she argued. "So what if Jag covered for me? It didn't do any harm---"  
  
Han stared at her, incredulous. "You don't get it, do you?" Running a hand through his graying hair, he paced the room and stopped near the door. "It's not the whole lying thing that bothers me. It's the fact that you disobeyed his orders in the first place. You let your stubbornness guide your actions and that almost got you killed."  
  
Jaina swatted at a tear that suddenly stained her cheek, her gaze locked on her father. He was more adept at shielding his emotions from her than Jag was and his words saddened her. When she spoke, her voice was soft and shaky. "I was hurt and angry and I admit that it was wrong of me to go off on my own. I apologized to Jag and he forgave me."  
  
Han let out a long breath. "Jaina, honey, you're missing my point." His tone had dropped, the disappointment she had sensed faded. "You're going to be commanding Twin Suns once you walk out of this med-ward and if you're going to lead them, you have to know how to follow orders too. It's a two- way street and you've got to learn to draw the line between personal feelings and professional gain. If you hadn't disobeyed Fel's orders you *both* could have gathered information for Wedge about Kesna. Instead, you not only almost got yourself killed, you almost got Fel killed too. Have you thought about it that way?"  
  
Jaina frowned, fought another tear. She had acknowledged that she was irresponsible, had apologized to Jag. She knew that he had taken damage while coming to her rescue but until now, she hadn't fully realized that she had indeed put his life at greater risk than necessary. She would have to apologize yet again when she saw him next.  
  
Han nodded at her silence. "I'll take that as a 'no'. Look, I'm not going to say anything. This is something that you and Jag have to work out. I'm hoping that you'll do the right thing and at least tell Wedge the truth."  
  
"Is everything okay in here?"  
  
Leia stepped into the room, carrying a glass of water. She paused, kissed Han's cheek then walked over to the bed and set the glass down on the table.  
  
"Everything's fine." Han said, placing his hands on his hips. "Jaina and I were just having a little talk."  
  
Leia smiled then leaned over and kissed Jaina. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"  
  
"Tired." Jaina leaned back against the pillows again. She wanted to get away, escape this conversation and deal with it when she was well-rested.  
  
"You'll be out of here soon enough and we'll get you settle into your quarters." Her mother took up the seat Han had vacated while her father remained standing at the foot of the bed. Her stare passed between the two. "So, are either of you going to tell me what was going on in here?"  
  
"We were talking about Fel." Han said, glancing briefly at Jaina. "I just came from seeing him. Had to thank him for getting her back safely."  
  
Leia reached out and touched Jaina's hand. She could feel the joy and love from her mother as if it were as bright as a supernova. She felt shame for treating her so poorly. "I'll have to thank him as well. I imagine he's just as tired as you are."  
  
"It was a long flight back." *And a rather comfortable one, too.* She blushed and looked away.  
  
There was a moment of silence before Leia spoke again. "Jaina, I know that this may not be the time or place, but I think you and I need to talk about Jacen and Anakin. There are things I want---"  
  
"Mom, can we do this later? I'm really tired and I've talked enough about Anakin and Jacen over the last four days---"  
  
"You've talked to Jag about your brothers?" Leia asked, surprised.  
  
Jaina sensed shock from her father as well and that brought a faint grin to her lips. "Yes. Jag and I talked about Anakin and Jacen and he told me about his siblings who've died. We got to know each other really well on Drognan. We talked about a lot of things."  
  
"That's not all you did, I hear." Han said. His voice was light and his eyes sparkled with amusement.  
  
Leia turned to her husband. "What do you mean?"  
  
This time, Han almost laughed. "Didn't she tell you? Jaina and Fel swapped spit a few times."  
  
"Han!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
Mortified, Jaina shoved herself out of the bed in one fluent motion. She stalked around the bed, stopping directly in front of Han. Embarrassed and angry, she glared at him. "Jag told you?"  
  
"Not willingly. I think I scared it out of him."  
  
Leia came up on his other side. "Han, what did you do to him?"  
  
Han shrugged his shoulders in defiance. "I didn't do anything! I didn't break any limbs and he still has all his teeth!" He took two long strides backward, an action that brought him closer to the door. "I can very intimidating when I want to be and Fel just blurted it out."  
  
Jaina threw her hands up and turned away, her face hot. "I can't believe this! Dad, how could you?"  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault the kid can't keep secrets."  
  
Leia stood staring at Jaina and she could almost feel her mother's gaze. She sensed curiosity and elation flow through her. "Jag kissed you?" Her voice was wistful.  
  
Sighing heavily, she turned to face her parents. Her mother looked hopeful, her father...well, she couldn't figure out what his expression meant. Playing on that, she smiled sweetly. "Yes, Jag kissed me. Although, I kissed him first."  
  
Han winced, shaking his head. "I *did not* need to know that!"  
  
Before anymore could be said on that subject, Cilghal, the Mon Cal Jedi and medic, came into the room. Her lips twitched into a smile as she bowed her head to the elder Solos. "I would like to examine Jaina once more before she is released. If you don't mind leaving us?"  
  
"Gladly." Han said, already half-way out of the room.  
  
Leia leaned over and kissed Jaina's cheek. "We'll be waiting outside."  
  
"Don't feel like you have to." she replied curtly. Still humiliated, Jaina didn't say a word as the other Jedi performed her examination. After she got some much needed rest and a good hot shower and some food, she'd have to pay Jag a little visit and scold him for allowing his normally calm and cool composure for faltering in front of Han Solo 


	26. Chapter 26

Waking up was hard to do. Especially since sleep had been almost non- existent during the last several days. He was awake but Jag found that he was having trouble opening his eyes. He was exhausted and would have gladly spent the rest of the day sleeping. He was usually not this lazy however the lack of rest he had on Drognan was finally hitting him and he couldn't find the energy to get up.  
  
He hadn't moved from the bed since he fell asleep after Han Solo had visited him. Jag whispered a curse against the blankets beneath him and somehow found the strength to push himself up from the bed. His legs were a bit wobbly and he staggered briefly before he turned and sat down on the edge of the mattress. Glancing down at his wrist chrono, he cursed again. *Eleven-hundred. I can't believe I've been asleep since yesterday.*  
  
Jag stifled a yawn then got up and walked over to the table next to the bed. The space between the table and the wall near the 'fresher was narrow and he had to sit down on the bed again just to use the small comm unit that rested there. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, still trying to work the sleep out of them. He keyed up the channel for his uncle's office and hoped he wasn't too angry with him.  
  
"Antilles here. Go ahead."  
  
"It's Jagged, sir." The last word came out at the end of another yawn.  
  
"Jag! So nice to hear from you!" His uncle's voice was laced with humour. "I hope you're feeling okay."  
  
"Yes, sir. I'm fine. I just called to apologize for not meeting with you yesterday. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was. I laid down for a rest and I, well, I just woke up. I'm sorry."  
  
"No need to apologize, Jag. I understand." A grin touched his lips. He imagined that his uncle didn't get angry too often. He didn't seem like the kind of man who had even an inkling of a temper. "I was a little bit concerned about you, though, and I came to check on you last night. I didn't want to wake you so I just let you sleep."  
  
"Thank you, sir."  
  
"Anytime. I hope you don't mind but I took your laundry while I was there and had it cleaned for you. One of the protocol droids should be bringing it over to you momentarily."  
  
Jag stared at the comm in surprise. "You didn't have to do that, Uncle Wedge."  
  
"I know, but you had just gotten back and you aren't familiar with the set- up of this place yet. Don't expect housekeeping services everyday, though."  
  
He smiled. "I know how to wash my clothes, sir. I think I can manage."  
  
Wedge laughed. "Good. Get washed up and stop by when you're able. There are a few things I want to talk to you about."  
  
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."  
  
"Take your time. See you then." Wedge clicked off and the comm went silent.  
  
It took him a few more minutes before he finally decided that he had to move in order to get things done. Jag shook his head, let out a long yawn. Geez, I'm tired. It will take a few days to back on schedule. Perhaps it wasn't sleep that made him feel so weary. When he woke on Drognan with Jaina in his arms, life seemed simple and complete. He could have stayed that way forever. Now he was back to his daily routine and he never thought he'd actually dislike it. He did. He would give it all up for Jaina.  
  
Jag went to the 'fresher, closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it. He didn't need a shower at the moment but it was probably the only thing that could wake him up aside from a strong cup of caf. He undressed slowly, tossing his relatively clean clothes on the floor. Jag stared down at the pile and shook his head. *If Mother saw how untidy I was becoming, she'd forbid me from leaving home again. The Rebels are a bad influence on me.* Jag grinned, thinking of Jaina, and didn't think it quite so bad that she had an affect on him.  
  
He was about to start the water when he heard the distant knock outside the 'fresher. *Uncle Wedge was right when he said the droid would be here momentarily.* Certainly not decent to answer it, Jag used the voice command for entry. "Open!" he hollered against the 'fresher door. "You can just place the laundry on the bed! Thank you!"  
  
He was never one for cold showers. The shock of the water hitting his skin when he stepped into the shower nearly sent him running out again. His eyes widened and he let out a small gasp of surprise. Jag grimaced the entire time as he washed up and when he was finished, he shut the water off so fast he almost broke the faucet. He stood immobile for a moment even as the shivers crept along his spine.  
  
Jag grabbed the nearest towel and quickly dried his hair and face. He then wrapped it around his waist and sighed disgustedly as he looked down at his appearance. The towel barely covered him and it didn't even go to his knees. Guessing that a Sullustan, an Ewok, or a being much shorter than himself had used this room last, he had to hold the towel in place while he walked over to the sink.  
  
Clutching the towel with one hand, he ran the other one over his jaw, turning his head left to right while he looked in the mirror. Fortunately, he didn't have to shave again today. He leaned against the sink in an effort to support the towel then went about brushing his teeth and fixing his hair. He didn't bother to towel-dry his hair because he wanted to meet with Wedge as soon as possible. He had kept his uncle waiting for almost twenty-four hours. He scolded himself for being tardy, even if sleep was foremost on his mind.  
  
He used up the last of his deodorant and made a mental note to ask his uncle where he could get some. Gripping the towel again he quickly cleaned the 'fresher and scooped his dirty clothes up with the other hand. Jag leaned a shoulder against the panel on the wall and the door rolled back.  
  
Crossing the room, he stopped in front of the table and set his clothes down on the chair closest to him. He rummaged around in his backpack for clean undergarments, yawning again. Finding everything he needed, Jag turned around....  
  
...and nearly fell backward when Jaina moved to stand in front of him. His belongings slipped from his hand, his grip on the towel suddenly became tight enough to cut off circulation. He didn't scare easily but Jaina's presence unnerved him. He hadn't even heard her, didn't even see her when he stepped out of the 'fresher.  
  
"I didn't mean to startle you." she said, her tone light. She was dressed in a deep brown jumpsuit and boots, her hair pulled back away from her face. Her cheeks had a spot of colour to them, but from embarrassment or simply having been scrubbed clean Jag didn't know. He had a feeling that he was redder than her at the moment.  
  
"I thought you were a droid bringing my laundry." Jag glanced briefly at the bed and noticed that his clean clothes were indeed laying there. He struggled to regain his composure and failed miserably. *It must be a Solo thing, he concluded, for they seem to be the only ones to have this affect on me.* Her arrival scared the pants off me. Literally. Jag brought his gaze back to hers, saw the hint of mischief in her brandy-brown eyes and knew that she wasn't going to let this opportunity pass her by.  
  
"I got here at the same time the droid did. I took the laundry from him and decided to wait for you."  
  
"Is something wrong?" He wished she would turn around, leave the room for a moment so he could get dressed. Instead, Jaina just stood there in front of him, her hands on her hips, a playful smile on her lips. He had the sudden desire to leave his uncle waiting for another few hours. He blushed and leaned back against the table, placing one hand behind him for support while the other continued to maintain his dignity.  
  
"No, not really." She took a step closer and if he could have, Jag would have taken a step back. What was she doing? He needed to get dressed. "I came by because I think we should tell Wedge the truth. He should know that I was the one responsible for our unexpected stay on Drognan."  
  
"I was thinking the same thing, actually. I was going to speak to you later about that." His breath was becoming tight in his throat. "I was just getting ready to go speak to him now."  
  
"Good. I'll go with you." Jaina smiled and the beauty of it robbed him of speech. "Before we go, though, Jag, I need to have a word with you about something else."  
  
"Oh? What's that?" He tried to sound casual, hoped that she couldn't hear the pounding of his heart. It took all the strength he had to stop himself from kissing her, from touching her. The conversation with her father the day before crossed his mind and he decided he didn't want to speak with Han Solo for a long time yet.  
  
Jaina, however, had other plans.  
  
She closed the gap between them, the sparkle in her eyes never wavering. Jag straightened in surprise as she reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders. His skin was still damp but Jaina didn't seem to mind. Her eyes followed her fingers as she began to trace the curve of his shoulders. Her hands smoothed over his skin with a slowness that stirred all the emotions he held for her. He loved this woman with a power that scared him. She had no idea how much of a spell she cast over him. Or, perhaps she did and she wanted to continue to enchant and excite him.  
  
It seemed like long moments later when she finally answered him. "You told my dad that we kissed." Her fingers traced the length of his arms, the light touch sending a shiver through every fibre of his being.  
  
A lump formed in his throat and it took every effort to force it down. "I didn't intend to tell him. It just slipped out."  
  
"Really?" Her fingers drifted from his shoulders and began a journey down along his chest. He had trouble holding her gaze as her palms flattened against his stomach.  
  
"Yes. Well, in all honesty, I don't think I could have lied to your father no matter what."  
  
"I had a feeling you wouldn't be able to lie for me. You're terrible at it."  
  
"That's a good thing I guess."  
  
One hand glided over his skin and stopped to rest on the hand that was holding the towel up while the other rested on his other hip. The action drew her closer to him and he believed at that moment he had lost all coherent thought.  
  
Jag's voice caught in his throat. "What are you doing?"  
  
Jaina's smile was a combination of mischief and delight. "Punishing you for letting my dad find out what happened."  
  
He leaned forward, bringing his free hand to rest atop hers. He could feel the heat of her skin through the towel. "Punishing me or torturing me?"  
  
Her smile grew. "Well, I thought it would be punishment since you become uncomfortable when I do things like this and not only that, but my parents and your uncle are within walking distance of this room. Isn't that punishment enough for revealing our little secret?"  
  
"In most cases, it would be, but I think this time I have to say that it's a pleasant kind of torture." He leaned in closer, could smell the sweet floral hint of soap on her skin and in her hair. He couldn't hold back another moment. He had to kiss her. If he didn't, he thought he would die.  
  
Jaina took a step back from him, the smile on her face a perfect imitation of her father's. The roguish Solo smile. He hated it at this moment. Jag sighed, shaking his head. "I guess I am to be punished then."  
  
She giggled, walking over the bed. He watched as Jaina picked up his flight suit and smoothed her hands over it to rid it of wrinkles. "We can't keep Wedge waiting any longer." She walked back over to him, bent to pick up the clothes he had dropped. Jag held back a breath as her knuckles moved against his leg as she stood up.  
  
"You're doing that on purpose now."  
  
"And I wasn't before?" she teased, handing him the clothes.  
  
Jag accepted them and brushed passed her. Now that she knew many of strengths and weaknesses, he was putty in her hands. He would have a hard time keeping up his stoic appearance in front of her.  
  
"Jag?"  
  
"Yes?" He stopped at the 'fresher, half-turned to face her.  
  
"I never had the chance to tell you this before. You have a cute butt."  
  
His eyes widened in surprise. *I've never been told that before!* "That remains to be seen." he scoffed, trying to hide his embarrassment.  
  
"It most certainly does."  
  
He stared at her, stunned.  
  
Jaina smiled her more innocent smile and blew him a kiss.  
  
Jag laughed, bringing his hand up as if he caught the kiss and placed it on his lips. *I don't think anyone has every caught me off guard with such offbeat comments as that woman. That's one reason why I love her.*  
  
*I love you, too.*  
  
Jag blinked and stared at Jaina. "Did you say something?"  
  
She shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Nope." She looked over and grinned.  
  
It didn't take him long to get dressed. The flight suit was still warm from the drying cycle and it bore a crisp scent that reminded him of the woods behind his family's home. He gave his hair a quick brush then exited the 'fresher.  
  
Jaina was standing again, holding his boots. Jag smiled his thanks and put them on. He picked up his comlink from the table near the bed, shoved his flight gloves into the side pocket on his pant leg. "Let me do the talking at first, okay? I think I should apologize to Uncle Wedge for deceiving him before we tell him everything that happened."  
  
"You're not going to let it slip to him that we kissed are you?" Jaina passed him his utility belt.  
  
Jag accepted it. "Ha, ha. No. I'm not going to tell him that. Unlike your father, I think Uncle Wedge would tease me about it." He glanced around the room, making sure he had all that he needed. "Ready?"  
  
"You're not going like that." Jaina studied him, the smile returning to her lovely face.  
  
"Like what?" He raised his hand to his hair and began straightening it again.  
  
She shook her head and let out a little tsk, tsk. Jaina leaned up and pulled the zipper of his flight suit up to his neck then adjusted the collar. She smoothed her hands over the his shoulders and arms, again getting rid of any lingering wrinkles. "Very handsome, Colonel."  
  
"Thank you, Lieutenant."  
  
"You're welcome. Let's go." Jaina turned toward the door.  
  
"Wait." He reached out and caught her hand.  
  
Jaina turned to him. "Yes?"  
  
"I need you to do something for me." He kept his tone light, not hinting at what he was going to ask her.  
  
She looked at him perplexed. "What is it?"  
  
Jag smiled and leaned closer to her face. "Kiss me." he breathed against her cheek. "That's an order."  
  
Smiling, Jaina looked at him, raised a hand to trace his jaw line. "Yes, sir." she whispered and pressed her lips to his. 


	27. Epilogue

She couldn't sleep.  
  
Jaina laid flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She had been tossing and turning for over an hour now but no matter what she did, she could not get comfortable. It was odd, she decided, that the night before she had no problem getting to sleep. Tonight it was much different. Perhaps it was because the previous night she was tired from the trip back to Borleias and she was able to sleep on a soft mattress with a plush pillow underneath her head. Tonight, she was more alert than she wanted to be. She had a long day ahead of her tomorrow and she wanted to be rested and relaxed. She blew out a breath, ran her fingers through her hair.  
  
She missed Jag.  
  
That sounded silly since she had been with him for a good two hours in Wedge's office then had dinner with him and the other Twin Suns pilots and had seen him off and on throughout the day. They were lucky that Wedge wasn't angry with them for initially deceiving him about the circumstances surrounding their stay on Drognan. In fact, she had sensed Wedge's surprise at his nephew's failed attempt to lie to him and their apparent closeness. Of course, if Wedge suspected there was more going on between them he never would have verbalized it. Unlike her father. She was still embarrassed by his behaviour.  
  
It was going to be difficult keeping their relationship a secret. It was probably for the best, given the situation they were in. It was probably for the worst, too, Jaina decided. For now that she and Jag had acknowledged they loved each other, they were going to worry moreso about each other's well-being.  
  
She had gotten so use to having Jag with her during the four days on Drognan, she felt lost without him. She expected to see him come into the room, carrying a carafe of wine and dazzling her with one of the rare smiles he graced only her with. She yearned to feel the warmth of his body next to her while she settled into sleep, his arms strong and loving around her. She missed waking up before him and losing herself in the soft sound of his breathing while he was deep in slumber. She missed studying him when he thought she wasn't looking. There was such strength and compassion and so many more wonderful qualities she could see in his profile, feel through the Force.  
  
How could she ever survive without him?  
  
Jaina crawled out of bed and crossed the small space to where her clothes were. She dressed quickly and then quietly slipped out of her room. It was well past midnight and most of the base was asleep, except for the night sentries and patrols Wedge kept busy. She walked down the corridor and exited the building at the furthest door. It brought her out near the spaceport. Perhaps now was a good time to get another X-Wing ready for her. Only this time, Solo, try not to crash it.  
  
She slowed her pace as she came closer to the landing grid where the Clawcraft was berthed. She would never be able to look at the ship the same again. True, it was a deadly vessel but now it was so much more. It was a safe little haven that for four hours she and Jag had shared. His discomfort while she moved around on his lap was endearing and his firm hold around her waist had assured her that he wasn't going to let anything happen to her. They had talked and laughed and she had unwittingly made him suffer. She wondered if Jag would be thinking the same way as she was now, that every time he sat in the cockpit he'd be reminded of her and the kiss they shared before they exited and faced their families.  
  
She sensed his presence before she reached the landing grid. So Jag couldn't sleep either. A smile touched Jaina's face as she touched on his thoughts briefly. He was thinking about the trip back to Borleias. Jaina spotted him quickly then. He was sitting on the ground, his back pressed up against the ship. His head was leaning back, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. His arms were folded across his chest. As she approached him, Jaina realized that his eyes were closed. Not in sleep. In silent reverie.  
  
He hadn't noticed her arrival. Jaina looked down at him. Was he aware of how handsome he was? She had thought that once before and concluded that Jag probably had no idea how appealing he was to the female eye. He wasn't a naive man by any means but when it came to his appearance, he was as clueless as a monkey-lizard.  
  
She kicked the sole of his boot. Jag blinked and looked at her. "Mind if I join you?"  
  
"Not at all."  
  
Jaina grinned and sat down next to him. She mimicked his position, stretching her legs out in front of her. Her hands rested on her lap. She was glad she had sensed him here. Tonight would probably be the last night they'd have to spend any time together and even if that meant they'd only be sitting here for five minutes, she would gladly take it.  
  
Jag unfolded his arms and rested his right hand on her leg, palm-side up. The landing grid was dark and they were relatively shielded from any prying eyes. Jaina placed her hand on his, lacing their fingers together. She leaned her head back against the ship and followed Jag's stare upward. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the stars seemed to be twinkling down at them as if to say, 'Here we are. We will be your light. We will protect you and keep you safe.' Her thoughts drifted briefly to Chewbacca, Anakin, Davin, and Cherith and she suddenly felt as if nothing could ever harm them.  
  
"I love you, Jaina." Jag's voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
She smiled, felt the tear slip down her cheek. "I love you."  
  
They sat there in silence but for how long, Jaina didn't know. Jag squeezed her hand every now and then just to let her know that he was awake and thinking of her. He didn't need to do that, though. His thoughts were on the same path hers were. He was worried about the future, afraid that somehow they would be separated and lose each other. He thought about his life with her, held his hopes and dreams close to his heart.  
  
Jaina raised his hand to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss. She felt Jag's love wash over her, could almost feel his smile. Out among the stars, beyond the Pyria system, a war was being fought. Beings were running and fighting for their very survival. Death and destruction touched more lives that it should have been allowed. Pain and suffering was a way of life. Soon, she would return to active duty and she and Jag and their friends and family would once again be thrust in battle after battle.  
  
She would worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, here with Jag, under the stars and safe in his presence, all was right with the universe. 


	28. Special Annoucement!

The dishes had been cleaned and placed on the chest near the door. The candles on the mantle had burned down to the very last of the wick. The curtains that had served as their blankets had been dusted off and put back on the curtain rods they belonged to. The fire had not been re-ignited when they'd woken; the embers had quickly turned cold and ashen. The 'fresher had been cleaned up, the damp cloths hung on the rusted hooks to dry. The dining hall had been straightened up and everything seemed in place.  
  
Jaina fastened the utility belt around her waist; noticed the torn fabric of her flight suit. She sighed heavily, looking around the room to make sure she hadn't missed anything. For the last hour she had been trying to think of a way to stay longer on Drognan. She thought about telling Jag that her ribs still bothered her and she wasn't flight-ready yet. She considered suggesting that he leave her here while he summoned a transport to come and pick her up. She contemplated feigning illness, she imagined she could fool him into thinking she had fainted while staying in a Jedi trance for a few hours.  
  
No matter what excuse she tried to come up with, they all led back to the fact that sooner or later they would have to return to Borleias.  
  
She stood in front of the table, her fingers resting on the back of a chair. The dress she had worn the night before was laid flat on the surface of the table, still damp from the washing she had given it. Her fingers traced over the soft material, the memory of last night so very fresh in her mind.  
  
If someone had asked her months ago if she thought that she and Jag would become more than friends she would have laughed in their face. After last night, she couldn't imagine being just a friend to him. In the last several days they had confided in each other and shared stories and thoughts and feelings and Jaina wanted to forever stay in this little paradise with Jag; to spend the rest of her life discovering all his secrets, talking of his hopes and dreams, learning not only his mind but his body. She wanted to share her life with him and the uncertainty of what may yet happen in this war threatened to rob her of that future.  
  
She wished she could take the dress with her. It was a reminder of the most wonderfully sweet night of her life. Her mind constantly replayed the waltz Jag had led her through and the way their bodies had moved as one. Her lips yearned to feel the gentle press of his again. Her heart pounded in her chest at the very thought of him. She felt fluttery and light all over and wanted to spend every waking moment with him.  
  
Once they returned to Borleias things would be different. They would revert back to their professional relationship and continue about as if nothing had happened. Jaina didn't want that to happen yet it was the most logical thing for them to do. They needed to remain focused on the task at hand and she had already learned that when she was around Jag it was very easy to become distracted. It would be good for them to be back in action again. She would resume command of Twin Suns. Jag would willingly fly with her and follow her orders. She would be around her family again and they would be able to begin healing together.  
  
Yet she would trade it all for one more day with Jag.  
  
Jaina walked to the other end of the table where the music player still sat. She turned it on and the voice of Isadora Falansi began to play. She had already listened to it once while Jag was out checking the Clawcraft. The soft, poignant voice of the Taanab native gently carried throughout the dining hall, slicing through the silence.  
  
She turned half-way to face toward the windows. Outside it was still gray but the snow no longer hindered her vision and Jaina could see some of the trees that surrounded the fortified house. As much as she tried to squelch them before they started, tears began to stream her cheeks and she felt an unbearable ache grip her heart.  
  
She did not want to go.  
  
"All systems are back online and operational." Jag was staying as he entered the room. "I'll have to have someone take a look at the engine when we get back."  
  
Jaina swiped at her cheeks before she turned to face him. She didn't want him to see her tears. She needed to be strong now. "You mean you're actually going to let someone else touch your ship?"  
  
"No. I said I'll have someone take a look at it."  
  
Turning to face him, she put on her best brave face. "If you think that it's unsafe, I could wait here and you go and get help. I don't mind waiting for a transport."  
  
He stripped off his flight gloves and set them down on the table next to the dress. He was dressed in his flight suit as well and Jaina wondered briefly if there was ever a time where Jag didn't look handsome. She had yet to see that moment.  
  
"I'm not leaving you here alone and I wouldn't consider flying if I didn't think it wasn't safe." He walked over to the fireplace, checking to make sure there were no lingering flickers of flame. "It may be a tight fit but the journey back is only four, maybe five hours."  
  
"I'm not sure I'm flight ready." she said, placing her hand on her left side.  
  
Jag turned to face her. "Did you put your binding back on?"  
  
"Well, no. I didn't think I needed it."  
  
"As soon as we get to Borleias, we'll get you to the med-ward. You'll be feeling like yourself in no time."  
  
*Looks like the Jedi trance trick is my last resort.*  
  
Even as she thought about faking a fainting spell, Jaina knew it wouldn't work. Jag was being reasonable. Their families were worried about them. They couldn't delay it any longer.  
  
She walked slowly back over to where the dress lay and stood next to Jag. "I tried to put the drapes back up but the brackets are broken."  
  
Jag nodded. "I accidently broke them while taking them down. I hope the owners don't get too upset when they see it."  
  
"Do you think they'll ever come back? The owners?"  
  
"I don't know. I'd have to say no, considering the shape this place was in when we got here."  
  
Her fingers ran over the shimmersilk once more. "I wish I could take this with me. If the owners come back, they might be upset to find it gone."  
  
"We can have a dress designed just like it when the war is over."  
  
Jaina looked up at him and saw the faint sparkle in his eyes. His arms were folded across his chest and he was watching her pensively. She touched on his feelings and was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who regretting leaving Drognan. She turned to face him, placed a hand on his arm.  
  
"Can't we stay just a little longer? A few hours won't make a difference."  
  
Jag sighed, taking both of her hands in his. He held them gingerly, his thumbs slowly stroking her skin. "We have to get back, Jaina. You know that."  
  
"I know." She lowered her head, staring at their feet. "What's going to happen to us?"  
  
He tensed a little and Jaina sensed the uncertainty course through him as he considered that question. After a moment of silence, he answered simply, "I don't know."  
  
"I'm afraid, Jag." Jaina felt the tears start again and struggled to force them down. "I'm afraid that when we get back we're going to get lost in this war and we're not going to find our way back to each other. That we're not going to find our way back to this moment."  
  
A finger caught under her chin and Jag brought her stare back up to meet his. He gently wiped away a tear. "I'm not going to let that happen. We will always have this moment. I'm not gong to forget, Jaina. Not Drognan. Not you."  
  
"I don't want to go back to the killing and the destruction. I want to stay here, where there is nothing but peace and happiness and love." Her bottom lip started to quiver and Jaina thought she was going to lose all her composure and break down in Jag's arms.  
  
"Nor do I." He brushed her hair away from her eyes then took her hands in his again. "I'm afraid that when we get back to Borleias I'm going to revert back to the person I was before we came here. I don't want that to happen. I'm just beginning to discover things about myself that I never knew existed. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I like who I am becoming."  
  
"So do I." She managed a smile and when Jag returned the gesture, Jaina's heart skipped a beat. *If this is what falling in love feels like, I don't ever want to feel anything else again.* Taking his hands, she led him over to the spot they had designated the dance floor the night before.  
  
"One more dance? Before we leave?"  
  
Jag's smile grew. "Are you going to treat me to that rather evocative dance you did last night?"  
  
Jaina felt her cheeks flush. "No. I was half-drunk when I did that. I'm rather embarrassed by that."  
  
"Don't be. I rather enjoyed it." He glanced around the room. "I think there is still some wine left..."  
  
"Jag!" She punched him in the shoulder and smirked when he grunted.  
  
"You enjoy inflicting pain on me don't you?"  
  
She laughed and happily went into his embrace. "It's not my fault you're an easy target."  
  
"Ah. A flaw in my upbringing then."  
  
The song that started to play was an enchanting melody, the singer's voice graceful and lovely. Jaina expected Jag to start leading her through the waltz but he did not move. They stood between windows and table, hands laced as if to fuse them as one. She pulled back a little to glance up at him.  
  
*Once, as my heart remembers, all the stars were fallen embers. Once, when night seemed forever. I was with you.*  
  
He was looking down at her.  
  
Jaina reached out her hand and brushed her fingers over his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin and the slight prickle of stubble. He was studying her, unsmiling. His lips were hot and full beneath her fingers. Just beneath the sombreness of his look was another man, one who looked down on her with sparking pale green eyes.  
  
She wondered briefly if there had been a time she had feared Jag. Not because of his ability as a pilot but because of the man she had been introduced to. She couldn't feel fear in his presence ever, she realized. Not now, not after spending the last several days on Drognan with him. He fascinated her. There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. It was as if he saw her as a woman and had his own thoughts about what he'd like to do with her.  
  
He could silence her with a look and make her cheeks blush. Not from embarrassment but instead anticipation. Her blood rushed, hot, through her body. Her breath grew tight.  
  
*Once, in the care of morning, in the air was all belonging. Once, when that day was dawning, I was with you.*  
  
Jag lowered his head slowly. Jaina simply waited and sighed when she felt the texture of his lips, the heat of his mouth. She arched closer to him, her lips falling open beneath his. He coaxed her to him, the emotion hinted at in his gaze there fully in his kiss. He murmured something, a word, an endearment or a command, she wasn't sure. His hand came up and gently flattened against her cheek, tilted her head. She moaned, a simple sound that echoed her body's enchantment with such a thing. Her helpless murmur connected them, a breath passed from one to the other. The kiss grew deeper until there was only shadows in her mind.  
  
She wanted to be inhaled by him.  
  
*How far we are from morning, how far we are? And the stars shining through the darkness, falling in the air.*  
  
A breath escaped her, one and then another. There were no thoughts in her mind, only an ache that brought no pain. It spread throughout her body, heated her chest, raced to her toes. His lips were soft and warm, the touch of his tongue both shocking and welcomed. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his flight suit, pressing against the texture in frustration. His skin was shielded and covered from her, and she could not touch him, could not feel the heat of him.  
  
Was life given in the power of a kiss? She felt her body change, her breath grow tight. A sensation like fire raged through her. One hand wound around his neck, the other strayed to his cheek, thumb pressed against his jaw as if to hold him closer. His skin was almost hot beneath her palm.  
  
*Once, as the night was leaving, into us our dreams were weaving. Once, all dreams were worth keeping. I was with you.*  
  
He pulled her toward him, the tightness of their embrace accentuating all their differences. Curves against solid muscle. Hollows pressed into hard flesh. His height and strength. Her softness.  
  
Something within her whimpered, craved him. Demanded him. Something wild and yearning.  
  
Long moments later, he lifted his head, ending the kiss. Jaina blinked and opened her eyes, a sound of protest on her lips. Jag's expression was tense with passion, his eyes filled with the same desire she felt deep in her soul.  
  
He leaned forward a little and gently rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Jaina." his voice was a whisper against her skin.  
  
She closed her eyes, tears stung her cheeks. Not from pain. Tears of joy. "I love you, too."  
  
*Once, when our hearts were singing, I was with you.* 


End file.
